Close friend

Feeling that when i grew elder, i have less and less friends. Some bossom friends are no longer intimate and we seldom have the same topics...I admit, i have such strong feeling with one of my closest friend. Sometimes i have no topics to talk with her, but she seems like has lots with others. Am i so hard to entertain? Grew up elder, everyone have differetn perspective of life....

How to get a close friend? Someone who will listen to me, when i was upset, when i was down....sigh...

Life packed with works, indeed bored and tension, even ain't my liking, i still have to follow it.....sigh...

New arrivals to my wardrobe and shoes collection...

It is Mega Sales within whole Malaysia..If don't buy now, when to buy? haha...i was so happy that i found all my beloved clothes...All are under Rm30...serious, it is really cheap....

I bought 2 skirts, 3 short pants and 4 clothes....The most expensive one is RM29 only...

I was searching for this kinds of skirt while i was shopping...When i stepped to nicole corner, this hanged skirt just like waving to me...And, what so surprised me is, my waistline changed from size29 to size27...Oh...finally I have some achievement within these few months...=)

Just realized that all my shirts are pinky, except the flowery cloth...I love that one...

Here comes the new arrival for my shoes' chest...
4 new arrivals....Deng deng...

The 2nd and the 3rd are wedges shoes, i was frenzied with wedges shoes lately.....


Just realized that, i have that many pairs of shoes....Fortunately mom is not at home while i am taking photo...otherwise......die lo..


OOppss........

I have 5 pairs of Vincci shoes, arranged according to my favoritism at the moment...Hehe...The 2nd and the 4th are presents from brother, and the last pair is my convo shoes....

I Love shoes very much....Don't know why. I can bear not to buy clothes, but i unable to bear the glamor of shoes....it's true....

Full house...

Finally i grabbed the cable from my brother to online...It's time to update my blog...I finished my convocation for two weeks already...and this week is school holiday..I am damn enjoy it...haha...but, one day left only...then have to back to normal life..=(..anyway, life stills goes on....^^

Whole of my family attended during my convocation...This time, finally we have the family portrait..Oh, the males are so cool...no smile neither....hmm...the females, so sweet...^^ In cable car at Bukit Bendera..


Met with Ah Chew's family while visiting to Bukit Bendera, but we both have the same OS:" We are so tired and headache of thinking where to heading next....Convocation is uneasy..."

Where the scene, where the footsteps...

Finally, i know where to head for...
Mom shouting:" hey, wait, take a photo...."
(Two body guard standing at the back)
Boss:" Ok?"
Mom:"Wait a minute, wait a minute....(click, clack, click)....ok..."

Brothers:" Fast, run!!!"

A rose in a heap of grass....

Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La??? La La La?? where is La?

Here we go....Photo taking at the studio....It is so funny, especially my Dad. He speaks Foo chow with those East M men, how could they understand?!
So geli o...I can't tahan ne....Brothers are peeping at the back...

Don't press my head la, i am very short already...oh...can't breathe....

I love my family....Full house...^^

The end of braces life

8/8/09, the big day came...My teeth can 'breathe' the fresh air today...oh....Before braces been took off, i took a few last photos for my braces....

After 30 minutes...Deng Deng.....The end of braces life...

Gathering with friends

Friday seems to be the night for us to have gathering....i like Friday night, where finally finished a week's stuff and can have a long chat, laugh with friends...It is really really a good way to release tension...But, quite weird that our topics always circulated around TEACHER!!! PLS, NO MORE TEACHER AND STUDENTS...

Last night, met with long-time-no-see friends...Some back from Australia, some back from England, some even in Sibu, but no contact...haha...All changed, grew up and in different path way of life..We recalled back all the funny things we did while in secondary...All are so sweet...How nice the secondary school life....such a wonderful memory..i miss those days....

Last night, actually i have a great sigh about my future...After heard the aspirations of some friends, they are so ambitious with their future...I can see their eyes shimmering while they talking about their dreams...Conversely, to myself, i seem like can't see any path way...Think again, i will be teacher for the rest of my life... I really can't withstand it to have such a bored life for the rest of my life....I don't bother that you think that i was so pessimistic...I can't accept it...indeed..

