Curb my hand

I have been working for almost a year, and damn pity to admit that, kinda disappointed with myself....yea...the life here is too comfortable and no need me to worry about..and it's make me never worry about the usage of money....I didn't save much money in this year...Well, I have no housing loan or car loan, the only I owe is PTPTN...It ain't a big burden...but, how come I didn't save much money?

Well, I listed down all my usual expenses here...
For petrol, the biggest expenses, RM160 per month...
For mobile reload, RM60 per month...Oh...no 084 at home is a nightmare....
For entertainment,yamcha, movie...bla bla bla... RM100...
For shopping, RM100??RM200?? RM 300... this row.....always drove me crazy.....I know where is my problem now...

Shopping, I am not only doing outdoor, but I also do online shopping....Well, both coming together, the end of my purse....Can't really figure out when did I addicted to online shopping....There are only, maybe 1 out of 10 I was satisfied...but I still like to buy online...Cheap? is this the reason? newest pattern?? Yet, I didn't even wear it...as the quality is toooooooo bad......What for I still want to buy it?

My wardrobe is going to burst up...the hanger is going to drop....as it cannot affort to carry all my clothes and dresses.....It is kinda pity...I better stop my shopaholic nightmare..before it is too late....

My friend taught me a tactic, where she forced herself ONLY and ONLY spend RM500 per month, included expenses for her family...She is paying housing loan now, but she still can save up to RM10k....but, looking at me...I was still a zero less then her...

I have such an unspeakable horror inside now...Doubt...Am I really a good finance chamberlain?

Even I am ain't a good time chamberlain....online occupied most of my schedule....for what? just for crap...just for FB! Arrrrggggghhhhhhh................

I am a tomboy?!

Well, tonite, there are 2 friends saying that I am a tomboy...hahah...kinda funny on this description...But I like it....=)

Yea, I don't like make up, I seldom wear skirt (**not don't like), I am not the kind of meek...I laughed so loud, not the kind cover my mouth with my palm when I am laughing...I wear slipper when dating out, seldom high heel nowadays...T-shirt and short pants are my favorite now...Haha....yea, I should say I am a boyish gal...

They suggested me to do make up, wear skirt, and more girlish like dress....wear dress to go dating?! oh...that's not my style...I will feel weird and restrained...Then, it will smash everything in the dating...haha....isn't it self-defeating?!..LOLS...

I m just trying to be natural, the truest i....as i don't like pretending...so, every time, been laughed and teased by others.....Alright, it doesn't matter...don't bother about it....

Life should be simple, full with joy and cheers....=)

Melancholy....

Holiday just pasted...how sad we all can't force it back...It is gone under our consciousness.....

For the last week, I experienced Wednesday blue and Friday blue... I am going to have Monday blue tomorrow...kinda tired...Arrrgggghhhhhhhhh...........I am damn lazy, damn idle, damn indolent, damn slothful to back to reality.....Oh gosh....i shouldn't simply shut down myself easily....still a lot of work chasing me behind...like a tiger waiting for its prey....it's going to 'eat' me.....scary..=.=...

Actually there only one month left, some days more, for the actual teaching days.....then, it is exam weeks and the end of the teaching life in 2010....sure, 2011 is still head in front....

Bloggy, I had forsaken u for few weeks....Many things I wanna write it here.....yet, low motivation....sigh....

Qin, sober up!!! no time to waste anymore!!! Life isn't boring...it is in your hand for you to make it interesting.....There are still many things to do other then just online here......Don't in low pace anymore....

If there is a return back....

If there is a return back, how I wish I could change the situation now....It's out of control now....

I thought it is the end of the story once the good news been declared...but, no...not the end yet...

If there is a return back, I wish I will never meet with that person....Friendship is cracked, tears is rolling down...For what? Who knows the pity? when the wound will be remedied?

Please, let her go.....She is scarred!

Two parties are enough in a relationship....Third party is surplus...Dear friend, you knew this....just let them be....bless them and pray for them....

Do you really have FAITH in God?

It is a bit messy this morning....

I woke up late in this morning..I rushed out to open the gate, but what a coincidence, my friend called...After answered the phone call, I just left my mobile on the bonnet....and drove off my car...Gosh...I just left it there....After I arrived my friend's house, she is taking her time to ready and haven't come down yet...So, I rummaged my handbag in order to get my mobile to call her....I guess, if she is waiting me down stair, I will never realize I forgotten my mobile and it is showering by the rain now....

I stunned and told her to return back to find my mobile. I was almost cried out cos it is such a grief why I was so blur....But, all happen already, grief also mean nothing...All along the searching pathway, my heart was so up and down....afraid it was the corpse under the tires already..afraid that it was taken by someone else....Mind brimming with everything, but never with God...I didn't pray for it first....

