I like blogging~

Blogging allows me to shout out...

Blogging allows me to share life...
life as a Christian, life as a teacher, life as a daughter, life as a friend...

Blogging allows me to concede my guilt...
a scrutiny of my days of life...

Blogging makes me to be sensitive to surrounding...
to my life, to people in my life...

Blogging makes me to practice writing....
even nobody mark for me...lolz...^^

Blogging makes me have something to do during my idle time...
much better then shopping outside...

Blogging recalls my reminiscences....when i glance back, i put a grin on my face...
what a day full of memories...
...=)...

It's holidays....

Announcing the opening of the 3 weeks holidays!! Hurray!! This is the first time I feel so good to be a teacher...whatever...the reward for all teachers...

I have so many things to be done within these 3 weeks holidays....First of all, sure is finish marking the headache MT papers...Students grumble that it is super duper tough this time and I am gaining their suffer! Huh...why don't say u are underestimate MT?! or should say you still need to work harder...Marking their MTs are taking my time and spirit as well...I told my students I need to turn on the air-cond to the lowest temperature and the strongest level, put a glass of cold water on my desk, in order to cool me down while marking their papers....lol...haha...but i haven't start marking yet....Still left 3 bundles to be finished...

Shopping maniac is coming!! Yeah....going to KL and Penang in coming June....I want to update my wardrobe and my working suits...I am headache as everyday standing in front of the square box, rummage from the first to the last shirts, yet still wear the same suite...so, shopping to the fullest in coming week...

I want to move my everythings to my darling room in new house..It's time to do so, even i still prefer the old house....I always use many excuses to stay at old house....short distance to sch, many things to move, cannot online at new house...bla..bla..bla...lame...Every nite, I saw Mom and brothers busy moving the things to new house and I only say goodbye to them...Seeing Mom's back made me feel sorrow....Mom is no longer young, but she still need to do every tough works...I felt so unfilial with that....So, no reason to escape this time, i want to move~~

I need to tidy up my table in school....Lizard's stool has been accompanying me for a long time...yuck...I want to sweep it away...

hmm.....anything else? These are the major things I need to settle first...

Amazing~

It was 11:30pm last nite, and i was still thinking whether to continue marking the exam papers or not...there are 30 sets to be marked..

In the last, i used only one hour to finish marking all the 30 sets exam papers...12:30am, done my work...amazing rite?! Why? Because i draw more ? and X much more then a tick...I don't even need to figure out the workings, cos all are just nonsense...They don't even bother to answer the questions, how to give them marks...1 minute to mark each set? It's too much..

I was bothering, there are two papers for Maths this time, plus both papers there are all together 4 hours...What are they doing in these 4 hours?? Fishing, dreaming, staring, trance, sleeping? Before the exam started, i kept on remind them don't leave it blank, i can't give you any single mark if all blank....whatever, they don't even bother about their marks, all blank....In a nutshell, their brains are blank as well...

What can i do in order to help them to get a pass? just simply a pass...that's all....this time, the whole class failed for Maths. Last time, at least still have 3 get passed...The whole class completely annihilated this time...deng deng!! Game over!!

Oh....What's going wrong? This is Maths, is that tough to learn as the whole class is Chinese....Chinese should be brilliant in Maths, or they are special cases? I need to change my tactic and teach in the most simplest way....Start before it is too late....they really really cannot imbibe that much.............

Regret?

I should think twice..will i regret with my decision in future? What made me so determinant to reject him? what should i do in order not to hurt him anymore? what do i want? Headache....

There are so many questions in my mind now...

Distance? chatting, msn, FB...is different with face to face, the feeling is different as well....I can imagine how wonderful he is through texting, but when come face to face, the problems come....

Feeling? no feeling = no chance?ignore?

Characters?

Can we still be friend? he is a nice guy and good friend....

Lord, pls show me what should i do...i am tired....

Nothing??

