Misconception

I like swimming, definitely...I felt free and relaxing while bath in the water, following the waves, swim with freestyle or breaststroke. It is so silence inside water, no noise, no shout, no tumult, every annoyance and troubles weltered in it...That's why i like to swim very much...I am crazy with swimming..

Yet, lately, i clear the misconception that, swimming can't really help to lose weight...Actually, the earliest motive that i learnt swimming is i wish i could lose some weight by swimming. This is the very first exercise that i can maintain for more than 2 years..Well, it is saying that eventhough swimming can help to deplete energy, but, people seldom can swim non-stoply, unless someone can swim everlasting for more than 1 hours, that's will be effective in burning the fat..Hmm....every time i just swim for 30-40 minutes, that's mean, no use? ahhaaa....Moreover, swimming makes us easier to get hungry. So, after a crazy swim, for sure, hungry will desperately haunting you. Hmm.....sometimes it is like so for me....haha...

So, i have made up my mind now, change my exercise. It is advised to change type of exercise after a period of exercise right, in respect that our body will 'immune' with an exercise after a long period. Today, i tried to walk stair, it is really a good exercise, i just walked for 30 minutes, sweat downpours like rain...haha...keeps going...but, afterwards, my legs shaking like what....unable to be stable...well, just the first time, i wanna keep doing it...No more excuse not to exercise, want to be slim? CANNOT BY WORDS, BUT ACTION!!

What is the most important thing in my life?

It is quite a long ago since my last blog, figure out that i have less passion to write blog nowadays...Now, i gonna write sth that i apperceived in today's fellowship....What are the first notion came out when you saw this topic? When i saw this topic, i just blank, i don't know how to answer it....

"Let the Lord be the first in your life" "let Him be your root of wisdom" " let Him judge your life"...oh man, i am guilty that, i don't do that...Why, why i can't let Him be my first position, i always just put myself at first ranking...i hate that, and i am damn tired to let some burden be on my shoulder...Lord tells us you can commit your burden to Him. Yet, when i commit to Him, i still keep on asking, where is it, are Lord listen to me? i'm still impatient in waiting for His responses. huh..so contradict right? How to let Lord be my judge of life? This is the lesson of faith.......................

Lord, i am really tired with service now, and my focus was altered now...i can give a reason to myself that i don't want to go practice is because i don't like somebody, i am lazy to go...bla bla bla...i wish to pause a while, to recharge myself and get back the zealousness in olden days....Lord, i am in process of learning how to be sacrifice and not care for...if it is in Your liking, pls give me endurance to encounter it....Thank you Lord...

Bad experience...

Today, i get ready myself, prepared well and on the way to school swimming pool. I was so enthusiasted to go, as the pool at my apartment is just small one, and i never tried standard pool before...Therefore, i dated with friends to swim at the pool in my university. So, when i arrived there, there is no single of people, as not the time yet...Ok, so i wait for my friends to come...Finally, it's time to go...haha, it is so fun that i can swim throughout the pool with freestyle....first attempt.

After 45 minutes, i decided to go. So, i up first. As i need to rush for the bus to go home, so i just simply swill myself and rush out to the bus stop. Luckily, havent arrive yet. While waiting for the bus, i tidy up my wet clothes...In astoundment, my money lost! (just a small amout of money) Huh?! Did i leave out at the pool there? As it is not a big amount i just don't think about it. Fortunately, my watch is still there...I will be more distraught if i lost my watch...=P.

Then, the day after, when my friends asking me, did i lost anything yesterday? i just recalled that incident. They even lost more than me...Thanks God.. Oh man, there are thieves at the pool, and this is the first time they met with this, since they went there for many times already. Oh man, this is not the matter of money, but the matter of manner. How dare you grab and took something that is not belongs to you?! What's the matter with you? You are doing rip-off, you know...what did you learn in school, huh, thief?
Indeed, a bad experience for me...=(....What will happen next? Swipe handphone? Swipe more money?

p/s: When i think that my beg being grabbed by someone, i felt thrilled...yuck!!!

Heart

Today, while preparing the material for cell group, i felt enthusiasted and enjoy... where the heart is, where the motive is. As long as you put the fullest heart in it, you will never feel tired, but the joy...Thanks God, You made me to have a change of heart in facing cell group.

