Today...........

It's what a busy day today..but indeed ample..

I had a LDP this morning...It is quite boring.....yea...almost fall asleep....finally it is time to back home at 1pm..Well,guess it is my napping time at 2pm...

However, a rang pulled me up from my bed..oh..i have to go to church...We had an inter flow with BC Sunday School on how to improve ourselves for BM Sunday School...Well, they are so creative in designing the teaching aids...using the most simplest way to transmit the knowledge to the kids...Shame on me,i always ready the lesson on the spot and making everything messy. Its such a good experience to interchange the ideas..We learn a lots..

Serve in Lord, fruitful and joyful..=)

p/s: blogging while having a banquet at hotel..it's so boring here...all uncles and aunties..no handsome boys...LoLS..

Volcano...

It's Friday today!! My favorite day!! Well, it is bonus link member day as well...and is time for shopping queen to grab the likes home...it's a long time i didn't buy any attires at the shopping center. I bought all together 7 pieces home and kinda welcome to the new arrival to my wardrobe...well, my wardrobe is going to burst...haha...It suppose to be a happy nite, as I can go to fellowship, to listen to God's preaching...

well...........sigh.........

Today is the day that I will never forget, a day marked the change of the history of our family...

Just a small kidding made the volcano erupted....Tonight, whole of our family sit there and talk about it....Two of my brothers fight against each other, just because of small matter, just because of a joke....Mom is so desperate and angry....She is kind of despair with us, as non of us is listen to her, but, against and against only.....

Talk, talk with sincere, talk what do you like or don't like...tell us your borderline...Brother is hot and he is cried.....He cried, because no one is sided him, no one bother about his feeling, but only protect and sided to the younger brother...This kind of feeling, been denied by other, especially our beloved one, is torturing...This is the first time I saw he cried because of this matter, he buried his sigh feeling in the bottom of his heart...no one know about his truest feeling....yea....he is kind of sad and sigh tonite....

I cried too....as something that I did during our childhood time, was left a black shadow inside him...my bad...I never knew that he has such an unhappy childhood time....I m feeling sorry to him and apologized to him...

I wonder, will it be a crack between us each other, my parents and us....but, I know, everything is burst and we talk nicely.....we never have such conversation before, always ended with quarrels and quarrels....This is the very first time we talk about our feeling....Mom is willing to listen, but Dad still need lots and lots room to improve...He is quite impatient...ha...

God, thanks for giving us this opportunity to us, to burst out...to shout...to cry....We need it, and You knew when is the best timing to let everything happen...Thanks Lord, I pray, for Your LOVE to befall on us...No matter how worst the situation is, thanks Lord, You still gave us a breath, gave us life, gave us a chance to cry....

Lord, there are lots of natural disaster occurred lately…the dual disasters in Indonesia, a 7.7 magnitude triggered the tsunami on Monday grabbed 430 life and Mount Merapi erupted on last Tuesday..The people and the country are struggling as the death poll still on a rise…Everyday, there is at least a person evaporated from the earth…We don’t when will be our turn or our day, but we must know, it is a grace, for us still have a breath until today….Thanks God…

Lord, now I come to You..

Lord, I am tired now....I want to utter everything to You....I pray and You know everything about me....Since the earliest of this year, You told me true love waits....I obey to you and reject a guy who is not really my liking as well....Lord, I still need more voices from You, as I dunno what is my decision now and dunno what should I do.....

I have many things to say to someone, but I can't say it out...because the situation now is not allowed....kind of weird with myself now...doubt with what I want, doubt with what I really want....Apart, makes us never feel close at any moment....、

Lord, I am tired now.....I want to quit from this circle...tiring and exhausted...Can I hear Your voice and get the wisdom from You? Recharge from melancholy...

Lord, people around made me felt sigh....Promise is not to keep but to break?! Don't promise if you can't make it...Don't ever think to be over self protected.....That day Jesus reminded me with this scripture, [Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life] Proverb 4:23. I must stand firm under Jesus...Never hurt other for own sake...

Online shopping

Online shopping is one of my hobby nowadays...well, I am kind of enjoy it....There are bundle of reason why I like it....By clicking on the mousie, I am able to view and surf million, even trillion of choices of the clothes, bags...and other items available on the website....if shopping outside, sure non of us are able to glance at all the items, or compare between shop and shop....

Sure, choices are widely available, but not quality guaranteed...Some bought items are totally different from what had viewed online, the color perspective, the length, the cloth's quality, had ever once made me wanna stop to take further stroll in online shopping anymore...despair did shout for quit....haha....anyway, I still stick with it now.....