Yo...just figured out that i just wrote two posts for May...May, May, you are a lonely month..well well, really no big events in May, other then school and home only....just i missed a dating with my old friends...hate it....school events again....

Never mind, there will be a lot of events in coming June....and holiday is coming!! Anticipating....

True love wait...

A big nudge to me last nite while join the fellowship...it answered me quite a number of ? marks....Indeed, true love wait...no need be so anxious about it...if it really ain't the one prepared by God, i don't want....and, i admit, i din have a proper relationship with Lord, but He still loves me....and He actually did prepare the one and the last for me, just the timing...Be patient for His miracle....

Busy, working is beating and bugging me for all the while.....I always use these such lame excuses to skip fellowship and services...Persuading myself, i am still the first yr in the sch, there are many things for me to ready, please, give me one year, after that, i will ready myself to indulge in services...Really? Are you sure you still can keep your promise after a year? The surrounding is keeps on changing..your heart, your mind might be changed also after a year....then, until that day, many many lame excuses will appear...Until that day, you are still at the starting point...

i hope i will not using it anymore...try my best...but i m afraid, the fire just burning for a while....after a few days, it will turn off....remind me...

God, i am sorry for what i have done for the late...My life is empty without You, i want to hold You tightly...even just Your garment..and thanks for not cast me aside...thanks for still loving me...I promise, true love waits, be patient with the one and the last you ready for me....be faith with You!

The richman and the villagers...

While the villagers are eating kampua mee and kongpia,there comes a rich man smiling at them. He says, I want to pamper this place, pamper this place with 1M,1B. I want to free you all from the nightmare. But, i need your voice and support..as we are in 1Unity, rite!

The villagers smiled and so appreciate his generosities....

However, years fly, the nightmare still haunting the villagers, they still eating kampua mee and kongpia with their foots soaking in the flood....sigh....

Its been a century that my hometown casted aside by the gov. And now it is in the eyes of all civilians...But just for this week. Due to a passing away of a renowned dato, kampua town no longer staying silent. Banner hanged everywhere, just afraid that you can't notice it...The top-notch servants spring up, to let you to glance a minute while they are doing the 'show'..It's show time, everyone...They are the best celebrities...

It is so realistic...Crammed at the last minute, what they want, we are clear about it...But, why don't you do this all start from the beginning? We are not taking for granted...
After this honeymoon week, will us still keep pampered by them?

I dunno what do i want now

For the moment, i am still trapping myself in a box...me myself still don't want to come out...what a stubborn gal....hard...and feeling suffering...i really dunno what do i want for the moment....

Everything seems so good to me...But i din appreciate at all..Everything is such a blessing....but....i don't appreciate it....what a bitch...

Please..God, i was so suffering now....life seems so boring now...i don't want to be like that for the rest of my life.....everyday the same old days.....so boring...boring...and boring.....when can i get out from here? from the trap?

Am i really want to be like so for the rest of my life? where is my next destination? or this is the end?

The forth month in 2010

It's been the forth month that i became the genuine teacher...Stil, life is packed with school tasks, even weekends also the same...i have no shopping for a month already..breaking the record....In my hometown, the shopping bug is not that active...why? The shopping bug is hibernating for June's shopping in KL...I was so looking forward for it...

My friend asking me how did i feel about my students now? For sure, i prefer them more than before...If not, teaching is a suffering stuff for me...i don't wanna be in such a hell....I figured out that, teacher has to be good in debate, debate with students and win them...Then, they will respect you a little little only...even just a little, it is good too....Otherwise, when they climbing up high there, you no longer can pull them down already...

Students are very emotional...it just like playing psychological warfare with them. They hardly can be prognoses. Ok...fine, i want to fool you back...change my pattern everyday...make you grasp the minds vain...hiak..hiak hiak...

The government are probing teachers' working tasks...Memorandum have been hand in for transformation. But when will it be? After n years, or after a century....

Do you believe?

