JUDGEMENT

We care for people judgement...we mind about others' judgement... but, do we mind about Lord's judgement?

Learnt JUDGEMENT in tonight's disciple. Feel horrified and examine myself once more..

We as a people, is really stubborn and arrogant... we always mind about how is the world looking on us, do what ever in other's favor, but do we ever think of what does God's want in His eyes? Do we ever think of that? Sometime, we ignore our own mistakes and pretending that we are not doing wrong, other people also do like that, anything wrong? no right...and please don't be too sensitive....blablabla...

Do not be stubborn anymore as JUDGEMENT is coming soon!

I'm nobody without HIM

Seriously, I was quite need to examine my belief now.. Am I really rely and believe on my Savior King? I will worry about something even I prayed for it already.. What for I worried about tomorrow, for tomorrow is in HIS hand..

I was quite down when thinking of our future house where it's quite a big amount we need to pay.. Ya.. Bit regret to buy such an expensive house.. When can we finish paying those loan? How long the time will be taken? If both of us lost our jobs, what will happen then? Will us still happy like now?

Just back from SG last Sunday and had a chat with Ping ping... She doesn't has mind of marriage anymore! So shocking! She was so enthusiasted to get married last year when we meet in Christmas. Her reason is she still want to enjoy single life. Once get married, she wants both are side by side but not apart. Look in me...Uncle Yong and I are going to get married next year, but we will still stay apart after that... Most of buddies saying that, after marriage must stay together, if not, just delay and delay.. I'm fine with that.. For me, staying apart is not a big problems for us, at least now we agreed to nearly finish paying the housing loan first.

Yea.. Only God know something deep in my heart.. Who say I'm not worrying... Everything looks fine now but who knows what will happen in future? Will he get trapped at outside? Gosh! My mind is full with him anytime... I'm the one trapped by him... Ha... My first love...

God, I pray to you again.. I'm nobody without YOU.. You bring us together and I'm so grateful with Your gift to me... I put him on Your hand for You are our Father.. Do not worry for tomorrow for everything will be fine as we prayed! Thank you Lord..

In Jesus name, I pray..Amen..

Life of recent

My blog is outdate now.... It's such a long time I was away here...Yea, less writing the blog...Ha,...as I have the real ears besides me...where he can be my listener and my mentor....

yea.. life is still busy, and looks more clumsy this time....hmm....what's going wrong?! Anyway, still thanks giving as God brought all stuffs to me...and He knows how far is my ability....

Well, I would like to comment a bit about 4S2 in 2010 with 4S2 in 2012. It is really really a great different. Well.... I like 4S2 in 2010..They are active and brilliant! Even thought they are talkative, yet they are smart! But, 4S2 in 2012 are so so disappointing.... They are passive and impolite and worse! not serious in study! I was frustrated finally yesterday where a boy sparked it! I was screaming madly and feeling that my blood is boiling and it's going to burn out anytime! I was so angry at that time... The most unwanted is when asking about whether they are able to follow or not, they are just keep silent and silent.... Excuse me...please give me a response! Headache!!!!

Just hope that their result wont be too worse in the end of the year......

Dates

I just rolled back to the dates to recall the important dates with Uncle Yong...I feel so.......just an undescribable feeling with him besides me... I am ready myself towards marriage life where I am going to hang out the rest of my life with him..... All sweet memories within... Thanks God for attached us together..... May our relationship glorify Thy Name...!

It's so unfair!

I just wonder why my school will make such a decision... Just realize that it is so unfair!

Why we need to use two work books for one subject? Poor students have to use the more simple one just because they will definitely not able to answer...

Oh man! it is so ridiculous... The work book is too simple and the question is not the standard examination question... OK... if you says it is to attract their attention in learning, so, we just teach them the most basic one for each chapter...Is it fair? it is fair enough to the poor students? We are teachers and we should teach every part of the chapter... it is not our rights to choose which part to score by the students.. If he or she is a smart student in that poor class, no matter how hard he or she works, the most he or she gets will be just what they learn, but they never know that there are still a little small part of the question which ignored by teacher...

I felt so angry today and I just wonder, how come the heads are so clumsy in making such decision...they never stand on behalf of the boys and gals who are poor, but just thinking on behalf of teachers, to make the job easier... But, who is going to responsible to the students? They just like been cheated by the teachers after they knew the actual pattern of the questions.... Aiz...I was so sigh~

It's just grumble here...

Domestic violence

Man should not hit woman, this is called domestic violence...

Only one reason will lead to divorce and this is the reason...