What a great timing, at the T-junction around my house, I saw it!! I saw my mobile!! It was so pity there as the rain is killing it...It is half-lived...

Even just a small incident, but I have a great lesson from it....My friend asked me a question and made me dumb to answer it...Have you prayed to God for this incident? I answered, NO....Then, she continued, Do you really have faith in God? I stunned....。My faith is just like under covered by a layer of chiffon...seems clear, seems unclear also...And I thought I had the great faith...Yet, this question mangled it....that my faith is not entire...is still not sufficient...I will more rely on myself and asked myself what to do first rather then seeking His way....I know it is wrong as Bible tells us, He is an awesome and faithful God....But, i still haven't totally practice myself on it...

Everything seems good in this comfort zone, and myself is following to be brittle ...Everything is ready made, seldom need I to worry about...Even though I did pray, but did I really pray for it? or just a modus?

Always been late to prayer meeting, to fellowship, but never be late to school, to a date....Where did I place Father？ Even I was regret afterward, but, the same thing repeated in the following week...aiz...I need to practice myself to be punctual....

Father, can you hear me? Sorry, that I always forget You....always place you to infinity...Yet, You still love me...as much as I always encountered....I am sorry, Dear Father....

Work-to-do list

Holiday is started...I gonna have a great plan for it...otherwise, it will be gone with nothing....Time time...you are kinda lovely and scary...

Well well...first of all, i need to tidy up my darling room...Again, it returned back to her ugly face...messy and messy...oh dear, i m sorry to design you with all rubbish...And, the whole house now is kinda ugly too....is time to tidy up...

Exam papers is heaped on my table...I have to hold red pen in this holiday in order to see how is my performance within these few months...performance judged by students' results...Well, i just marked the weak class, history is repeating....drawing question mark is continue...sigh...my performance is still bad....

Time flies....I am going to SG for Christmas this year.. and I am kinda excited with that...Sure, the great plan need to be done first for a great memory...And Hong Kong in next year is waiting for us to plan too....Date others out for planning....

I need to brush up my English nowadays...it is going down the drain....since got time now, sure need to pile up my brain with English...how to do? reading newspaper, blogging...etc...

And gathering and movie are a must in holiday...so, wish to have a great gathering with friends and watch a great movie...

What else?

Tears

Love, makes us feel so sweet...Everything seems good when we have someone besides...but sigh,
Love, makes us feel so suffer as well...Gloomy...Only companion of tears when there is no longer someone besides..

There is no wrong to cry....just cry...as loud as you want.....It needs time to go through all of these...Don't pretend yourself as you are sad now....No use to be a crown...and I don't know that my words keep playing in your mind...You laugh, as you don't want people around to worry about you...You eat, as you don't want people sense that you are unhappy...Gal, it's tired rite....

Rolling tears will wash over your grieved heart....We will be companions, however, in the last, you still need to go through by yourself....And God will always be with you...

Great flood...

A non-stop rain spoiled the dream of all Sibu citizens...We guess, the flood no longer haunting us...But, the facts told us that, history still is playing...

Well...our dear gov, our dear top-notch heads...where are you all? Did you ever heard our scream? I grew up here and I am 25 years old now....But the history is still the same....FLOOD is still haunting us....25 years...it's 25 years already....you can't do anything in these numbers of years?!

you did nothing within these years! What you gave us only the plaster cloth road....good...we are riding everyday...you took away our green notes, but return us with bad drainage system...Why the flood don't come in the earliest of the year, then we all can see our PM walking in the flood and playing water with his body guard.....phewit...highlight of the year....

You said change the name, 诗巫 to 诗富...whao...富with what le? 富with water? we have lots.....really lots...how we can develop before we settle all these small matters first? drainage system is not a huge project.....can't settle in 25 years? It is really a great laugh and crap!! our gov is really a smart gov...give them a big clap!!!

Who's responsible for all of these?


We are on the ship now....



Car for sale? No no...car for repair...

Saturday morning

It's what a free Saturday...I need not alarm myself to wake up early, but woke up by the twitter of the birds...Oh, they told me, sun is risen....haha..what a lovely day today...Well, today is a brain off day....I want to take a break and full my hands with my favorite.　Well, i watched the testimony of Sammi Cheng on Good TV. She thoroughly utter how does she go through her depression, with the faith and love from JESUS, how awesome is our God. Our God is an awesome and faithful God. He knows what is the best for us. His timing is never wrong. Even we forsake Him, pretended that we don't know him, hide ourselves from Him. But He is everywhere, no matter how we ran away from Him, He will never forsake us...And He will find us finally..

Sammi Cheng did a very good testimony to the world.. Money, prettiness, fame and wealth cannot fulfill our desires...but it will eat us...silently, and lead us to the end of the world...only LOVE from Jesus can fulfill our spirits...When we are tired, He always be our refuge...our hiding place...every rumor, teasing, despair, been thrown unto Him...He is like an empty stomach, never bored with our grumbles, never angry with us, but still loves us with unconditional love....Thanks you Jesus, for loves us so much...