Today's sermon preaching about this three words: Do you believe?
Believe in what? believe in yourself or believe in Jesus?
What a reminder to me....indeed, i was asking this question quite a frequent lately...
Frankly speaking, my faith is fading since back...mean, it is been a long time already...I was just like walking corpses...I dunno what is God's purpose for putting me here...I started to question, is that's all for my life?

Just by faith, not by sight...Until today, i still haven't entirely practice it or get use with it...Even i pray, but i m not fully entrusted...the sovereignty still in my hand, i am afraid when something is not in my control....

Pastor preaching that, let it go...don't truss up yourself...All you need to do is just a simple trust...He is a risen God, and He gave us promises that He will give the eternal love to us, from now to forever...you need not pay anymore, He had paid for us...

Last week, our Pastor Xie came back from Singapore training for mission. He shared with us how is he undergone the bitterly painful path while in Singapore..For sure, finance is the most huge problem. However, he learn one most important thing, even life ain't the adorable one, you still have to trough life actively and keep praying, praying and praying...God will guide you all the way...unexpectedly...

These two sermons was a great advice to me...I should not feeling pity with myself anymore...Do i really pray hard? or i just grumble when things coming up is out of expectation....just think about it...

Waiting with patient...with faith...

Toy from trash

"Ah jie....." I heard my brother calling me...with flying voice.. he must has something to ask for...
"Yes?", I replied..
"Ah jie, can you help me to do something with recyclable material?" he asking with shimmering eyes...
As I expected, he always speak in flying voice when he needs my help...cheh, realistic boy...lol

What a huge project to me...i have no idea of what thing to do....I searched online, nothing i get...My brother kept on reminds me everyday to complete this suck...He is such a lucky boy to have this sister....
Just yesterday, the last day before due date, i surfed again online to get some ideas....When i came to Youtube, what a great, I found this idea, Can aircraft...Phewit...I was so excited to start...

I get everything ready, the can, the scissors, rulers, super glue.....bla bla bla...And you know, while i am processing this thing, my brother is just sitting aside, watching me, laughing me....bad boy....huh....

For the very first step, i cut the aluminum can into pieces...It is damn hard to cut it...finally, got it...

Then, coil and staple it to make the body...

Then, combine them to make the body...

Then, proceed to make the wings, follow any pattern as I like...i just cut it into simple shape...
After everything is completed, glue them up...

Here it is....the toy from trash, a can aircraft....=)

The passing of a friend

Life is indeed unpredictable...I just knew her in secondary, but i am not really remember her. When i saw her picture, then i recognize her. It's been a decade that i din get any news about her. When i heard her name again, she is no longer here. Life is indeed incapable to predict...

While the world is still running, there is a person disappear into another world. It won't stop running for everyone...not you, not me.....treasure your life...

May she rest in peace...

Food for thought..

"4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

" ¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

This is what i read this morning...
The happiness is landed on me, however, i let it go...

Afresh

I am what in a low passion lately....I easily get influenced by other, envy or admirer things belongs to other, but i never see what is in my hand...

I shouldn't be like this anymore...what for i kept on thinking something nonsense and useless? life still going on...time won't pause for anyone....only you chasing the time, not time waiting for you...

Think twice...even the present mode ain't the loving one, at least you are much more blessed than others...what so pity? you are just inviting ridicule rebuff...

Have you forgotten your family?

Have you forgotten your friends?

Have you forgotten the blessing is bounding you?

You are not blind, just you intended to be blind...purposely to be blind and deaf...

Holidays is drawing a close soon...Afresh and restart again...

Dream

We were ready to march forward...to face the world...no more in the comfort zone..

A bright future is waiting in front..

However, i am not satisfy with my present mode...
My ego is going to kill me...
I admit, i am a greedy gal..

Her life has been changed..

I went as a volunteer for life game for 4 days 3 nites. Still remember that, i was so hesitated in decide to go or not to go that day, as my best friend is not going...Yet, my mind stopped bugging by this verse...