Within these few months, i almost doing the same old thing everyday. Went to school, start to teach, start to scold students to make sure they keep quiet, did not complete homework, scold again; give homeworks, don't want to do, buat bising, scold again.... Then, one period finished, continued with another class...Repeat the same thing again...We even more tensed about their studies, but they don't even bother about it...They shout that: so what!! It is non of my business...Damm....

Oh...am i going to be teacher for the rest of my life? i can't withstand the keyed-up life anymore...tired..squeezed mood...I want to do what i want, such as journalist...teacher always ain't my liking...

how times flies...today is the first day of August...2009 only 5 months left. And, my anticipating holidays are coming....nearer and nearer...I want to a rest....and vacation too....

Highest record

I read through my blog just now, and i found that i have the highest record in Year 2007, where there are a total of 60 posts. I started to write blog in my sophomore, and until today, i still like blogging, just becomes less and less...With the shift of life, work becomes more and more, but time becomes less and less....ya, no pain no gain, this is what called life...

Opened this blog for four years already...i am glad that i have this blog...when bored, i can surf back to recall my sweetest and saddest moment, stupid things i did together with my friends....All described by words, but memories appeared scene by scene...Even friends are far apart, yet, memories will always there....love you all!!

Friends, still remember that we always plan to go travel in our long ex-school holiday....Now, let's plan to go to Taiwan!!! Ding dong....Friends in Penang, can you hear me? Our next destination is to Taiwan!!! Lets start it!!!

Child....Teenage....

Those who are bad were not bad in the first. What made them became bad manner in now was due to living environment and people around...I was so sigh with this truth...

Children and teenagers are indeed like a white paper...Children are really naive....really clean, their mind. They will follow every single word or order from the teachers and never rebellious with the order...But, when i look at them, i was thinking that, how are these boys and gals gonna be when they grew up in future...Will they become like the teenagers like what we saw nowadays??It is very contradict. Boys and gals who are good behaved in child, no guarantee that they will behave well forever....The most important is the mind and the moral values instill in them...It was so pity if a good child spoiled as a result of lack of control or consult...

Undeniably, family, especially the parents play the most important role. while a child growing to teenage..They brought the new-born to the earth, means that they have the responsibilities to take care and educate them. But it doesn't mean that you have to punish them everyday...Punish is not the only way to give them a lesson...They will think that, i did do something wrong, but now, you punished me already....ok, fair...no owing....so, they will not really know their mistakes... What instill in their minds is how is the so called adult punished me....Talk is a much better way....this is what i encounter lately...

I was so agree that elementary education is very very very important. Are they really don't have interest to study?! They was, but is because they don't understand what they been learn before... how to proceed without a foundation?? sigh.......

Almost

It is almost the end of July...And it will be a completed month i work from tomorrow...How time flies...time indeed quite easy to be gone when have something to do...
Well, after a month of working, so far, i am doing well and everything is ok...just one thing that i have to apply furlough for my convocation, and facing some obstruction now , but i think everything will be alright...

I will graduate on 14th of August, which is on Friday...and i will return Penang on 7th of August...It will be a big day for me...My whole family will go there to celebrate and testify my big day...I am so glad and happy that my whole family can come...since this is my only graduation day....Thanks Mom, Dad and brothers who have been asked for leave to come to my convocation....

So far, i am still not adapted with teaching life...It is dull indeed...everyday doing the same old thing...is that i am too choosy? not interested? Sometimes thinking that i will engage in teaching for the rest of my life, will i survive? Responsibility being a teacher is really huge...sometimes can't even pant...ha..what a murmur gal....Here is the place where spoke out my ennui... Don't take it serious, everyone~~~

Now, i wish for a vacation, wish for a holiday.............August, Lovely August, you are almost come.............

Shoes frenzy again

Finally i got my salary for tuition, then i used those few money to buy these 3 pairs of shoes...Compared to clothing, i prefer to shop shoes...i like to buy shoes indeed....Share with you all, the shoes that i bought recently....

NIKE running shoes.
I bought it as my present jogging shoes no longer can serve me....It is declared broken now, at least it has accompanied me for a year...

See, it is quite old already, got a breach at the side...

Another shoes that i bought for working....it is nice wearing and made of wood. Still remember that the day before i buy this shoes, i saw a gal wear this kind of this shoes. hmm....not bad too this kind of shoes...and luckily i got it...Hardly can find shoes in my hometown, but at least still got SOS...phew...