Being cell group leader until today, i did feel despair..Yet, Lord always has His remedy and it is never be late....I felt like cell group is one part of my life now....Feeling the transform of everyone, from dont want to share to willing to share, from afraid to brave...Well done everyone...Glory to the Lord....That's what the cell group that i wish for, open your heart, tell us what do you think and your feeling, let's us pray for you together. We are in one family...

Yet, she is the one now i most take thought for. Since started cell group, she just attend once and never come for the other time...absolutely different with previous sem...I admit it was my fault as i am not concern about her...i should ready myself to approach her, don't let her felt like she is an outsider...God, commit to You, pls never let her go...

Thankyou

Last few weeks, i heard a news from home. Mom told me that she went to church with Daddy. This is the first time they went to church by themselves even i was not beside them. When i heard this, i don't know what to say, besides Thankyou, Jesus...Tears rolling down, not teen, but the tear of joy...

I have been pray for them for more then 2 years. I asked Lord, When can i go to church together with my family, especially my parents? i did despair, sad, and grieve...i did suspicious about faith...but, Lord is how that miracle and incredible...He did listen to my prayer, He has His own time and way....When it is the timing, He will give you...Lord always safeguarding my family. If not, we will not be that close now, we will still in the old day, quarrels and conflicts flooded the house...since what day in the old day, one of my birthday wish is be far away from home, but now i treasure my family, more than anything...I love them...

Lord, Thanks, only You who are able to allure my parents...Thank you...Glory to the Lord...

Tick-tock

What is the tick-tock that reminded me just forgive people?

What is the tick-tock that reminded me just sacrifice myself?

What is the tick-tock that reminded me be lowlihead?

What is the tick-tock that reminded me be thanks-giving?

What is the tick-tock that reminded me you are so blessed?

IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS'S LOVE! He loves us first, just then, we can have life...

But, what did i do? I am an emotional gal, any claver or kidding may irritate me, then all nonsense came from my mouth....I always felt that, i have been neglected, i always be the last one to be informed, feeling unweighted...but, i never consider other's situation or feeling...even to my parents. I am too proud, too self-centered...i always hope that i can be the center of everyone...see, how proud i was...I am not in His liking. When Lord came to this world, He is just a baby in a bad manger, He don't want be famous, but be servant...Yet, i hard to serve, hard to sacrifice...

Still, He still loves me, even i was so perishing....He gave me a bunch of bosom friends who are willing to accept my flaws, who are willing to forgive my defect...He gave me parents who gave me fruitful love, He still gave me vita, hear my prayer....He gave you everything, then, what grief you still have? you are too blessed...

Farewell, girl...

She is so special...She brings a lot of fun and remembrance to us... She is a tough girl...you will definitely solute with her if you knew her, Peisee...

It's time, is time to say good bye....We all hard to get you out of our mind, you are so special to us....We have been living under one roof for 2 years, and now is time to give you the last huge...Pei See, in your graduation day, wish you all the best, in the future time, just go for it, but never over take Lord...let Him be your leader all the way...Wish you good luck!!

Gal, i just knew you for 2 years, but you are such influence to me...From you, i learnt how to be a good listener and learn to be kind-hearted. She always be the side who is suffer losses, but, she don't mind. She dare to sacrifice, just for the sake of others...i hard to do so, i always counting on my lose. She is a happy go lucky gal, but beneath the smile, tears rolling down. She seldom show the negative emotion, just she don't want to tamper with the friends besides. I hardly can do so...Even when she facing big burden, feeling so suffer, she will still give you a big smile..., ya, she is Pei See, a special friend to me....在她身上， 我看到大智若愚，大勇若怯这句话。我佩服她的勇气及大方。。。朋友，祝福你！！

Gal, now you are back to hometown, but you will always in our hearts.. Looking for the reunion day....May God bless you, forever and forever...

Beijing 2008

What a special day today!! I have been waiting for today for a long time ago, and now, it is coming, Beijing Olympic 2008....It is 10 hours to go from now....quite excited to watch the opening ceremony, to show to the world, the mistery of China!! The mistery of Olympic!!

However, the sanctitude of Olympic have been dismayed by political matter, by riot. It should not be like that, and it is quite unfair for the athelets...They have been trained for how many years, we don't know how much sweat and tear in there, just for one dream, to attend Olympic, to achieve a Gold for their countries. They just simply want to compete...a simple dream...It should be a peace and unite ceremony for the world...One World One Dream...Pls, stop every riots and egoistic actions...

It is the time, tonight, the opening ceremony will trigger the time until 24th of August...Let it be a wonderful olympic, no pain, no blood, no war... Good Luck, Beijing 2008...:)

Bird's nest florid at night

Cute FuWa - Welcome to Beijing!

