Final decision

At last, i have made up my final decision. It had bugged me for a month and i was tired with it...really...stay or leave, it is not what i asking now, but want or not, is my question now. I have been offered a temporary post at a secondary school, yet, thinking of reject it, as i prefer the another school. hmm... I always hesitate in making decision, quite wired with myself too sometimes, even i went shopping, i will stand in front of a pair of shoes or a dress, or a bag for half an hour or longer time just to decide to buy or not...oh, what a lousy gal....haha

Always heard that 'if you have a dream, run for your dream, young man... with gut, nothing to be afraid! Oh ya, really?! i was defeated by reality. Reality is cruel, no deny. I need to consider a lot parts, not only myself...I had made up my mind to stay at my hometown, even i still paying a high wish to go working at other place...the chief reason that i stay here is i don't know where i will get my posting, maybe i will not get the offer to my hometown, so, this is the only moment i can stay with my family...and, another reason is financial. No money, no talk, can't escape from the cycle...

I am putting myself right now, from revolt to comply. I told myself if something is a fact, then why still take unnecessary pains on it? It is not the end of the world even the final decision ain't your wish, but life still goes on, with joy, not with melancholy...I nearly forgot my real personality... yea, it is not the end of the world!! Life still goes on....hmm....=)

phew...i tried hard to keep fit, but until today, looks like nothing change...I jog for 30-40 minutes everyday...sob sob, still nothing different....NO WAY!! Never give up! If failed again this time, i will never lose weight anymore....Every one, please, scold me if i gave up!!
Sometimes, while i was jogging, i wish to see some handsome guys (everyone likes to see beautiful things right?!), but, what la, only uncles, aunties around me or couples, hardly i can find a target...And i found out that, there are less and less young men in my hometown...is that reflects that i will be single forever? Oh NO!!!!! *o*

p/s: finally May came to the last day, wish to have a good starting tomorrow, the first day of June...It's Gawai holiday tomorrow, Happy Holidays!

Dim Sum

I like to eat dim sum, really...there is an indescribable feeling while eating dim sum...

I went to this dim sum restaurant during our last Ipoh trip. This is an famous old shop to eat dim sum. Recommended to go if you have chance to have a visit to Ipoh, but, must go early in the morning o, otherwise you will have to wait in long que...
Pictures draw hundred words, no chatter, let's look at the pictures taken during i enjoying my favourites....

My fancy, egg tarts...

Rating: ***

oh, i love this one very much, there are three big and fresh prawns inside!
See the prawns inside
Rating: *****

This one is really tasty and delicious..One mouth in, full with prawns...
Rating: *****

This is zhu chang feng, hmm...for me, it is nothing special, but my friends like it very much...
Rating: **

Oh, frenzied with this one, like an ordinary pao is it, but it is really nice. The soft sack with the filling inside, perfect combination!
Rating: *****


This one is tasty as well. The sack is made by fish meat. Tasty with the filling inside...I like it very much too...
Rating: ****

Here is the place we go, Restoran Foh San.

Filial

How long i can stay besides my parents? how long i can be their daughter? how long????? There is no answers for these questions...

Lately, some questions bugging me for quite a moment...i hardly can make decision as reality is contrast with dream...it is not as beautiful, as smooth as what you want....need to consider lots things...

Really, standing at the crossway, i don't know where is my way...Just yesterday, when i decided to make that decision, Lord gave me another way out...The date have been postponed and i have more time to reconsider...Lord, thanks for let me hear You...Thanks for always by my side...

I should not be selfish, always myself only...

Update with the interview..

Alright, i am still available for the moment and i still not yet get any post for the moment. Hmm...for the interview, first of all, the teacher, or PKI, don't know, she asked me to say something to convince her to take me as teacher. Ok, so i start to say that i am not experienced in teaching, neither primary nor secondary, even i did my practical for four months. So, i would like to take this opportunity to gain my experience before i become the permenant teacher. Hmm...while i was talking, my OS sounding as so:'' i just want to have a job for this few months before i get the real posting." Am i hypocrite? Hmm....