Weird color?! hard to match with any attire, right? hmm...curious that why will i buy it? nothing much, i just want a pair of charming shoes....but i haven't wear it...=P

Mind still brimming with lots of things to buy...But, no more money liao....sob ..sob...=(

A date with students' parents

Yesterday was the first time i met with students' parents and have a chat with them about their children problems. First of all, i just have a little comprehend about the students as i just started teaching them for two weeks, so how deep is my understanding about them is from what i saw in the class and heard from their subject teachers.

The students' parents been called to come to school, most important is to let them know how is their children performance in the school. We most properly just want to have the best cooperation with the parents to encourage their children to study hard. And, from most of what i heard, i can conclude that their retrogression is due to computer online games, same as my brother, ADDICTED to online game. Nowadays, students no longer talking about basketball, badminton, post in the school, but ONLINE GAMES! That's what in their life... Computer have been misused for nonsense leisure and wasting the time. The students, especially the boys, due to addicted to online games, they neglected their study, this is the chief reason why they have poor performance in their academic. It was so pity when you see that the good and nice, who can have a better achievement, leave out from the top. They can do better but they don't want, they just want to wallow in the fictitious world.

We can't blame the parents at all too, who says they didn't put any effort to control their children? They did, but this is all about the child wants to follow or not, they will listen or not...This is all their choices.

The same case happen in my house. My youngest brother likes to play computer games. He can sit in front of the pc for half a day or even longer time to play online games. My mom always need to shout, scold him, or make a deal with him to exchange the hours to play online games with the hours to study. But, what to be gratified is, at least he will do the homework of his own accord.

I was so puzzling why the boys like to play computer games so much? Why they don't know study is much more important? Wisdom is forever, yet, triumph in game is just a moment....Fast, SOBER UP!

Deepest sympathy to Michael Jackson

Shocked when get to know this stunning new, the rocking star left us forever....Heard this news when i was on my way back to home. When the radio declared his death i thought that i was mis-listen and turn up the volume to the highest...but, it is true....Michael Jackson, the legend was history now.....

May Michael Jackson peace in God and has forever happiness...

Shift of life

Today is the third day i started my teaching life....Life as the real teacher indeed packed and busy, as i saw some of the teachers packed with bunch of paper works...Hmm...so far, my stuff is ok as i just teach some simple subjects for exam classes, but i am a form teacher....O...this is quite hard..First time being a form teacher, i have no idea what to do...The teachers there are nice and they are willing to teach and guide me, even they are very busy...

I am still adapting with the life where i need to sleep early and wake up early...When the day still dark outside, Mom and Dad and brothers still wrapped in their bed, i need to crawl from my warm bed...Oh...still feeling drowsy....No deal, i need to prepare to work...Splashed the cool water to my face, sobered me up immediately...Then, i will prepare my lovely breakfast, which is a bowl of oat and two slices of bread with egg...It is so delicious and that's the vim to help me to match into my teaching life...And, like before, this is the moment where i will approach and do prayer...The surroundings are silent, i confess my guilt and let's God to guide me and ready me for the whole day's life...Then, Mom almost woke up and she will open the gate for me and say goodbye to me...Thanks Mom, she loved me so much...Stepped into the school, i always told myself, try your very best...Smile...=)

My life for the moment is ample as i still have tuition in the afternoon, but sometimes felt tired and sleepy, expecially after lunch. Somehow, looking at the children, i felt joyful...indeed....

Now, i most anticipating the weekends as weekdays i need to work till noon time...And, now i can understand the taste of Monday blue....sour....

A blessing in disguise...

My mood are really quite different compared to last few days...Now everything settled with happy ending....Still remember that my last post is about i missed my most wanted school's offer...Ya, i felt bloodly regret after all. I blamed myself, why am i so stupid?! It was quite suffer on that day. I didn't tell my Dad and Mom what it's all about...

Dad asked me a day after during jogging. I told him frankly...He was quite furious after heard it and interrogate why i don't tell him the truth on that day! I stunned...Actually since back, i don' t like to tell them everything i done and planned, even tuition i also told them last minute. So, they asked me to ask the school again about the post for temporary teacher. The school offered me to teach Maths which is my major and that is really hard to get one, but i simply relieve this chance...I will never forget about that kinds of feeling....