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve" Mark 10:45

Again, i felt that i was so close with Father. This kinds of feeling was lost for quite a while since back here..This verse popped out that day, just like He wants to remind me of something....I shut up and decided to go at last....

For the first day, I can't have a hand in with other volunteers...I was feeling strange as no one who familiar is around...Indeed, Lord will guide us all around. I met with this gal. She is my ex-student. I can frank to tell you that, she is what a nonsense and headache before. I didn't teach her, i just went to her class for sit-in. But, can you imagine there is a student who can give you such a deep impression even you din teach her? I remember most because she is so 'diao'. She ignored you as invisible and never do her works. She just knows talking, talking and talking....What a great headache! Believe me!

BUT! This time, when I saw her, she is no longer the old one, she has been changed, changed a lot....She started to go to church, doing services, and the most important is she breaks off with her bad friends. She knows what should and shouldn't do...She cried while she shares her affairs... I was so glad that i was there to see this miracle....She confessed everything, repented and mended her ways...What is the power besides THE POWER OF LOVE?

Doing as volunteer really gave a great refreshment to me...It's been a while that i din be that enjoy and free my mind...School stuffs and affairs made me suffocated, made me like a robot to pass the life...indeed BORED...The delight as a server will never be replaced by anything...Even we were tired, but we knew what we were doing and for whom...Even until the last minute, some of the kids are still the old one, but, someday, there will be also someone like this gal, changed and renewed....God's timing ain't our timing.....Rejoice in Lord! =)

The gal and i...In Life team March 2010, YMCA

Photos with other volunteers

Y.M.C.A

The big Y

The Family photos!! Nice first attempt..

before to camp

This is the post that i wrote before i go to camp...wish to have a new attempt in this camp...and recharge myself...
Wondering, is it staying in comfort zone for quite a long time..I am lazy and worry to go...worry to face the strange environment...

Anyway, i think everything will be fine.....Wish me good luck...


"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve" Mark 10:45

Unwittingly, hurted someone...

Unwittingly, I hurted someone...

He is nice, good, patient and considerate...

But, i have no feeling towards him, just treat him as my friend. He said he succumbed after i responded to him. I am sorry...still not the timing yet...

Anyway, we were still a great friend now, he is my newly met friend and we have a long chat last nite....glad to see that he is fine....We talk more compared to before, sharing life, sharing working experience, sharing future plans....he is indeed mature thinking..but why, i don't consider him?

Since i ended secondary, I seldom or can be said non...feel attached to someone...That's why i am still single now...Am i over-enjoyed single life? I love to be alone? definitely no....I want to have my own household, my own baby...just i haven't meet with the one and the last....

My bosom friend always remind me, list out the criteria and pray for my future partner. Ok, now i state it here and pray...

Lord, here come my prayer for my life partner, who is the one i wishing for....
1) For sure, christian! have strong spiritual life than I..as I was damn poor...
2) Humor...I can't withstand mute...
3) Have a professional carrier ( no doing sales pls)
4) > 170 cm...easiest right..
5) No bad habits
6) not need handsome, but good looking...
7) guitar admirer....i wish to learn it..
Lord, done or not done, it's all rely on you...
Amen....

My friend did experience it, she prayed and just within a month, she met with him..now they are pondering to get married....i just think that it is just a coincidence....

Lord timing is not my timing.....i am still anticipating for it...

Hot! Hot! HOT!!

The sun is burning outside...the earth is screaming 'I am exhausting'....everyone is screaming...raining please...PLEASE!!!

Realistic

When we stepped into working field, is that true we will be realistic? we want everything to be good to ourselves only, yet ignored other..if we be mercy to other, then is our death...quite a self-conflict a while lately...

I don't want to take advantage on other, but situation forced me to do so...can i use this as a reason to let myself feeling better? I am selfish i admit...But, why must be me? is just because i am a junior? i am still a fresher? You bumped the unwanted to me, then, that's mean i can only accept? even I am not happy with that?! What a nonsense!!!

Homo-sapiens..the most complicated creature in the world...