Online shopping is kind of fun...What it most attracted me I don't have to deal with for the items face to face...Even I decided not to buy it the last, I don't have to see their frustrated face too....Sometimes, I will not really know who is the dealer unless one day we came out to meet to collect the items....Well, I have few experiences where the dealer are my students....haha....kind of surprised when met with them....Oh....teacher....it's you....haha....LOLs.......Well, is it now you think that I was so supportive to this kind of hobby? Not really...So far, I only have countable items which I am really satisfied with.....Some are really bad in the quality and price have no much different....sigh.....But most recommended to buy online is the purse, handbag and jewelery. I had never bought a pair of shoes online....

Well, I have a bad experience now...There is a dealer where gave the annoyed replies and really made me disappointed with............hmm....him or her??...So far, all the dealer I met are gals.....It doesn't mean that, I asked mean I place the order..No final confirmation with you, how could you place my request? Please, make it clear first, it is a request, not an order....

Anyway, this kind of experience reminded me don't simply ask or request for something, that I am just have a sudden interest.....Place an order when I am final concluded.....=)

I have a Dad who don't know respect privacy

Something happen today that really made me think that, my Dad still the same as before..he always think that he is always right never admit his mistakes....So what you are my Dad?! It doesn't mean that you can disturb my privacy.....control everything.....

Don't disturb my privacy, this is my borderline....you are penetrating something that's always good, Now, I was so frustrated with what Dad you had done...I wish to talk nicely with you, but sigh....you never think that u have done a mistake...

Dad, could you please give us a room? Even just a small space, a space that's belong to ours only...Don't ever think that you are always right...So what you are the master of the house...you still need to respect others....we are your children...you didn't give the minimum respect, how you expecting us to give you in return....

Dad, we all love you..yet, your ears seldom opened for us....

Ahhh.............frustrating........

Please give them a chance....

Well, it is October now...And, I had a long sigh for a week already....There are many things I want to grumble about.. I just dunno where to start from....

Am I doing the right decision? I was feeling bad now...a student was stopped from study after I sent her to see the principle...as she is always ponteng...sigh...nobody wants to give her a chance, even though she promised she will...please, she promised she WILL continue her study...do you still need to make a pardon? Why don't give her a chance....yea....I just simply want to give her a warning so sent her to meet our boss...but, everything is unexpected...she is leaving now...Gosh.....

I can only say, unfair and bias to the weak class...Well, once there is a piece of rubbish appeared on the floor, the whole class will be graded as the most dirtiest class....But, if the situation changed to good class, well, everyone will be blind...I am not commenting anyone...I just hope that, please give them a chance....just simply a chance for them to prove themselves....They did do all, sweep the floor, lap the window, line up the table, empty the dustbins, clean the blackboard....bla bla bla...What they done have no difference with the good class, but, why, they still graded as dirty class...Through out the whole year, they are just honored with the one and the only first runner up....sigh.......

So what they are weak in academic?! So what they are not brilliant?! This is not a sin....why treat them with unfair? They are apart of our school too....They have no problems, just a bit talkative...but, where got student that is not talkative, unless he or she is dumb...

Alright.....I just felt sigh....

My friend teased me that, I am not like a gal, even Mommy is scolding me to change a bit...I don't even do make up..Well, fellowship on last week which is about makeup had grabbed my interest to go deep on it..Hhaa....I asked quite a number of opinion, some said necessary, some said ain't...some said natural pretty is the everlasting one...well, in a nutshell, I still prefer natural looking, no makeup and no harm...just to be natural....well, I am not against it...still will do facial treatment....LOL...

How deep do you know yourself? Able to say that you know yourself very well? I am not dare to say so.....Wonder what is playing in my mind now...wonder about many things.....wonder what do I want actually....wonder about reality...wonder about myself......Wondering............................

Curb my hand

I have been working for almost a year, and damn pity to admit that, kinda disappointed with myself....yea...the life here is too comfortable and no need me to worry about..and it's make me never worry about the usage of money....I didn't save much money in this year...Well, I have no housing loan or car loan, the only I owe is PTPTN...It ain't a big burden...but, how come I didn't save much money?

Well, I listed down all my usual expenses here...
For petrol, the biggest expenses, RM160 per month...
For mobile reload, RM60 per month...Oh...no 084 at home is a nightmare....
For entertainment,yamcha, movie...bla bla bla... RM100...
For shopping, RM100??RM200?? RM 300... this row.....always drove me crazy.....I know where is my problem now...