That day, was my 24th birthday. The atmophere at home quite weird and Mom and Dad still angry with me....I felt sad too, as i don't have next chance anymore...I can't sleep the whole night...I told myself it is indeed an unforgettable birthday! The next day, i phoned the school again, but, no one answer. My frame of mind, again, at the bottom. Even shopping i also have no mood, and felt so sorry to my friends for my broken promise...Sorry, gals..

Until Monday, i went to the school and Mom accompanied me...Disappointing response from school again....I was so sad at that time...But, it is not the end of the world. Today, i received an offer which is temporary teacher from another school. I felt so happy and directly went to see the principal. In the noon, i received another offer from another school, but sorry, i have one already, so i rejected it...Now, everything settled down and i am going to start on next Monday, a brand new life...

Why i said this is indeed a blessing in disguise...Through the first incident, where i rejected the offer for Maths teacher, i just realized that family is the best refuge...They are my adviser for my job now...hehe....My relationship with Mom and Dad are healed, and i have no more grouses with them...They loved me very much. They knew that i was sad, so they act happily just to cheer me up and never show their disappointment.. but i know their feeling, same as i. And now, i can talk with them as before...no more misunderstandings...

In this incident, i know that prayer is powerful and Lord's art of work is miracle... In my everyday's prayer since i back, i pray that our relationship can be healed...and God did it, through how a special way...And i pray that i hope i can get the offer from my most wanted school, He gave me too, just i don't treasure the chance...And now, He gave me double blessings, even i did lost something before, but the blessings return are indeed full.........Thank you Lord for everything You gave me...Thanks ...

I missed it

Oh...quite sad this afternoon, as i got the offer from my most wanted school, but, so sad, that vacancy is noon section...haiz..no deal, i have to reject it. And, i have a post in another school...O... i was so disappointed...sob sob.....Will i get the offer again next time? Life indeed full with many uncertains....Anyway, i still have job...Cheer!!

Look at my braces...

I surfed back and found the posts, 'A day to remember-25/7/08' and 'Braces installment'. Almost two years i installed this braces. How time flies...So, i grabbed the photos and see how is the progress of my teeth's darling....

Before i install braces, i am like this,

Another one year, a little improvement...

Another one year...waiting.....anticipating....

And, now, i am like this...

Ohhhh~~~ Thanks God i have undergone all suffer, and 8th of August will be another big day for me....anticipating for the day....^^

Go go fighting!

I started working since last Monday, at a tuition center. I was quite satisfy, at last i have something to do and not just free at home.
I teach students who are in Primary 1, 2 and 3...Oh my!! They are really really cute! I love them very much! Ya, children are the most artless and naive. They will directly tell you what is in their minds or from their expression, you will clear what to do next. On the first day of teaching, not only one of the students asking me, teacher, what is in your mouth? what is that? haha..i smiled inwardly, they are so curious...
Teaching them, I don't have to shout like lunatic, just one stare, they will keep quiet. ..hehe....With them, i can feel the most simple thing in life, just like in heaven. There are no hypocrite, no quarrel, no lies, but joy and smile only...

Actually, this is just a part of my working life. Start from next week, i will be a teacher in secondary school in the morning... wondering how's gonna be....In fact, my schedule is quite packed. I will finish at 12.45pm, then will rest for one and half hour, then will start tuition at 2.20pm until 5.45pm. Then, go jogging for 40 minutes. Hmm...one most bothering me is, i am afraid that i will let tired or lazy be the lousy reason to skip exercise...Will I? shrug....
Then, after i finished everything in daytime, i still have 3 hours for myself before i go for bedtime...But, don't worry, i still have lovely Saturday and Sunday. That's two days are only for myself and my family...

Well well...maybe you will ask, why you want to work so desperately, as if exerting the utmost of your strength?! Hmm....i think that, i am still young, i have good stamina, four limbs, why not fully use it? No working, it will 'jam' in other day. And, i don't want to waste my time anymore, as i have been rested enough for last month and now is time to earn money. Just work hard for two months....After two months, will be another story....*-* Winks....
Baxia!! Go go fighting!!

p/s: it's reminded me about my braces, how is my braces now?

April fool changed date?!

Before May is drawing a close, everyone in Malaysia is looking at a jest...4574, is a great memorial in the history of my university...