Hmm....again, teachers in the school, talking about our partners again...they are so surprised that we are still single....bla bla bla......oh man, what so surprised...single ma single la....not a big deal...it is not the end of the world...Single is not a sin k....Anyway, thanks for the concern....we know they care about us...They said, I was fussy in choosing partner...well, you guess wrong...I ain't...what a gal want, is the one and the last...the one who is suitable forever....is FOREVER!! Marriage is holy, is blessed by God...sure need to find the suitable one....

God, Your timing is never wrong...You know who is the best for us....slow down and listen to Your voice...I believe in You...

Ups and downs....

Bloggy, I have something to tell you...We are going to Hong Kong in coming year 2011!

Its what an up and down nite...I fooled myself a great joke tonight....Friends asking me, why I am so confirmed with the holidays next year? Well, I told them I googled that holidays is available for the date we go HK.....But, I wonder again...so, after back home, I checked through again...oh gosh!! I just realized that the calendar that I was so confirmed was 2010...It was history already....Man...i dunno how to tell other friends, cos some just booked the ticket this afternoon, right after I told them....My limbs turn so cold... giggling....no appetite to eat...I was so guilty, for making such troubles...I made the bad planning, re-book...

However, a friend called and confirmed that, there is holidays for that period....I was so high!!! The trip is on!! How up and down.....can't control myself to scream...haha....Luckily she is not as blur as me....Thanks Chew...=)

It was quite dramatic....From the very first, there are only two of us, Carol and I decided to go...We also very worry at that time, worry about the staying place, worry about the transport, worry about the safety...but now, we have 8 people going together...How thanks and how glad to have this vacation group...And maybe there are 2 people going to join us....lol!!

I should change a bit...cannot be that blur anymore....I booked that ticket, when i m not confirm the date yet...how careless I was...but anyway, thanks God, You are so lovely, for giving all of these...I am so blessed!

Hong Kong, we are coming in 2011!! =)

p/s: Newest update: 10 people confirmed to go!!

Crap

waiting for mom in the school now..i just finished a meeting for a while..mind,spirit,eyes,foots..all crying for a rest...school works are bored.. Going to swim today with frens..well..been farewelled with swimming for a long time..

Starting of the journey...

Today, marked the starting point...
It might be a long way to go...really...
Other things can be excused...
Handbags, shoes, shirts, foods, cheese cakes ...-.-...all can be excused....
But, the precious moment cannot be excused....
I admired it and been clinged by it for a long time...
Save the money...start from now...

One day in future, I wish to own you~~

NIKON D90...=)

Life still going on...

How time flies...it is the 8th month in year 2010....2010 is coming to the 2nd half end....Well, life still going on....and I love this sentence...life still going on..

Well well....I have been moved to my new house in last two weeks...I m still adapting with the new long distance to my school...How to say, i felt so sickening driving here...just like car racing every morning..And, why people always keep to the right?? Don't they know that, 'ikut kiri jika tidak memotong'? The board is standing there, big enough to see...Most headache one is the cars both at the left and right, driving at the same speed...oh..i really want to ram into the either one....yea....I should go out earlier next time....

Dealing with my darling room, well it is most arranged now, and i am grabbing my time, step by step to tidy it...I m still not satisfied with it...some corner still messy....just let it be la, I need to ready my exam paper first...

My life is given by God, I always remind myself to be thank giving, with everything I had in lifet...yea...desire sometimes shout suddenly...and sometimes been overwhelmed by it...but, return to the point, you are much more blessed by other....Never feel being taken for granted...accept what is not counting by you...life is still going on...

My mind was congested with travel...I want to go travel...to oversea...where is my kaki le???

Glory to the Lord...

Thank you, Lord...other then that, still Thank you...

It was BM Sunday Services on last Sunday...And, we prepared kids singing performance. We have been ready them for a month. Still remember in the first day of practice, the kids are so hard to control, even we need to shout at them...Indeed, they are what we called hyperactive, both the limbs and the mouths...We need to entertain them with tit bits some more....haiz...just like pampering the babies....

Time flies....it's the real day of performance....We all get ready for the kids to come....But, it's 6:15am...only 4 to 5 kids there...We have the last plan where all the sunday school teachers join the singing...oh....how come?? Praying in our hearts, God, we believe in You, for Your wonderful guidance...It's 6:30am....we saw a crowd of kids coming.....We all smiled...Their smiles even more adorable...

See...the kids are so excited....

They are rehearsal for the performance, to give the best to Lord...They had done their very best in the last....acknowledged by the claps from below....=)

The closing of the day...Glory to the Lord...=)

Servants to the Lord....Happy Serving!~

2010 with them...