Shoes collection

Now i know, i have a lot of shoes....okay, i admit, i like to buy shoes...haha...

When i go to church or special ocassion, i wear these...the high-heel shoes

This is the one i most like...for the moment..haha

Previously is this

But, i seldom buy this kind of shoes, as it swelters my legs and made it felt mugginess inside the shoes...This is the first wrapping shoes that i bought, as i like the pattern....

For the high-heel shoes, i always face this kind of problem...headache...The heelpiece often shelled...is it due to my walking posture? wondering...

Here comes the sport shoes...When i go to school,

I will wear this, but a bit spoiled already...i just wore it for almost two sems i think.

But, for this one, i just wore it for one time. Mom bought it for me in Miri, but it is a bit tighten and made my legs uncomfortable....I was tired in buying sport shoes, almost every two sems, i need to buy the new one...so, this time i decided...and, finally i have a better sport shoes...

The very first Nike shoes i bought...^^..i am loving it....

Hmm...then, what kind of shoe i wear when i go shopping?

This all owed to this shoes, if not, where i can walk and shopping for a long time to buy all that shoes??!! I like to wear flattie when i go shopping, if not, i will have terrible cramping legs...haha...

My collection of shoes...^^

P/S: Coming next, earrings collection.

原来我只是一个井底之蛙。。。

好不容易，这个学期的小组开始了。可能是最后的机会给我做这小组的组长，心中有好多好多的想法，好想好想做些我应该做，但还没去做的事。以前，我为小组付出太少了，我只是因责任而去做，为责任而服侍，为不让别人失望而去做。我总是以别人的标准衡量自己。每一刻我都感到疲惫，心灵的空虚。我从没问问我自己，你的心真的有在小组吗？ 你是为什么而做的？

一个学期过去了，你能为小组做的没剩多少时间了。昨天的小组，给我一个当头棒喝。原来我和其他拜偶像，信佛的，没什么两样，对自己的信仰一点都不了解，对自己的信仰有听没懂。只不过我比他们幸运点，因我相信的是今在，永在的真神。很多福音的故事，福音的真理，我都不知道。我很惭愧，因我亏欠了神。我承认我从没向身边的人传福音。他甚是爱我，但我有为他做过什么吗？只是自私的只把他的爱佔为己有。只因我害怕，害怕被别人问倒了。

我对自己的鞭策太宽了，只想得过且过，过了一天是一天。但，到基督再来的那天，我该拿什么去对他交代呢？神说，你没带一个灵魂来，你凭什么进入我的国？！

Desire

There is too much things i desired for..
Desired for vacation...
Desired for shopping...to buy a lot of things..
Desired for good achievement..
Desired for love....

Oh man....How greedy i was...I was so lose in last week... I expected i could achieve Dean list in this sem, but, i expected too high for it, i didn't get it, just a few few few point, i could achieve it...man, this is the 3rd time, the 3rd time i can get Dean list by a finger's breadth...i was so dissapointed at that time when i get to know those who get Dean list in last sem may have a meeting with Dean....I was lose... I don't desired too much, I just wish that i could get just once, just at least one time in my 4 years (8 semesters), but I didn't get, even once...I asked Lord..what do You want me to know? What do You want me to learn? patient? faith? i was totally lose my faith to Him at that time...Lord, is that you want me to know, the more I want, the more You dont want to give me? The feeling is just like........i don't know how to express....

In that whole day, i pretend myself to be happy, to be as usual, don't want to let anyone to see the true I...i was so sad actually at that time...even i was smiling, but not with the true smile..hard to understand right? u can try it yourself....

Again, I wish to meet my true love, but searching in 23 years, i haven't meet with him yet...the unknown him....feeling dissapointed with that....Where is my love?!!

But, Lord never forsake me...He still loves me...He still loves me....Just in last prayer meeting, He told me by the persons besides me, don't lose faith with Him, but with just believe and just simply be faith in Him....This song '坚定相信' gave a big nudge to me....I cried...The tear just rolling down my cheeks...God sacrificed Himself for you, for all of us to have a new life...but you lost faith in Him just because of a bagatelle...It is really a big waste for His love...ya....where is your faith? from mouth saying that you believe in Him, but how is your heart? i should not repeat my mistake ever and ever again...Now, i am not dare to desire, putting high expectation for everythings....I just want to be easy and simple, not too much desires, but just simple....I have been frightened by desire......