Frankly speaking, being an APEX U, it was a serious mistake. Once upgraded to APEX U, we should give outsiders a good image, prove that we can make it and we are deserved with this standard...Not easy to get APEX standard, right? But why don't try hard to consolidate this good reputation?

I was quite stunned that day when i saw the headline...It is really a great fool to the juniors and pity with their situations...They can't do anything besides endless waiting and anxious...that kind of feeling...helpless and uncertain, are really a great dread... The uni should give them a good resolution, otherwise, they will totally lost the trust and confidence...and this will be the long-life black spot...Now, everyone is paying high attention on how is the uni going to solve this problem...So, all the best to my university...

Final decision

At last, i have made up my final decision. It had bugged me for a month and i was tired with it...really...stay or leave, it is not what i asking now, but want or not, is my question now. I have been offered a temporary post at a secondary school, yet, thinking of reject it, as i prefer the another school. hmm... I always hesitate in making decision, quite wired with myself too sometimes, even i went shopping, i will stand in front of a pair of shoes or a dress, or a bag for half an hour or longer time just to decide to buy or not...oh, what a lousy gal....haha

Always heard that 'if you have a dream, run for your dream, young man... with gut, nothing to be afraid! Oh ya, really?! i was defeated by reality. Reality is cruel, no deny. I need to consider a lot parts, not only myself...I had made up my mind to stay at my hometown, even i still paying a high wish to go working at other place...the chief reason that i stay here is i don't know where i will get my posting, maybe i will not get the offer to my hometown, so, this is the only moment i can stay with my family...and, another reason is financial. No money, no talk, can't escape from the cycle...

I am putting myself right now, from revolt to comply. I told myself if something is a fact, then why still take unnecessary pains on it? It is not the end of the world even the final decision ain't your wish, but life still goes on, with joy, not with melancholy...I nearly forgot my real personality... yea, it is not the end of the world!! Life still goes on....hmm....=)

phew...i tried hard to keep fit, but until today, looks like nothing change...I jog for 30-40 minutes everyday...sob sob, still nothing different....NO WAY!! Never give up! If failed again this time, i will never lose weight anymore....Every one, please, scold me if i gave up!!
Sometimes, while i was jogging, i wish to see some handsome guys (everyone likes to see beautiful things right?!), but, what la, only uncles, aunties around me or couples, hardly i can find a target...And i found out that, there are less and less young men in my hometown...is that reflects that i will be single forever? Oh NO!!!!! *o*

p/s: finally May came to the last day, wish to have a good starting tomorrow, the first day of June...It's Gawai holiday tomorrow, Happy Holidays!

Dim Sum

I like to eat dim sum, really...there is an indescribable feeling while eating dim sum...

I went to this dim sum restaurant during our last Ipoh trip. This is an famous old shop to eat dim sum. Recommended to go if you have chance to have a visit to Ipoh, but, must go early in the morning o, otherwise you will have to wait in long que...
Pictures draw hundred words, no chatter, let's look at the pictures taken during i enjoying my favourites....

My fancy, egg tarts...

Rating: ***

oh, i love this one very much, there are three big and fresh prawns inside!
See the prawns inside
Rating: *****

This one is really tasty and delicious..One mouth in, full with prawns...
Rating: *****

This is zhu chang feng, hmm...for me, it is nothing special, but my friends like it very much...
Rating: **

Oh, frenzied with this one, like an ordinary pao is it, but it is really nice. The soft sack with the filling inside, perfect combination!
Rating: *****


This one is tasty as well. The sack is made by fish meat. Tasty with the filling inside...I like it very much too...
Rating: ****

Here is the place we go, Restoran Foh San.

Filial

How long i can stay besides my parents? how long i can be their daughter? how long????? There is no answers for these questions...

Lately, some questions bugging me for quite a moment...i hardly can make decision as reality is contrast with dream...it is not as beautiful, as smooth as what you want....need to consider lots things...

Really, standing at the crossway, i don't know where is my way...Just yesterday, when i decided to make that decision, Lord gave me another way out...The date have been postponed and i have more time to reconsider...Lord, thanks for let me hear You...Thanks for always by my side...

I should not be selfish, always myself only...

Update with the interview..

