Today...........

It's what a busy day today..but indeed ample..

I had a LDP this morning...It is quite boring.....yea...almost fall asleep....finally it is time to back home at 1pm..Well,guess it is my napping time at 2pm...

However, a rang pulled me up from my bed..oh..i have to go to church...We had an inter flow with BC Sunday School on how to improve ourselves for BM Sunday School...Well, they are so creative in designing the teaching aids...using the most simplest way to transmit the knowledge to the kids...Shame on me,i always ready the lesson on the spot and making everything messy. Its such a good experience to interchange the ideas..We learn a lots..

Serve in Lord, fruitful and joyful..=)

p/s: blogging while having a banquet at hotel..it's so boring here...all uncles and aunties..no handsome boys...LoLS..

Volcano...

It's Friday today!! My favorite day!! Well, it is bonus link member day as well...and is time for shopping queen to grab the likes home...it's a long time i didn't buy any attires at the shopping center. I bought all together 7 pieces home and kinda welcome to the new arrival to my wardrobe...well, my wardrobe is going to burst...haha...It suppose to be a happy nite, as I can go to fellowship, to listen to God's preaching...

well...........sigh.........

Today is the day that I will never forget, a day marked the change of the history of our family...

Just a small kidding made the volcano erupted....Tonight, whole of our family sit there and talk about it....Two of my brothers fight against each other, just because of small matter, just because of a joke....Mom is so desperate and angry....She is kind of despair with us, as non of us is listen to her, but, against and against only.....

Talk, talk with sincere, talk what do you like or don't like...tell us your borderline...Brother is hot and he is cried.....He cried, because no one is sided him, no one bother about his feeling, but only protect and sided to the younger brother...This kind of feeling, been denied by other, especially our beloved one, is torturing...This is the first time I saw he cried because of this matter, he buried his sigh feeling in the bottom of his heart...no one know about his truest feeling....yea....he is kind of sad and sigh tonite....

I cried too....as something that I did during our childhood time, was left a black shadow inside him...my bad...I never knew that he has such an unhappy childhood time....I m feeling sorry to him and apologized to him...

I wonder, will it be a crack between us each other, my parents and us....but, I know, everything is burst and we talk nicely.....we never have such conversation before, always ended with quarrels and quarrels....This is the very first time we talk about our feeling....Mom is willing to listen, but Dad still need lots and lots room to improve...He is quite impatient...ha...

God, thanks for giving us this opportunity to us, to burst out...to shout...to cry....We need it, and You knew when is the best timing to let everything happen...Thanks Lord, I pray, for Your LOVE to befall on us...No matter how worst the situation is, thanks Lord, You still gave us a breath, gave us life, gave us a chance to cry....

Lord, there are lots of natural disaster occurred lately…the dual disasters in Indonesia, a 7.7 magnitude triggered the tsunami on Monday grabbed 430 life and Mount Merapi erupted on last Tuesday..The people and the country are struggling as the death poll still on a rise…Everyday, there is at least a person evaporated from the earth…We don’t when will be our turn or our day, but we must know, it is a grace, for us still have a breath until today….Thanks God…

Lord, now I come to You..

Lord, I am tired now....I want to utter everything to You....I pray and You know everything about me....Since the earliest of this year, You told me true love waits....I obey to you and reject a guy who is not really my liking as well....Lord, I still need more voices from You, as I dunno what is my decision now and dunno what should I do.....

I have many things to say to someone, but I can't say it out...because the situation now is not allowed....kind of weird with myself now...doubt with what I want, doubt with what I really want....Apart, makes us never feel close at any moment....、

Lord, I am tired now.....I want to quit from this circle...tiring and exhausted...Can I hear Your voice and get the wisdom from You? Recharge from melancholy...

Lord, people around made me felt sigh....Promise is not to keep but to break?! Don't promise if you can't make it...Don't ever think to be over self protected.....That day Jesus reminded me with this scripture, [Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life] Proverb 4:23. I must stand firm under Jesus...Never hurt other for own sake...

Online shopping

Online shopping is one of my hobby nowadays...well, I am kind of enjoy it....There are bundle of reason why I like it....By clicking on the mousie, I am able to view and surf million, even trillion of choices of the clothes, bags...and other items available on the website....if shopping outside, sure non of us are able to glance at all the items, or compare between shop and shop....