I really don't like meeting

It is really breaking the record! I had 4 meetings continuously for this week... It is such a nonsense!...

I really don't like meeting... Always the meeting comes out with zero conclusion, but time has been wasted...what we gain? We gained the pain, the tiredness and the sleepiness... I wonder why my school like meeting so much....

When the meeting is ongoing, most of us who are the teachers are not paying attention...After the meeting is finished, we don't even remember or don't even understand what is the purpose of the meeting...sometime, there is no conclusion for the important point to be discussed! This is what I most hated.... Please make it short and neat...don't drag us for a long time!

Well, I had two disgusting meetings lately.... their words are like shit and nonsense... If you called us for meeting, to discuss something, asking us to settle something in a meeting, then why you fight back all of our opinions? We are just comments and bringing out the problems...the problem is there.... we are not fooling you around ok.... Yet, why you are frustrating? I wonder... Are we demanding? Eating the food with high price but still not tasting good...are we demanding for more quantity and quality? Eating the same food in all weekdays throughout the year and yet, still the same foods for the new year, are we demanding for asking more choices in the new year? Birds' shit is seeing around, are we demanding for a cleaner place for dining? Wonder.... People are just like doing the show... I really feel disgusting....

How I hope there is some changes in our school...but without the unity, it is hard to be done.....

Lord is training me to be more patient.... to deal with people, to love the one that is not my liking.... ya...accept them just like how Jesus Christ accept me also.... =)

First day of school reopen

I was so bek tahan with my school, always playing magic huh?! fooling us around and around.... and, they do not like to keep their promise! I hate it!

I have to teach 3 BC classes this year which I was so frustrated now. In the earliest, just two classes been promised, but end up with three classes now! DAMN! I am not expert in this subject la....you want me fooling the students, just like how you fooling us around?! Why it is third year but I still need to worry with my subjects to teach? and now, BC, guess I have no way to run out again..... I been trapped and cheated! It is so bek song!

So, I went to fight for two classes only this afternoon, yet cool water poured on me....Hard to change o, try your best la, your SPM results is so good, you can do it, no worry! Shit la.... don't bullshit me ok! Is me teaching, not you!

I want to fight again! Pray to God first before fight with you people! I believe justice is always there!

Big surprise!

Uncle Yong gave me a big surprise tonight!

Dui di dui di....!!!

Like usual, Tango rang up and the clock shown 10:10pm, where it is the time that we are going to have our oversea conversation. I was not feeling well tonite as I was still caught in flu and a bit blur~

In the mid of our conversation, Uncle Yong told me that he has asked his Dad to book the hotel or restaurant on next year for a big occasion! My eyes suddenly bling-ed! I BEG YOUR PARDON?! I never heard you mentioned before! I kept on asked him how could he made such a big decision without acknowledge me first....ha.....

Anyway, I am not angry but I felt touching and cared! he is not playing trick with me, he is serious with his words..... I don't know what to say at that moment, but only know laugh and laugh...cos I felt it is such a miracle that we can be into this progress.... This is all Glory To GOD, as HE is leading us all this way.... HE cares us so much! Thank you LORD!

Recall through 2011, I dragged him for 9 months but he never give up... I kept on asking the same problems about religious after we started the relationship for 2 months, but he never give up... I have been so childish for so many months, but he pampered me with patient.... Frank to say, I am afraid to lost him sometimes.... It is so unreal, since he is not besides me always... But he gave me the simple confidence and the faith... And the most important is, we have JESUS CHRIST between us. HE tied us tight and more tight. Without HIM, no idea where will us be apart, even face to face we are still strange with each other...

Full of grace for the year 2011...... Thank You LORD! And...............

Thanks for your companion throughout the year!

Adieu 2011, Aloha 2012!

Like the past few years, at this moment, is the time to recall, re-glance and rebuild...

How time flies! 2011 is going to end soon, is time to say goodbye to year 2011...Let's all unhappy, sad, or bad time away with the passing of time....What had I gained in this year!

Yea! I found my first love, the one who I admired in past 7 years... Thanks God for Your leading, bringing Uncle Yong into my life...

Much more simple then you and I

This is the first time I waiting at Kuching Airport for at least 6 hours.. Yea, I'm departing to Singapore, to meet Uncle Yong.. It's gonna be the very first time for us... May God bless us to have Holiness between us.. No worry for that as God is between us.. =)

I copied the Bible, started with the book 哈巴古书，followed by 那鸿，then 哥林多后书 and end with 弥加. Take my time to blog a while after finish copy the first book. Thanks God too as I found a plug to charge my phone, otherwise I gonna be so dry in the airport.. It's kinda cold here~ freeze........

