I dunno what do i want now

For the moment, i am still trapping myself in a box...me myself still don't want to come out...what a stubborn gal....hard...and feeling suffering...i really dunno what do i want for the moment....

Everything seems so good to me...But i din appreciate at all..Everything is such a blessing....but....i don't appreciate it....what a bitch...

Please..God, i was so suffering now....life seems so boring now...i don't want to be like that for the rest of my life.....everyday the same old days.....so boring...boring...and boring.....when can i get out from here? from the trap?

Am i really want to be like so for the rest of my life? where is my next destination? or this is the end?

The forth month in 2010

It's been the forth month that i became the genuine teacher...Stil, life is packed with school tasks, even weekends also the same...i have no shopping for a month already..breaking the record....In my hometown, the shopping bug is not that active...why? The shopping bug is hibernating for June's shopping in KL...I was so looking forward for it...

My friend asking me how did i feel about my students now? For sure, i prefer them more than before...If not, teaching is a suffering stuff for me...i don't wanna be in such a hell....I figured out that, teacher has to be good in debate, debate with students and win them...Then, they will respect you a little little only...even just a little, it is good too....Otherwise, when they climbing up high there, you no longer can pull them down already...

Students are very emotional...it just like playing psychological warfare with them. They hardly can be prognoses. Ok...fine, i want to fool you back...change my pattern everyday...make you grasp the minds vain...hiak..hiak hiak...

The government are probing teachers' working tasks...Memorandum have been hand in for transformation. But when will it be? After n years, or after a century....

Do you believe?

Today's sermon preaching about this three words: Do you believe?
Believe in what? believe in yourself or believe in Jesus?
What a reminder to me....indeed, i was asking this question quite a frequent lately...
Frankly speaking, my faith is fading since back...mean, it is been a long time already...I was just like walking corpses...I dunno what is God's purpose for putting me here...I started to question, is that's all for my life?

Just by faith, not by sight...Until today, i still haven't entirely practice it or get use with it...Even i pray, but i m not fully entrusted...the sovereignty still in my hand, i am afraid when something is not in my control....

Pastor preaching that, let it go...don't truss up yourself...All you need to do is just a simple trust...He is a risen God, and He gave us promises that He will give the eternal love to us, from now to forever...you need not pay anymore, He had paid for us...

Last week, our Pastor Xie came back from Singapore training for mission. He shared with us how is he undergone the bitterly painful path while in Singapore..For sure, finance is the most huge problem. However, he learn one most important thing, even life ain't the adorable one, you still have to trough life actively and keep praying, praying and praying...God will guide you all the way...unexpectedly...

These two sermons was a great advice to me...I should not feeling pity with myself anymore...Do i really pray hard? or i just grumble when things coming up is out of expectation....just think about it...

Waiting with patient...with faith...

Toy from trash

"Ah jie....." I heard my brother calling me...with flying voice.. he must has something to ask for...
"Yes?", I replied..
"Ah jie, can you help me to do something with recyclable material?" he asking with shimmering eyes...
As I expected, he always speak in flying voice when he needs my help...cheh, realistic boy...lol

What a huge project to me...i have no idea of what thing to do....I searched online, nothing i get...My brother kept on reminds me everyday to complete this suck...He is such a lucky boy to have this sister....
Just yesterday, the last day before due date, i surfed again online to get some ideas....When i came to Youtube, what a great, I found this idea, Can aircraft...Phewit...I was so excited to start...

I get everything ready, the can, the scissors, rulers, super glue.....bla bla bla...And you know, while i am processing this thing, my brother is just sitting aside, watching me, laughing me....bad boy....huh....

For the very first step, i cut the aluminum can into pieces...It is damn hard to cut it...finally, got it...

Then, coil and staple it to make the body...

Then, combine them to make the body...

Then, proceed to make the wings, follow any pattern as I like...i just cut it into simple shape...
After everything is completed, glue them up...

Here it is....the toy from trash, a can aircraft....=)