Then, she asked me to teach ICT and PM. PM no problems to me, but but, ICT is a big problem. She asked me to try... How to try, as i didn't learn it either in secondary or university. If you want me to teach something that I didn't learn at all, i will die o....And it is unfair to the students. I am zero in this subject, how can i stand firm in front of the students? Therefore, i rejected her. Same case happen to my friends who went to the same interview same as me. But, finally, have to say that the school is lucky. There came a gal who is really majoring in ICT. So, she got the job.

Until today, there is another school which phoned me on last Monday. It's guru ganti which have been rejected by my friends....haha...so funny....Even though i accepted, i will reject if i got any guru sandaran...Hey, guru ganti and guru sandaran are different, guru ganti works for two months only, but guru sandaran works for 3 months at least....

So, for the moment, i am still a vagrant..sob sob...

The endless waiting..

Tomorrow i will go for the first interview for temporary teacher in a school, which i was not expecting...I just simply fill in the application form and the empty form even borrowed from my friend at the last moment. And, i don't even paste any single photo on it...Weird, that i get the call for the interview tomorrow.

How is my feeling now? My friend said that i am steady, not worry so much. How to say, Maybe i have less interest to teach in my hometown 0r in that school, so i am not worry about whether i will get it or not. Even i didn't get it in that school, i still can wait for the other school...No point to worry about...

And now, i was quite bored with my life now...days like a pile of white sheets, nothing special....the only moment that i will contact with the public is during my jogging time...what...are you a gal-in-house now?! oh man...i never think that my life will turn to this....

I even try to find some office gals, but what did they told me?! university student? We are not able to hire you or offer you high salary. Some even saying with tease, you said you now waiting for posting, so you simply find a job for these few months?! Even i told them i don't mind about the salary, they still don't even consider about me...Is that true graduate = unemployed?!

Temporary teacher?! When can i get it?! We can't do anything now unless waiting for this job...The endless waiting...

p/s: don't worry about me, i am fine now, i am just not mince with my words to express my feeling for the moment....just be candid while writing my blog. See the next update, see what will happen in tomorrow's interview...to be continued.....=)

Life lately

Back to home for a week. What i done, hehe....sleeping, watch drama, jogging, hand in the form to school for temporary teacher....Quite sien to do the same old things everyday, especially hand in the form, same questions and same answers to and from....

However, i enjoy the life now...still remember that i was quite rebellious when i was back to home, even quarrel with Mom and Dad for let me back to Penang...But now, i totally dispelled this thought. Went to a friend's Mom funeral yesterday, it is really upset to see the situation..She said she still can't accept her Mom's death...All happen too fast....She can't even enjoy the last moment with her Mom. She advised us, treasure your parents every moment, never let yourself regret after they are no longer there...Why i never stand on my parents' side to think about their situation? i was so selfish that i wish i could try my luck somewhere...i just self-centered and never think about them...Dad almost 60 and Mom nearly 52. They are old now....Like what the Bible said, you must show filial obedience to your parents, for every disciple.

Another thing, brother reminded me that as i need to earn money for my convo, so, i better stay here to save more money for the convocation. .hmm....

Well well, my daily prayer now are pray for my parents' health and relationship between my parents and i (have crack after the quarrel =(.... ), my job here and pray for my partner....Opps....

I am doing well now.........even life is simple and dull...but at least i am with my family....

May blue...

Again, i really don't like May...This is the month i need to do a lot decision...Just like last few years, i need to find temporarily job, but always zero...Now, i need to be serious, it is regarding my future. I am standing at the T junction, wondering where should i go....should i stay or should i back to Penang to find my carrier?

Mom and Dad insisted me to stay at home, but i don't wish to do so, i just wish to gain experience outside, in other place, easy, not complicated, why think so narrow?! i wondering...i thought they will support me, but NOT AT ALL....i was so upset now....nobody support me!!!!!