Well, I eyes rolling around when it is cried for tiredness.. I found something so weird scenario. Children nowadays no longer hampered by their parents but by iPad! PS2! Yet, it grabbed the communication among the family.. I saw a parents swapping the iPhone screen but letting their children playing on their own. It's kinda unhealthy... Another family I saw the mom the only time she talk with her boy who is playing the PS is when they are going to leave the airport, but in the whole brunch, the mom didn't talk with the boy at all... Didn't they feel weird?!

Oh... Am I also going to have this kind of living style with my new family? No way! It reminded me to stay away from electronic instruments and never give the children any IT at their young age. Give them Jesus, give them Bible, give them love. What they need is utterly simple... Much more simple then you and I.... It's all about LOVE...

Love is easy to say, easy to spell yet it's hard to work out... Seems hard but the only way.. God love us, giving His only son Jesus Christ to us, just because He loves us, the sinful people.. Christmas season is springing...Let's not waiting for Santa Clause, but Jesus Christ in Bethlehem...

What a bad day again today...

I just back from Cambodia Mission Trip last nite but I made a big trouble today.. It is what a bad day for me again...

I plan to tidy up all the grasses behind the house, so, today I started to cangkul it. When I was going to finish the last part of the day, accidentally cangkul the pipe beneath the soil. I really don't know there is a pipe there... Rushed into the house to tell my Dad and I can expect his reflection. Just right with my expectation, he is very very very angry! He looked at the pipe and screaming at me...asked me to get away.... saying that I'm rubbish... nonsense... useless... go to hell... Alright I know it's my fault.. Patient with his hotness.. I never fight back, but he beat me, with broom, with towel, with his hand.. I'm 26 years old now and how old I was beaten by dad again... Ha... Funny.. Really funny............... I patient with him.. But he kept on saying the harsh words... I said something where he saying not to do, I do more, but I never shout at him.. As I know this is not liked by God.. as Uncle Yong reminded me...

I felt sad why my Dad is like so... He made me so sad and disappointed... I really don't want talk with him anymore after this incident... How am I going to remedy this? I cried as really don't know what else I can do... Mom is not at home and i can't expect how Mom will react...

What happen to me lately? I was summoned twice in last week and I think this is the most unlucky matter.. Who knows.. Much more at the back... Is God training my patience? Ya... This is the only answer... I should thanks God for giving me such incident as I can be trained to become more patience... Well, he is my Dad and we are still staying under one roof. Ha... No talking at all?! Ha... Impossible.......

Do not have hatred as God doesn't like it...

The 7th month!

Just finished chatting with Uncle Yong, and we just realized that, it is the 7th month for our relationship!..Whao...How time flies..Thanks God for bringing us for the past 6 months...

How great is our God....We feel so sweet while chatting even we are far apart...But wonder...we feel so close....God is between us...He brought us the joy, the grace and the happiness...Without Lord, everything is dull and empty...our topic is only about feeling and the recent only.....God is bringing us to the future...to commitment...and to marriage....

I am committed in the relationship with Uncle Yong and he is the one that I want to be with in the rest of my life....The one and the last.... No matter how will be for our future, we know God is leading and He is watching!... Walk in His pathway and never lost FAITH with Him...God will never let us down, no matter in any circumference....God, we summit our relationship to You once again....May God leads us all the way...

God, how thankful we are....May Glory To The Father In Heaven....

Holiday

Holiday is started, that's mean my second year of teaching is going to end soon!...And, I still left 32 years of teaching life to go.... wao...such a long time....but, I will not be alone, as God will be with me always.... I want to follow Him all the way...

Pastor called me to have a new lesson next year as to ready myself for missionary in future...I don't want...I am not brave enough to be someone who can stand on the stage to deliver God's message...So, now, I just like play hide and seek with pastor, don't want let him find me....Hope he will cancel his mind...

I just tidy half way of my room and I was so headache with my 30 pairs of new shoes.. I wonder how can I finish wearing all of the shoes... Wardrobe haven't clean yet... Bedsheet haven't change yet... Oh.......so many things to do.....

Typing until here, which line is about the work of God? How much time did I gave to God? Less and less....

I get my pengesahan

I get my pengesahan today....That's mean I am pencen-ed! But, no feeling at all with that word anymore...so what I am pencen. I am worry last time and so headache with pencen or kwsp... I can't be missionary anymore? I can't choose my own likes? No way.....This will continue till the end....