Sure, choices are widely available, but not quality guaranteed...Some bought items are totally different from what had viewed online, the color perspective, the length, the cloth's quality, had ever once made me wanna stop to take further stroll in online shopping anymore...despair did shout for quit....haha....anyway, I still stick with it now.....

Online shopping is kind of fun...What it most attracted me I don't have to deal with for the items face to face...Even I decided not to buy it the last, I don't have to see their frustrated face too....Sometimes, I will not really know who is the dealer unless one day we came out to meet to collect the items....Well, I have few experiences where the dealer are my students....haha....kind of surprised when met with them....Oh....teacher....it's you....haha....LOLs.......Well, is it now you think that I was so supportive to this kind of hobby? Not really...So far, I only have countable items which I am really satisfied with.....Some are really bad in the quality and price have no much different....sigh.....But most recommended to buy online is the purse, handbag and jewelery. I had never bought a pair of shoes online....

Well, I have a bad experience now...There is a dealer where gave the annoyed replies and really made me disappointed with............hmm....him or her??...So far, all the dealer I met are gals.....It doesn't mean that, I asked mean I place the order..No final confirmation with you, how could you place my request? Please, make it clear first, it is a request, not an order....

Anyway, this kind of experience reminded me don't simply ask or request for something, that I am just have a sudden interest.....Place an order when I am final concluded.....=)

I have a Dad who don't know respect privacy

Something happen today that really made me think that, my Dad still the same as before..he always think that he is always right never admit his mistakes....So what you are my Dad?! It doesn't mean that you can disturb my privacy.....control everything.....

Don't disturb my privacy, this is my borderline....you are penetrating something that's always good, Now, I was so frustrated with what Dad you had done...I wish to talk nicely with you, but sigh....you never think that u have done a mistake...

Dad, could you please give us a room? Even just a small space, a space that's belong to ours only...Don't ever think that you are always right...So what you are the master of the house...you still need to respect others....we are your children...you didn't give the minimum respect, how you expecting us to give you in return....

Dad, we all love you..yet, your ears seldom opened for us....

Ahhh.............frustrating........

Please give them a chance....

Well, it is October now...And, I had a long sigh for a week already....There are many things I want to grumble about.. I just dunno where to start from....

Am I doing the right decision? I was feeling bad now...a student was stopped from study after I sent her to see the principle...as she is always ponteng...sigh...nobody wants to give her a chance, even though she promised she will...please, she promised she WILL continue her study...do you still need to make a pardon? Why don't give her a chance....yea....I just simply want to give her a warning so sent her to meet our boss...but, everything is unexpected...she is leaving now...Gosh.....

I can only say, unfair and bias to the weak class...Well, once there is a piece of rubbish appeared on the floor, the whole class will be graded as the most dirtiest class....But, if the situation changed to good class, well, everyone will be blind...I am not commenting anyone...I just hope that, please give them a chance....just simply a chance for them to prove themselves....They did do all, sweep the floor, lap the window, line up the table, empty the dustbins, clean the blackboard....bla bla bla...What they done have no difference with the good class, but, why, they still graded as dirty class...Through out the whole year, they are just honored with the one and the only first runner up....sigh.......

So what they are weak in academic?! So what they are not brilliant?! This is not a sin....why treat them with unfair? They are apart of our school too....They have no problems, just a bit talkative...but, where got student that is not talkative, unless he or she is dumb...

Alright.....I just felt sigh....

My friend teased me that, I am not like a gal, even Mommy is scolding me to change a bit...I don't even do make up..Well, fellowship on last week which is about makeup had grabbed my interest to go deep on it..Hhaa....I asked quite a number of opinion, some said necessary, some said ain't...some said natural pretty is the everlasting one...well, in a nutshell, I still prefer natural looking, no makeup and no harm...just to be natural....well, I am not against it...still will do facial treatment....LOL...

How deep do you know yourself? Able to say that you know yourself very well? I am not dare to say so.....Wonder what is playing in my mind now...wonder about many things.....wonder what do I want actually....wonder about reality...wonder about myself......Wondering............................