It is the 3rd week since i back to Penang...In the past 2 weeks, i was busy with church services... There are a lot of first tried...Thanks for giving chances...

p/s: Need to 'tidy up' my feeling to study....Actually no mood to study....

Idiot

How silly i was today... i did something damn stupid today....since there left 2 days before return Penang, so, i checked my flight ticket.....Out of my mind, i didn't have...oh man, i was damn thrilled and crazy...you know...i guess i did book it last time, but there is no flight ticket? i searched my mail box, phoned my friends, wake my dad from nap (for sure, been scolded... (-.-))..Again, i was very sure that i did book it last time, so i checked my mail box desperately again and again...FINALLY....FINALLY....I FOUND IT....Thanks God...if not, i need to spend RM350++ for another flight ticket....^^..LOL

How time flies...2 months past just in the blink of an eye....thrilled...this is the first i stayed at home, being a poppet for two months...i never did it in last few sem breaks, as i felt boring at home...haha....feeling good also staying at home...
After this holiday, time will pass even faster...coming July will be an opening for my final year and the last sem i sit in the lecture halls. I have been in uni for 3 years and coming 4th year, i will much more treasure it, and, as well, my cell group. I hope i can improve myself, to let them more enjoyable in it...

In this two months break, i was factually felt that how family is pretty important to me....In the past time, i made up my mind to stay in Penang for my carrier...day by day, now, i was more enthusiasted to stay in my hometown, Sibu...Life is short, but, as long as it is wonderful...i want to have more time with my family....and, serve them, while i still able...Mom and dad were gettin g older, and is time to enjoy a happy life....

《永不离弃的爱》

四川，缅甸的人民以及世界各地的灾民。别怕，有上帝与你们同在...加油！

‘涨’声响起

今天扭开收音机
听到‘涨’声响起来
我的心中有无限感慨
多少折扣不在
多少价钱已更改
我还没来得及反应啊

好像初次的风暴
听到第一声涨价
我的眼泪忍不住掉下来
经过多少失败
经过多少等待
告诉自己要忍耐

‘涨’声响起来 我心更明白
油价吃掉我们了啊！
‘涨’声响起来 我心更明白
如今要缩紧腰裤了！

‘涨’声响起来 我心更明白
面包和米实在贵啊！
‘涨’声响起来 我心更明白
大家一起种番薯吧！

p/s: 今天突然有感而发，好想对现在世界的局面怒吼！每天翻开报纸，扭开收音机，就是看到到处的涨！去逛个街，都听见大家的怒声，涨声，不知道这种的生活还会持续多久呢？还是它会变得更严重呢? 人民将如何面对未来呢？

It is really terrble now...

Since back from Sabah, really felt like wanna suffocated...life became hard and hard...everything up, up and up...and, today is the last day of the RM1.91 per one liter for fuel, then, tomorrow it will be RM2.70 per one liter..Oh man....it is really terrible now....bombastic increase of fuel price, indicate that, nothing will be excluded to be low the price...

What's wrong with our world? Now there are 37 countries facing foodstuff crisis, eight hundred million people facing starvation. We gonna have nothing to eat, gonna eat insects, as suggested by some American's scientis...Global warming changed the world climate, polar bears now are endangered species, glacier melting at their places made them unable to survive anymore....The whole world is in risk now....Did you feel the conjuncture? 502, cyclone Nargis in Myanmar, 512, a magnitude of 8.0 quake in China....just 10 days apart, there are two disasters which eroded two countries, how many life been perished? how many family been ruined? Cry with no tear, the ever heartrending....

Today, the ineluctability fuel price hike was announced by government. After today's midnight, you need to buy petrol with RM2.70 per liter, increament by RM0.79. So, prole as we, line up at petrol station just to have the last, can it be cheap petrol? i really qued for 45 minutes to get the refill, not just once, but twice, as the credit card can't use for the first time, therefore need to run for the second time...my legs are really ache now... :(...

Hmm...do you ever think that why we are so reliable to motor or car? Have you ever consider to take bike? hmm...not bad too...it is environment gentle right? Now, have to think twice in spending every sen...and less harm our world...It is you and I's responsibility...don't forget, you are ought to do so...

p/s: why i can't upload the photos? i actually wanna upload some photos showing the terrible que at petrol station....sigh....

Some one in my mind....

This is the very first time i write a post about him..he is some one that still in my mind, even though he may not remember me anymore...