Alright, i am still available for the moment and i still not yet get any post for the moment. Hmm...for the interview, first of all, the teacher, or PKI, don't know, she asked me to say something to convince her to take me as teacher. Ok, so i start to say that i am not experienced in teaching, neither primary nor secondary, even i did my practical for four months. So, i would like to take this opportunity to gain my experience before i become the permenant teacher. Hmm...while i was talking, my OS sounding as so:'' i just want to have a job for this few months before i get the real posting." Am i hypocrite? Hmm....

Then, she asked me to teach ICT and PM. PM no problems to me, but but, ICT is a big problem. She asked me to try... How to try, as i didn't learn it either in secondary or university. If you want me to teach something that I didn't learn at all, i will die o....And it is unfair to the students. I am zero in this subject, how can i stand firm in front of the students? Therefore, i rejected her. Same case happen to my friends who went to the same interview same as me. But, finally, have to say that the school is lucky. There came a gal who is really majoring in ICT. So, she got the job.

Until today, there is another school which phoned me on last Monday. It's guru ganti which have been rejected by my friends....haha...so funny....Even though i accepted, i will reject if i got any guru sandaran...Hey, guru ganti and guru sandaran are different, guru ganti works for two months only, but guru sandaran works for 3 months at least....

So, for the moment, i am still a vagrant..sob sob...

The endless waiting..

Tomorrow i will go for the first interview for temporary teacher in a school, which i was not expecting...I just simply fill in the application form and the empty form even borrowed from my friend at the last moment. And, i don't even paste any single photo on it...Weird, that i get the call for the interview tomorrow.

How is my feeling now? My friend said that i am steady, not worry so much. How to say, Maybe i have less interest to teach in my hometown 0r in that school, so i am not worry about whether i will get it or not. Even i didn't get it in that school, i still can wait for the other school...No point to worry about...

And now, i was quite bored with my life now...days like a pile of white sheets, nothing special....the only moment that i will contact with the public is during my jogging time...what...are you a gal-in-house now?! oh man...i never think that my life will turn to this....

I even try to find some office gals, but what did they told me?! university student? We are not able to hire you or offer you high salary. Some even saying with tease, you said you now waiting for posting, so you simply find a job for these few months?! Even i told them i don't mind about the salary, they still don't even consider about me...Is that true graduate = unemployed?!

Temporary teacher?! When can i get it?! We can't do anything now unless waiting for this job...The endless waiting...

p/s: don't worry about me, i am fine now, i am just not mince with my words to express my feeling for the moment....just be candid while writing my blog. See the next update, see what will happen in tomorrow's interview...to be continued.....=)

Life lately

Back to home for a week. What i done, hehe....sleeping, watch drama, jogging, hand in the form to school for temporary teacher....Quite sien to do the same old things everyday, especially hand in the form, same questions and same answers to and from....

However, i enjoy the life now...still remember that i was quite rebellious when i was back to home, even quarrel with Mom and Dad for let me back to Penang...But now, i totally dispelled this thought. Went to a friend's Mom funeral yesterday, it is really upset to see the situation..She said she still can't accept her Mom's death...All happen too fast....She can't even enjoy the last moment with her Mom. She advised us, treasure your parents every moment, never let yourself regret after they are no longer there...Why i never stand on my parents' side to think about their situation? i was so selfish that i wish i could try my luck somewhere...i just self-centered and never think about them...Dad almost 60 and Mom nearly 52. They are old now....Like what the Bible said, you must show filial obedience to your parents, for every disciple.

Another thing, brother reminded me that as i need to earn money for my convo, so, i better stay here to save more money for the convocation. .hmm....

Well well, my daily prayer now are pray for my parents' health and relationship between my parents and i (have crack after the quarrel =(.... ), my job here and pray for my partner....Opps....

I am doing well now.........even life is simple and dull...but at least i am with my family....

May blue...

Again, i really don't like May...This is the month i need to do a lot decision...Just like last few years, i need to find temporarily job, but always zero...Now, i need to be serious, it is regarding my future. I am standing at the T junction, wondering where should i go....should i stay or should i back to Penang to find my carrier?

Mom and Dad insisted me to stay at home, but i don't wish to do so, i just wish to gain experience outside, in other place, easy, not complicated, why think so narrow?! i wondering...i thought they will support me, but NOT AT ALL....i was so upset now....nobody support me!!!!!

Tried to talk nicely with them, but ended up with quarrel...Why it became like that?