Who says I lost freedom... God gave me lots and lots... Why not take good care of what God giving me? I enjoy teaching...but I damn hate paper work... God is leading all the ways and remedy my heart! Thanks God!

Story of two

I was blogging while Uncle Yong is calling.. Then he is asking, why still want to blogging since talk lots with him already... Well, it's just story about myself before, but now it is story of two~..

Even after I'm married, I'll still blogging, blog out the marriage life, the parental life, the child life, the family life and the life with God... Without God, what's life means? It means dull, it means despair...

With the endless love from God, then we are able to love people around more and more! Practice it in your relationship now!

I just miss him

Uncle Yong is coming home next week.. I just can't wait for the time to come... Day by day, he attracted me more and more... I'm fall in love with him.. Is this called loving someone?

I love the moment when we share.. Sharing our life, our view and have the same target for our future... He is my first love and I wish he will be the last one... Indeed..

Well, all of these have to be guided by God. we can't do anything without HIS wonderful blessing.. We want to practice HIS love in our relationship, wish to practice in marriage as well in future and at the same time, to people around, no matter now or future...

Afraid of distance relationship? No no no... There is nothing to afraid with FAITH in GOD... Tell God what you need! If you need more patient, pray to Him...when you need more listening, pray to Him... We usually pray before go to bed.. Ha... Sometimes will forget too... Have to remind ourselves always...

Steve Jobs was dead on 5th of October. But he left behind a great creation with wisdom from God, the Apple...Well, thanks God for bringing Apple for us, as now, it is the main contact instrument among us...We talk for at least one hour everyday....and.....it is free! LOL....Viber, Tango, Line, Whatapps....all are free...I have been presented the iPhone from a friend, such miracle as I never receive such an expensive present before....It is a present from God...Thank you..

God, thanks for bringing Uncle Yong to me... May our relationship glorify Your name!

A shocking news

Heard a shocking news on last few days....I don't agree with her view...

She is pregnant, even she is going to get married....She says she has to test him first whether he is ok or not....if cannot, then why still proceed to marriage? Well, I don't agree with her view....Sexual relationship is ON only in marriage! This is saying in Bible! Stand firm with God's words...

Don't afraid with no babies after marriage... God is faithful...Pray with Him for the babies....He will gave the babies at the right time... Keep on praying! Actually, she is pitiful too as the environment influenced her most....she saw lots of friends around or relatives couldn't pregnant after marriage and end with divorce in the last...she doesn't want this to be her sad story....So, she purposely want to pregnant...Gal, I hope you can cope with this....

Thanks God, when I share with Uncle Yong, he was surprised too...he does not agree with her view too where sex is only allowed after marriage... I was so thanks God for Him gave him to me...

I was fall in love with him now....I admit....Day by day, I miss him so much....lol....

I have been given the second chance...

Thanks GOD! You are so amazing! I want to glorify Your name!

Like what I said in last post, I was pencened! so suffer with that decision.......I down for 2 months ady....and know, God gave me the second chance to let me change...

I took a courage to call SPP in Kuching last two weeks...but now, maybe I will still stick to the same decision...pencen....

It is driving me crazy and I was so sien with it! Which one to choose? Am I greedy? Am I so silly sally? I am going to become crazy..........oh man! Lord, pls help me...I need You!

I don't like to do decision!

Foochow

Yesterday, when the students are doing their test, there is a teacher walk in and asking students to do a survey...A survey with a return RM10! Whiiii.......what scenario is this? Attract students with money? ha....even so, only 4 students raised up their hand to do the survey....

It is a survey about dialek talking at home...Our dialek is Foochow...Then the teacher asked the students, we as a Foochow lang, why not speak Foochow at home, why speak Mandarin or English with our family or friends? Lady, it is too autocratic la....It is our choice to speak any language or dialek at home.....I also speak Mandarin at home, with my parents and siblings, but I don't see any problems there....Well, I don't like to speak Foochow actually, thinking that it is quite rude sometimes, but, undeniably, it makes us more familiar when we are talking Foochow with friends or family around us......

I even thinking that, when I have children, I won't start to talk with them with Foochow, but Mandarin and English come first....More or less, Foochow will effect the children's mother tongue or pronunciation...When my children grown up, I will try to speak Foochow with them, or up to them to learn or not to learn...my parents don't either force me to speak Foochow...Thanks God for giving me such a free style parents....lol

So, never force, never sigh!