Shopping, I am not only doing outdoor, but I also do online shopping....Well, both coming together, the end of my purse....Can't really figure out when did I addicted to online shopping....There are only, maybe 1 out of 10 I was satisfied...but I still like to buy online...Cheap? is this the reason? newest pattern?? Yet, I didn't even wear it...as the quality is toooooooo bad......What for I still want to buy it?

My wardrobe is going to burst up...the hanger is going to drop....as it cannot affort to carry all my clothes and dresses.....It is kinda pity...I better stop my shopaholic nightmare..before it is too late....

My friend taught me a tactic, where she forced herself ONLY and ONLY spend RM500 per month, included expenses for her family...She is paying housing loan now, but she still can save up to RM10k....but, looking at me...I was still a zero less then her...

I have such an unspeakable horror inside now...Doubt...Am I really a good finance chamberlain?

Even I am ain't a good time chamberlain....online occupied most of my schedule....for what? just for crap...just for FB! Arrrrggggghhhhhhh................

I am a tomboy?!

Well, tonite, there are 2 friends saying that I am a tomboy...hahah...kinda funny on this description...But I like it....=)

Yea, I don't like make up, I seldom wear skirt (**not don't like), I am not the kind of meek...I laughed so loud, not the kind cover my mouth with my palm when I am laughing...I wear slipper when dating out, seldom high heel nowadays...T-shirt and short pants are my favorite now...Haha....yea, I should say I am a boyish gal...

They suggested me to do make up, wear skirt, and more girlish like dress....wear dress to go dating?! oh...that's not my style...I will feel weird and restrained...Then, it will smash everything in the dating...haha....isn't it self-defeating?!..LOLS...

I m just trying to be natural, the truest i....as i don't like pretending...so, every time, been laughed and teased by others.....Alright, it doesn't matter...don't bother about it....

Life should be simple, full with joy and cheers....=)

Melancholy....

Holiday just pasted...how sad we all can't force it back...It is gone under our consciousness.....

For the last week, I experienced Wednesday blue and Friday blue... I am going to have Monday blue tomorrow...kinda tired...Arrrgggghhhhhhhhh...........I am damn lazy, damn idle, damn indolent, damn slothful to back to reality.....Oh gosh....i shouldn't simply shut down myself easily....still a lot of work chasing me behind...like a tiger waiting for its prey....it's going to 'eat' me.....scary..=.=...

Actually there only one month left, some days more, for the actual teaching days.....then, it is exam weeks and the end of the teaching life in 2010....sure, 2011 is still head in front....

Bloggy, I had forsaken u for few weeks....Many things I wanna write it here.....yet, low motivation....sigh....

Qin, sober up!!! no time to waste anymore!!! Life isn't boring...it is in your hand for you to make it interesting.....There are still many things to do other then just online here......Don't in low pace anymore....

If there is a return back....

If there is a return back, how I wish I could change the situation now....It's out of control now....

I thought it is the end of the story once the good news been declared...but, no...not the end yet...

If there is a return back, I wish I will never meet with that person....Friendship is cracked, tears is rolling down...For what? Who knows the pity? when the wound will be remedied?

Please, let her go.....She is scarred!

Two parties are enough in a relationship....Third party is surplus...Dear friend, you knew this....just let them be....bless them and pray for them....

Do you really have FAITH in God?

It is a bit messy this morning....

I woke up late in this morning..I rushed out to open the gate, but what a coincidence, my friend called...After answered the phone call, I just left my mobile on the bonnet....and drove off my car...Gosh...I just left it there....After I arrived my friend's house, she is taking her time to ready and haven't come down yet...So, I rummaged my handbag in order to get my mobile to call her....I guess, if she is waiting me down stair, I will never realize I forgotten my mobile and it is showering by the rain now....

I stunned and told her to return back to find my mobile. I was almost cried out cos it is such a grief why I was so blur....But, all happen already, grief also mean nothing...All along the searching pathway, my heart was so up and down....afraid it was the corpse under the tires already..afraid that it was taken by someone else....Mind brimming with everything, but never with God...I didn't pray for it first....

What a great timing, at the T-junction around my house, I saw it!! I saw my mobile!! It was so pity there as the rain is killing it...It is half-lived...

Even just a small incident, but I have a great lesson from it....My friend asked me a question and made me dumb to answer it...Have you prayed to God for this incident? I answered, NO....Then, she continued, Do you really have faith in God? I stunned....。My faith is just like under covered by a layer of chiffon...seems clear, seems unclear also...And I thought I had the great faith...Yet, this question mangled it....that my faith is not entire...is still not sufficient...I will more rely on myself and asked myself what to do first rather then seeking His way....I know it is wrong as Bible tells us, He is an awesome and faithful God....But, i still haven't totally practice myself on it...