Tried to talk nicely with them, but ended up with quarrel...Why it became like that?

We are the reason

Like this song quite much recently, share with you all....

Artist(Band):Avalon
As little children we would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

*We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
All because of love
All because of love

*Chorus

I finally found the reason for living
It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him (every part to Him)
And all that I do every word that I say (you know I’ll be saying)
I’ll be giving my all just for Him, for Him (every thing for Him)

We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give (all that he could give all)
To show us the reason to live

#He is the reason to live
(don’t you know do you know the reason
that he came, oh he came to save us
when he gave his life for us) he suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave everything (everything that He had He gave)
To show us the reason to live

p/s: here to view more, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrPAZbD6fG0&feature=related

Expecially to you ^^

well well... i would like to write this post especially to a friend, a blur and kind-hearted friend. I got to know her just after I came to USM. She is indeed a good, happy-go-lucky, charm and gorgeous gal...Her smile, haha.... indeed attractive....^^...oh....fonded to her..=P...and just this semester, due to practical, she moved to our home and we became housemates.

Still remember that, when we knew that we get a school at Georgetown, we stunned and quite vexed with the transport. We have no idea of how to go to school...yet, how miracle the Lord plan everything for us....We have kind-hearted teachers who are staying at our apartment and nearby our appartment, they are so kind to offer to pick us....

But, sometimes, we need to back by rapid penang...It is indeed tired of waiting for the bus...some students even teasing us, asking that teacher don't have car meh? You thought we don't want to have car? it is a burden to have a car...Like what i said always, we are still students...When T304 came, our eyes 'shimmering'...sob sob..finally we can go home...

In the bus, both of us were very tired...sometimes we didn't have any seat to sit..Think about it, after teaching whole day, the foots sure cry for rest, but sometimes, we can't let them to rest....poor legs...When we get the seats, drowsiness haunted us...yea...the seat in the bus is our temporary 'bed'. We slept by ignore others' sight...ya, i know, it is weird to see teacher sleeping in the bus, but really tired you know...

After arrived, we will walk through a small alley. Always, we told each other, how thanks you are here...otherwise, it's really a great suffer....ya, gal, how great you are by my side for these four months...

From her, i learn of how to be slow and steady...She always work slow, but, tidy and good works in turn...i used to be the one who want to be fast, fast and fast. But, always felt tired. Even though it is limited time, she still firm and gives me confident, that, don't worry, everything will be fine...i felt at ease every time..She always persuades me to be positive thinker, don't be narrow in making decision...Every time after discussed with her, i got the idea of what to do next...

Always, we burn the midnight oil during practical...Late at night, only two of us writing the lesson plan, preparing the teaching aids, but, thanks you are there accompanying me... We always asking each other, why only two of us always alert during this time? hmm.....At last, we still don't have the answer for the question...

I am thankful, she is besides me during the practical...She always been bullied by me. Sometimes that is not her fault, she apologizes to me too, just to make me happy...sometimes, i asked her to carry things for me, she is willing to do so....Thanks gal, for your helps..

Ya, she is my friend and angle from God, Belle....Glad to meed you...^^...Wish you all the best in your future~~

Have the photos during L34's trip to Ipoh....

Qin: Belle, are you dare to jump?
Belle: you jump.....i jump.......

Qin: Haha...I am a coward..........
Belle: Haha...then, don't jump la..

Where to go?

Again, the dark May came...always, 4 years dy, i still don't like May. This is the month that i need to do a lot of decisions.

Now, i have to make a decision, for my future...STAY OR NOT STAY, was quite bothering me now...my every decision, dad always consider wrong...Am i that useless? Am i that pampered? can't make my own decision? I tried to be rebellious, but, reality is cruel....I confess, i will definitely regret with my decision once i back to my hometown...

where to go? i was quite trembling now...can i hear YOUR voice?