Curb my hand

I have been working for almost a year, and damn pity to admit that, kinda disappointed with myself....yea...the life here is too comfortable and no need me to worry about..and it's make me never worry about the usage of money....I didn't save much money in this year...Well, I have no housing loan or car loan, the only I owe is PTPTN...It ain't a big burden...but, how come I didn't save much money?

Well, I listed down all my usual expenses here...
For petrol, the biggest expenses, RM160 per month...
For mobile reload, RM60 per month...Oh...no 084 at home is a nightmare....
For entertainment,yamcha, movie...bla bla bla... RM100...
For shopping, RM100??RM200?? RM 300... this row.....always drove me crazy.....I know where is my problem now...

Shopping, I am not only doing outdoor, but I also do online shopping....Well, both coming together, the end of my purse....Can't really figure out when did I addicted to online shopping....There are only, maybe 1 out of 10 I was satisfied...but I still like to buy online...Cheap? is this the reason? newest pattern?? Yet, I didn't even wear it...as the quality is toooooooo bad......What for I still want to buy it?

My wardrobe is going to burst up...the hanger is going to drop....as it cannot affort to carry all my clothes and dresses.....It is kinda pity...I better stop my shopaholic nightmare..before it is too late....

My friend taught me a tactic, where she forced herself ONLY and ONLY spend RM500 per month, included expenses for her family...She is paying housing loan now, but she still can save up to RM10k....but, looking at me...I was still a zero less then her...

I have such an unspeakable horror inside now...Doubt...Am I really a good finance chamberlain?

Even I am ain't a good time chamberlain....online occupied most of my schedule....for what? just for crap...just for FB! Arrrrggggghhhhhhh................

I am a tomboy?!

Well, tonite, there are 2 friends saying that I am a tomboy...hahah...kinda funny on this description...But I like it....=)

Yea, I don't like make up, I seldom wear skirt (**not don't like), I am not the kind of meek...I laughed so loud, not the kind cover my mouth with my palm when I am laughing...I wear slipper when dating out, seldom high heel nowadays...T-shirt and short pants are my favorite now...Haha....yea, I should say I am a boyish gal...

They suggested me to do make up, wear skirt, and more girlish like dress....wear dress to go dating?! oh...that's not my style...I will feel weird and restrained...Then, it will smash everything in the dating...haha....isn't it self-defeating?!..LOLS...

I m just trying to be natural, the truest i....as i don't like pretending...so, every time, been laughed and teased by others.....Alright, it doesn't matter...don't bother about it....

Life should be simple, full with joy and cheers....=)

Melancholy....

Holiday just pasted...how sad we all can't force it back...It is gone under our consciousness.....

For the last week, I experienced Wednesday blue and Friday blue... I am going to have Monday blue tomorrow...kinda tired...Arrrgggghhhhhhhhh...........I am damn lazy, damn idle, damn indolent, damn slothful to back to reality.....Oh gosh....i shouldn't simply shut down myself easily....still a lot of work chasing me behind...like a tiger waiting for its prey....it's going to 'eat' me.....scary..=.=...

Actually there only one month left, some days more, for the actual teaching days.....then, it is exam weeks and the end of the teaching life in 2010....sure, 2011 is still head in front....

Bloggy, I had forsaken u for few weeks....Many things I wanna write it here.....yet, low motivation....sigh....

Qin, sober up!!! no time to waste anymore!!! Life isn't boring...it is in your hand for you to make it interesting.....There are still many things to do other then just online here......Don't in low pace anymore....

If there is a return back....

If there is a return back, how I wish I could change the situation now....It's out of control now....

I thought it is the end of the story once the good news been declared...but, no...not the end yet...

If there is a return back, I wish I will never meet with that person....Friendship is cracked, tears is rolling down...For what? Who knows the pity? when the wound will be remedied?

Please, let her go.....She is scarred!

Two parties are enough in a relationship....Third party is surplus...Dear friend, you knew this....just let them be....bless them and pray for them....

Do you really have FAITH in God?

It is a bit messy this morning....

I woke up late in this morning..I rushed out to open the gate, but what a coincidence, my friend called...After answered the phone call, I just left my mobile on the bonnet....and drove off my car...Gosh...I just left it there....After I arrived my friend's house, she is taking her time to ready and haven't come down yet...So, I rummaged my handbag in order to get my mobile to call her....I guess, if she is waiting me down stair, I will never realize I forgotten my mobile and it is showering by the rain now....

I stunned and told her to return back to find my mobile. I was almost cried out cos it is such a grief why I was so blur....But, all happen already, grief also mean nothing...All along the searching pathway, my heart was so up and down....afraid it was the corpse under the tires already..afraid that it was taken by someone else....Mind brimming with everything, but never with God...I didn't pray for it first....

What a great timing, at the T-junction around my house, I saw it!! I saw my mobile!! It was so pity there as the rain is killing it...It is half-lived...

Even just a small incident, but I have a great lesson from it....My friend asked me a question and made me dumb to answer it...Have you prayed to God for this incident? I answered, NO....Then, she continued, Do you really have faith in God? I stunned....。My faith is just like under covered by a layer of chiffon...seems clear, seems unclear also...And I thought I had the great faith...Yet, this question mangled it....that my faith is not entire...is still not sufficient...I will more rely on myself and asked myself what to do first rather then seeking His way....I know it is wrong as Bible tells us, He is an awesome and faithful God....But, i still haven't totally practice myself on it...

Everything seems good in this comfort zone, and myself is following to be brittle ...Everything is ready made, seldom need I to worry about...Even though I did pray, but did I really pray for it? or just a modus?

Always been late to prayer meeting, to fellowship, but never be late to school, to a date....Where did I place Father？ Even I was regret afterward, but, the same thing repeated in the following week...aiz...I need to practice myself to be punctual....

Father, can you hear me? Sorry, that I always forget You....always place you to infinity...Yet, You still love me...as much as I always encountered....I am sorry, Dear Father....

Work-to-do list

Holiday is started...I gonna have a great plan for it...otherwise, it will be gone with nothing....Time time...you are kinda lovely and scary...

Well well...first of all, i need to tidy up my darling room...Again, it returned back to her ugly face...messy and messy...oh dear, i m sorry to design you with all rubbish...And, the whole house now is kinda ugly too....is time to tidy up...

Exam papers is heaped on my table...I have to hold red pen in this holiday in order to see how is my performance within these few months...performance judged by students' results...Well, i just marked the weak class, history is repeating....drawing question mark is continue...sigh...my performance is still bad....

Time flies....I am going to SG for Christmas this year.. and I am kinda excited with that...Sure, the great plan need to be done first for a great memory...And Hong Kong in next year is waiting for us to plan too....Date others out for planning....

I need to brush up my English nowadays...it is going down the drain....since got time now, sure need to pile up my brain with English...how to do? reading newspaper, blogging...etc...

And gathering and movie are a must in holiday...so, wish to have a great gathering with friends and watch a great movie...

What else?