Everything seems good in this comfort zone, and myself is following to be brittle ...Everything is ready made, seldom need I to worry about...Even though I did pray, but did I really pray for it? or just a modus?

Always been late to prayer meeting, to fellowship, but never be late to school, to a date....Where did I place Father？ Even I was regret afterward, but, the same thing repeated in the following week...aiz...I need to practice myself to be punctual....

Father, can you hear me? Sorry, that I always forget You....always place you to infinity...Yet, You still love me...as much as I always encountered....I am sorry, Dear Father....

Work-to-do list

Holiday is started...I gonna have a great plan for it...otherwise, it will be gone with nothing....Time time...you are kinda lovely and scary...

Well well...first of all, i need to tidy up my darling room...Again, it returned back to her ugly face...messy and messy...oh dear, i m sorry to design you with all rubbish...And, the whole house now is kinda ugly too....is time to tidy up...

Exam papers is heaped on my table...I have to hold red pen in this holiday in order to see how is my performance within these few months...performance judged by students' results...Well, i just marked the weak class, history is repeating....drawing question mark is continue...sigh...my performance is still bad....

Time flies....I am going to SG for Christmas this year.. and I am kinda excited with that...Sure, the great plan need to be done first for a great memory...And Hong Kong in next year is waiting for us to plan too....Date others out for planning....

I need to brush up my English nowadays...it is going down the drain....since got time now, sure need to pile up my brain with English...how to do? reading newspaper, blogging...etc...

And gathering and movie are a must in holiday...so, wish to have a great gathering with friends and watch a great movie...

What else?

Tears

Love, makes us feel so sweet...Everything seems good when we have someone besides...but sigh,
Love, makes us feel so suffer as well...Gloomy...Only companion of tears when there is no longer someone besides..

There is no wrong to cry....just cry...as loud as you want.....It needs time to go through all of these...Don't pretend yourself as you are sad now....No use to be a crown...and I don't know that my words keep playing in your mind...You laugh, as you don't want people around to worry about you...You eat, as you don't want people sense that you are unhappy...Gal, it's tired rite....

Rolling tears will wash over your grieved heart....We will be companions, however, in the last, you still need to go through by yourself....And God will always be with you...

Great flood...

A non-stop rain spoiled the dream of all Sibu citizens...We guess, the flood no longer haunting us...But, the facts told us that, history still is playing...

Well...our dear gov, our dear top-notch heads...where are you all? Did you ever heard our scream? I grew up here and I am 25 years old now....But the history is still the same....FLOOD is still haunting us....25 years...it's 25 years already....you can't do anything in these numbers of years?!

you did nothing within these years! What you gave us only the plaster cloth road....good...we are riding everyday...you took away our green notes, but return us with bad drainage system...Why the flood don't come in the earliest of the year, then we all can see our PM walking in the flood and playing water with his body guard.....phewit...highlight of the year....

You said change the name, 诗巫 to 诗富...whao...富with what le? 富with water? we have lots.....really lots...how we can develop before we settle all these small matters first? drainage system is not a huge project.....can't settle in 25 years? It is really a great laugh and crap!! our gov is really a smart gov...give them a big clap!!!

Who's responsible for all of these?


We are on the ship now....



Car for sale? No no...car for repair...

Saturday morning

It's what a free Saturday...I need not alarm myself to wake up early, but woke up by the twitter of the birds...Oh, they told me, sun is risen....haha..what a lovely day today...Well, today is a brain off day....I want to take a break and full my hands with my favorite.　Well, i watched the testimony of Sammi Cheng on Good TV. She thoroughly utter how does she go through her depression, with the faith and love from JESUS, how awesome is our God. Our God is an awesome and faithful God. He knows what is the best for us. His timing is never wrong. Even we forsake Him, pretended that we don't know him, hide ourselves from Him. But He is everywhere, no matter how we ran away from Him, He will never forsake us...And He will find us finally..

Sammi Cheng did a very good testimony to the world.. Money, prettiness, fame and wealth cannot fulfill our desires...but it will eat us...silently, and lead us to the end of the world...only LOVE from Jesus can fulfill our spirits...When we are tired, He always be our refuge...our hiding place...every rumor, teasing, despair, been thrown unto Him...He is like an empty stomach, never bored with our grumbles, never angry with us, but still loves us with unconditional love....Thanks you Jesus, for loves us so much...