The first class photo been taken in the first year of my teaching life....In 2010, i am with them....4A3 and I...=)

Life with kids...

It's Maths time for 4A3...The students stood up and greeted me....Good Morning teacher....Sit down class...I replied...After placed all the monkeys on their chairs, we started the lesson...

There is a kid talking while I was teaching....I purposely raise up my voice, to warn him I am talking now....Oh...he stunned, and kept quiet...What he said later, made me can't withstand to burst out a laugh!!!

Teacher, have you ever watched Jurassic park? This fellow is teasing me that I am like a dinosaur....I can't help myself to stop laughing...All the students laughed at me....My cheek turns so red...Stopped the lesson for few seconds, finally calm myself to continue...

I am the form teacher for this class...At first, I was in great worry in how to handle them. Out of my expectation, they are lovable...at least, they respect me and give me face as their form teacher...They are not brilliant in academic, but, they are nice...dunno how to describe the feeling....=)....Until now, I am still willing to serve them...sure, there are black spots there also, which might make me upset with them, but, always forget it with the smile on their face....=)

No more delay

I just listed down my to-be-done list...what a shock, the tasks are chasing me....tests and workbooks to be marked, meeting's minute to be done, and bla bla bla....What a mess...I have to do all of this in a short while....suffocating....

There are some changes in students....Oh man, I need to change the name list again...Tiring works....Every time, when there are new students been placed in my class, I will make them clear first about my rules...To be here, OBEY!..And, don't know I have repeated for how many times until the students couldn't bear with me....hahaa.....they said I am so wordy...='(...

Nudged myself, ya..I am becoming lazier....In previous, I will stay in school to finish my works first, works the first place...then packed to go home...But now, I trained or urged myself to go back as early as I could...I want to go back to my darling room...Rolling on my king sized bed, cooling by the air-cond, it is so comfortable...

Finally, I have my own room in new house...my privacy room...What a damn i wished for it for a long long time...Now, i can stroll around every corner....to place my footsteps at every corner....my darling room...

But, big headache now...we just moved everything from the old house in last two days....It is damn tired...Mom and Dad intended to move the old things here, made the new house so packed and messy...I don't like it....Anyway, hope that it might change back to its new looks....

And, there is a corner in my darling room where I mostly don't want to approach....I felt pening looking at it....lol...But, that's are all my properties...No way to throw away...=P...K, make a promise with myself, DO IT ON COMING WEEKENDS, NEVER TWIST DARLING ROOM INTO RUBBISH ROOM....Hmm....that's mean I am sleeping with rubbish every nite?! OOpppss.....

Where should I place you all??

Life still going on....=)

Rotten apple

One day, I saw a reddish apple..My goodness, it looks so juicy and fresh...So, I grabbed it home...However, day by day, when I wanted to dine it, the first bite gave me such an 'unforgettable' taste. its all rotten inside!! whao...what a great different from its outlook. How thanks, I noticed it earlier. It looks nice, but with time flies, we are able to notice the truest face of something or even someone...

Are you the rotten apple?

They are many rotten apples in this realistic world. But, we are blind sometimes, been cheated by their pretty or sincere outlooks...At the same time, we also purposely cheat ourselves, persuade ourselves with thousands of excuses. Yet, the mask of the rotten will be peeled down piece by piece. The true face under the masks will be sunbathed and bringing a great stun. But, don't be upset, at least, you have a chance to meet with their true face.

God created so many apples...There must be good apples there..Always, someone will be waiting there, walking towards us and bringing us the good apples...Never upset with realistic...

My favourite

My favourite milk , Desa fresh milk...like it very much....

Stamina of a day, 100 plus!
Tit-bit of a day...

Digit doesn't mean everything

It's the 2nd parents and teachers' meeting... I got a great melancholy after the meeting....same words and same thing i talked in the past meeting...Indeed, it is really a great responsibility once we gave a birth to a child. We need to take the responsibility to teach them, to lead them, to guide them, to encourage them and to forgive them. Even they are failed, they are still our kids....We have to pardon them...with patience and endless love...

Digit doesn't mean anything....Characters talking in my philosophy....Even they are not excel in academic, it doesn't mean that they are a failure forever....But, it's useless in reality world...In reality, digits talking..the more digits u achieved, the more succeed u were...Digits had covered their characters. They also have self-respect, but who are going to hear their cries? their griefs?

As long as a person have a great character, I don't think that he or she might face failure forever...Wish to help them, but dunno where and how to start from....as they are not appreciating as well...

Gov is going to abolish public examination, yet it's still under discussion. I gave a great thumb up to this good news...Smiled with tears, finally they recognized this problem...Students nowadays are exam machine, they studied just for exam, for the cert....But, they wonder what is the aim in the end...I wish the day to come faster, to twist the world of education in Malaysia...