We are the reason

Like this song quite much recently, share with you all....

Artist(Band):Avalon
As little children we would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

*We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
All because of love
All because of love

*Chorus

I finally found the reason for living
It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him (every part to Him)
And all that I do every word that I say (you know I’ll be saying)
I’ll be giving my all just for Him, for Him (every thing for Him)

We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give (all that he could give all)
To show us the reason to live

#He is the reason to live
(don’t you know do you know the reason
that he came, oh he came to save us
when he gave his life for us) he suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave everything (everything that He had He gave)
To show us the reason to live

p/s: here to view more, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrPAZbD6fG0&feature=related

Expecially to you ^^

well well... i would like to write this post especially to a friend, a blur and kind-hearted friend. I got to know her just after I came to USM. She is indeed a good, happy-go-lucky, charm and gorgeous gal...Her smile, haha.... indeed attractive....^^...oh....fonded to her..=P...and just this semester, due to practical, she moved to our home and we became housemates.

Still remember that, when we knew that we get a school at Georgetown, we stunned and quite vexed with the transport. We have no idea of how to go to school...yet, how miracle the Lord plan everything for us....We have kind-hearted teachers who are staying at our apartment and nearby our appartment, they are so kind to offer to pick us....

But, sometimes, we need to back by rapid penang...It is indeed tired of waiting for the bus...some students even teasing us, asking that teacher don't have car meh? You thought we don't want to have car? it is a burden to have a car...Like what i said always, we are still students...When T304 came, our eyes 'shimmering'...sob sob..finally we can go home...

In the bus, both of us were very tired...sometimes we didn't have any seat to sit..Think about it, after teaching whole day, the foots sure cry for rest, but sometimes, we can't let them to rest....poor legs...When we get the seats, drowsiness haunted us...yea...the seat in the bus is our temporary 'bed'. We slept by ignore others' sight...ya, i know, it is weird to see teacher sleeping in the bus, but really tired you know...

After arrived, we will walk through a small alley. Always, we told each other, how thanks you are here...otherwise, it's really a great suffer....ya, gal, how great you are by my side for these four months...

From her, i learn of how to be slow and steady...She always work slow, but, tidy and good works in turn...i used to be the one who want to be fast, fast and fast. But, always felt tired. Even though it is limited time, she still firm and gives me confident, that, don't worry, everything will be fine...i felt at ease every time..She always persuades me to be positive thinker, don't be narrow in making decision...Every time after discussed with her, i got the idea of what to do next...

Always, we burn the midnight oil during practical...Late at night, only two of us writing the lesson plan, preparing the teaching aids, but, thanks you are there accompanying me... We always asking each other, why only two of us always alert during this time? hmm.....At last, we still don't have the answer for the question...

I am thankful, she is besides me during the practical...She always been bullied by me. Sometimes that is not her fault, she apologizes to me too, just to make me happy...sometimes, i asked her to carry things for me, she is willing to do so....Thanks gal, for your helps..

Ya, she is my friend and angle from God, Belle....Glad to meed you...^^...Wish you all the best in your future~~

Have the photos during L34's trip to Ipoh....

Qin: Belle, are you dare to jump?
Belle: you jump.....i jump.......

Qin: Haha...I am a coward..........
Belle: Haha...then, don't jump la..

Where to go?

Again, the dark May came...always, 4 years dy, i still don't like May. This is the month that i need to do a lot of decisions.

Now, i have to make a decision, for my future...STAY OR NOT STAY, was quite bothering me now...my every decision, dad always consider wrong...Am i that useless? Am i that pampered? can't make my own decision? I tried to be rebellious, but, reality is cruel....I confess, i will definitely regret with my decision once i back to my hometown...

where to go? i was quite trembling now...can i hear YOUR voice?

Teach without distinction.

Are we really able to teach without distinction? Students who are weak, just despite them? If we do so, how will be their life in future? I never see weak students during my school life...As friends around me all were best and smart...Now, i tasted the totally different. Their standard were so different. Even some basic things and simple things, are difficult stuff to them. I tried to approach them to help them. But, i really wonder, what choked their brain? Nothing can go in?! i still trying to approach them, to help them as long as i am able, but i don't know how far i can go...indeed, teach them need much patience...