Hmm....again, teachers in the school, talking about our partners again...they are so surprised that we are still single....bla bla bla......oh man, what so surprised...single ma single la....not a big deal...it is not the end of the world...Single is not a sin k....Anyway, thanks for the concern....we know they care about us...They said, I was fussy in choosing partner...well, you guess wrong...I ain't...what a gal want, is the one and the last...the one who is suitable forever....is FOREVER!! Marriage is holy, is blessed by God...sure need to find the suitable one....

God, Your timing is never wrong...You know who is the best for us....slow down and listen to Your voice...I believe in You...

Ups and downs....

Bloggy, I have something to tell you...We are going to Hong Kong in coming year 2011!

Its what an up and down nite...I fooled myself a great joke tonight....Friends asking me, why I am so confirmed with the holidays next year? Well, I told them I googled that holidays is available for the date we go HK.....But, I wonder again...so, after back home, I checked through again...oh gosh!! I just realized that the calendar that I was so confirmed was 2010...It was history already....Man...i dunno how to tell other friends, cos some just booked the ticket this afternoon, right after I told them....My limbs turn so cold... giggling....no appetite to eat...I was so guilty, for making such troubles...I made the bad planning, re-book...

However, a friend called and confirmed that, there is holidays for that period....I was so high!!! The trip is on!! How up and down.....can't control myself to scream...haha....Luckily she is not as blur as me....Thanks Chew...=)

It was quite dramatic....From the very first, there are only two of us, Carol and I decided to go...We also very worry at that time, worry about the staying place, worry about the transport, worry about the safety...but now, we have 8 people going together...How thanks and how glad to have this vacation group...And maybe there are 2 people going to join us....lol!!

I should change a bit...cannot be that blur anymore....I booked that ticket, when i m not confirm the date yet...how careless I was...but anyway, thanks God, You are so lovely, for giving all of these...I am so blessed!

Hong Kong, we are coming in 2011!! =)

p/s: Newest update: 10 people confirmed to go!!

Crap

waiting for mom in the school now..i just finished a meeting for a while..mind,spirit,eyes,foots..all crying for a rest...school works are bored.. Going to swim today with frens..well..been farewelled with swimming for a long time..

Starting of the journey...

Today, marked the starting point...
It might be a long way to go...really...
Other things can be excused...
Handbags, shoes, shirts, foods, cheese cakes ...-.-...all can be excused....
But, the precious moment cannot be excused....
I admired it and been clinged by it for a long time...
Save the money...start from now...

One day in future, I wish to own you~~

NIKON D90...=)

Life still going on...

How time flies...it is the 8th month in year 2010....2010 is coming to the 2nd half end....Well, life still going on....and I love this sentence...life still going on..

Well well....I have been moved to my new house in last two weeks...I m still adapting with the new long distance to my school...How to say, i felt so sickening driving here...just like car racing every morning..And, why people always keep to the right?? Don't they know that, 'ikut kiri jika tidak memotong'? The board is standing there, big enough to see...Most headache one is the cars both at the left and right, driving at the same speed...oh..i really want to ram into the either one....yea....I should go out earlier next time....

Dealing with my darling room, well it is most arranged now, and i am grabbing my time, step by step to tidy it...I m still not satisfied with it...some corner still messy....just let it be la, I need to ready my exam paper first...

My life is given by God, I always remind myself to be thank giving, with everything I had in lifet...yea...desire sometimes shout suddenly...and sometimes been overwhelmed by it...but, return to the point, you are much more blessed by other....Never feel being taken for granted...accept what is not counting by you...life is still going on...

My mind was congested with travel...I want to go travel...to oversea...where is my kaki le???

Glory to the Lord...

Thank you, Lord...other then that, still Thank you...

It was BM Sunday Services on last Sunday...And, we prepared kids singing performance. We have been ready them for a month. Still remember in the first day of practice, the kids are so hard to control, even we need to shout at them...Indeed, they are what we called hyperactive, both the limbs and the mouths...We need to entertain them with tit bits some more....haiz...just like pampering the babies....

Time flies....it's the real day of performance....We all get ready for the kids to come....But, it's 6:15am...only 4 to 5 kids there...We have the last plan where all the sunday school teachers join the singing...oh....how come?? Praying in our hearts, God, we believe in You, for Your wonderful guidance...It's 6:30am....we saw a crowd of kids coming.....We all smiled...Their smiles even more adorable...

See...the kids are so excited....

They are rehearsal for the performance, to give the best to Lord...They had done their very best in the last....acknowledged by the claps from below....=)

The closing of the day...Glory to the Lord...=)

Servants to the Lord....Happy Serving!~