Today, i heard a story of an Indian boy when i am doing relief in his class. He is an orphan and staying at salvation army with his friends. What so surprised me is, he is behaved and good-mannered, and most important is he is a Christian. I felt pity with him while listen to his story. Yet, he now is happy going with his life, just he is weak in his study.

Oh Mercy Lord, please hear my prayer.... Let Your grace falls on him and take care of this child, let him to have a better life in future...And so do, the other unfortune children....Thankyou Lord!

I have something to say...

Now is the mid of my practical period...how time flies...left 2 months for my practical...Wondering, some kinds of weird feeling tonight. Life packed with school stuff, back even have no private time...

Responsibility as teacher is really really a concernment...It is not about you done your job, you finish your work to teach, but it is about the consequences of your teaching....How much the students imbibe, its your responsibility. Students' futurity is in your hand... I felt guilty when students said that they dont understand about my teaching, they can't follow. I always make something easy complicated. Found out that i really not a good teacher...Maybe i am not suitable to be teacher...despair with my performance....But i try my very best already...

Now, i am still a fresher as teacher, i was so passionate in teaching, full with zest. But years go, will i still be so? I admit, this is not my dream. But, i am serious with it, i am not playing with it, i know it is my responsibility.

LOVE

Received a mail from a friend, mind to share with you all...

To My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are............NOT SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's 'perfect person.'
It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say 'I love you' if you don't care.
Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.
Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.
Never look in the eye when all you do is lie.
The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways...

To My Friends Who Are............MARRIED
Love is not about 'it's your fault', but 'I'm sorry.'
Not 'where are you', but 'I'm right here.'
Not 'how could you', but 'I understand.'
Not 'I wish you were', but 'I'm thankful you are.'

To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are............NAIVE
How to be in love:
Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone.
It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you.
But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it.
If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....

TO ALL MY FRIENDS.......
My wish for you is a man/women whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

Finally came

Finally our dear lecturer came today...For my first impression, she is quite humour...and, don't know whether she is strict or not....She has high expectation to me, as i only taught one class and the only science class...She said i should not have problems in handling class or dealing with students...Oh man...i felt tension now, i don't know whether i really can handle the class or not. The students did give me some response, but some positive some negative...i am quite weak in forcing students to do their homework and hand in their works... I will be scolded by the school tomorrow since they checked students' works today....

suddenly felt that still a long way to go for practical....Don't know how will be my path of practical, but i know, God will prepare everything to me...Just I need to have the only FAITH on HIM...neither good deed nor bad deed , all have the concealed grace...

Life as teacher

Started to do practical for a month already, life as teacher is indeed not easy...it is really tired...Wait for the time to go to school, and wait for the time to go home...It is really not so adapted with the school environment at first. But day by day, feeling not bad too teaching in this school..

I can say that, now, i have a little bit more interest in teaching compared to last time, where i was so disputed with. Even though i don't have adequate sleep everyday, but after i done all, i was quite satisfied with my work, at least i done my jobs...For sure, since teaching, i also have despair. From students' response, i knew that they don't understand.. They even told me want their original teacher back to teach them...ya, i am learning now, same as you all, i will do mistake too...and this is the time i can learn, after all, no one can cover or help me..

I like the environment in my school. The teacher i met all are so friendly and nice to us...Even just a simple word, want to follow me home? We felt so touched..when we don't know, they will teach us, as long as we want to do it...

But, i have a doubt...The standard of the students are so low, is it our mistakes or the students' mistake? We taught but the students closed their ears. We wrote, but the students closed their eyes. We did, but the students didn't appreciate. What can we do? Sometimes i felt so piteous to those students who want to learn. I did lost to control the class sometimes and therefore, made the students can't enjoy the teaching...Sorry about that, i will improve myself...

Students are hard to fathom. In the class, they will act so rebellious towards you. but outside the class, they will be another face...Headache...Everyday just like having psychological warfare...
Our lecturer haven't come yet to survey us...Heard a lot from others about how was their lecturer, but What about us? It is quite tension waiting for him or her to come....

haha...quite weird that, my friends around me all were teachers...So, heard about teacher's news daily...quite pening with that la....Weekday, is teacher, at night, listen about things in school again, weekend heard about teacher again...my life now is full with the word TEACHER!!! AHHHAHHA.....teacher phobia!!

p/s: A month after stated the first post in 2009........................I have lots to write, but nought time..