I knew him while i was in Form 5, after i finished SPM examination. Like others, doing a part time job at a supermarket, wanna earn some pocket moneyla.. A few weeks after, he came and work part time job too. Still clearly remember that, my first impression to him, he is some one playful and not serious in working...But, never judge a book from its cover...my impression reversed by his good manner...He is a nice guy indeed, he cares for the friends beside and helpful...the pivot is, he is quite handsome....hahah.... =l....

What most delighted me was, when other friends telling me that, he has feeling on me....ehhmmmm...i admit, i have feelings on him too...He was the very first one that i have such a strong feeling....Since that, i don't know how to react to him, and try to shift off from him...i was such a craven...i just like suffocated while he is standing besides me....ohman.....abashment!! We don't have much interaction, just help each other doing the works...and he never profess his feeling to me....so, i don't take any serious on it after that...And, after few months, the results declared, for sure, it's time to say good bye~~hahha...we just left like so...Until now, we never contact each other.....=(

Now, i think, if i be the first position, ask about his feeling, maybe i won't regret now....haha....what a soul feeling now.. May it be my lesson to alert me to grasp my fate next time...

i wish to have a part time job!

hmm.....it is the second week i back to sibu..i haven't get my part time yet...wondering....i told myself, never go back to supermarket to do such work anymore, but if i can't get any, will i surrender and go back to there to work again? oh my...it is so agony now....i dont want to go back anymore, it is indeed tiring you know, following the shift, work at night...yuck...dont want it anymore....it's 2 months, such a long time you know....what to do withink these two months, other than just watch tv, online, eating, sleep, anything? i was so bored with this kind of dull living.....i wish to have a part time job! really...:(

地球怒吼了！

从前，地球是那么的美，人们也很爱它。地球和人们间有着互相依赖的关系。但，人们的野心越来越大了。。。
地球："人们啊，我觉得我有点发烧了"
人们：“有那么严重吗？只是没了几棵树，没了几片海，没了几座冰山。。。只是小件事。我们
做那么多还不是让你更加的美丽，更加的发展。"
地球：“是吗？那么为什么我的温度一直在上升呢？我真的觉得我要爆炸了。你们看，你们都不
珍惜我。我这里破洞，那里破洞。为什么不要帮我补补呢？你们这样做，我也保护不了你们了”
人们：“好啦，好啦，我们会尽量少开冷气，少开灯。”
地球：“人们啊，为什么我放在北极和南极的冰山一直在融化呢？现在，到处都是水灾，都是灾
害，都是你们咎由自取的！没有粮食，发生饥荒，都是你们一手造成的！”

地球开始怒吼了。。。它已忍无可忍了。。。

人们：“地球啊，我们快要没有食物吃了。你看，现在真的很热啊！好多的生态都改变了！为什
么会发生这些事呢？”
地球：“你们问我？！不如我来告诉你们吧。。。你们砍了树，可是不会种树。车驾了跑，烟就
到处喷。工厂天天喷烟。你们也好爱太阳的‘热情’啊，散发多多的二氧化碳，把‘热情’都关在里面了。碧绿的海，被你们弄得肮肮脏脏的。你们以为海里的生物是铁打的吗？不会死吗？你们现在才关心，会太迟了吗？”
人们："。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。”
地球：“你们已经剥夺了你们下一代生存的机会了。。。一切都已成定局了”

最近，发生太多的天灾。中国的大雪暴，全球的粮食危机，温室效应，大海啸。。。读到这些新闻，感到很痛心，很惭愧。身为人类的我们，我们能够做什么呢？有太多我们可以做的，只是，你愿不愿意...大家，爱我们的地球吧。。。停止一切的破坏吧！

is it good to have a long holiday?

It is really heartreatening....i thought it is mine, but she grabbed out from my hand now...damn...what a bull shit promise....can't you just give me one chance, just one month, then what you want to do, you may just do it....ya, maybe i should not blame you for the broken promise....you have your right to do so. I have changed back to my previous life again...

It is what a sudden shock, that i actually got a part time job, just happen in this morning, i went back with flying legs, telling my mom and dad, even my grandma about this news. i didn't have any expectation for that job at first as i just can work for tw0 months, but she gave me the chance...ok, i was so thankful to her....but now, she grabbed back the chance for me...the reason is, she found the permanent....i was bothering to find another part time job again....haiz.............

Where is the way out? it just like what is happen in last year, still fresh in my mind. Last time i also so bothering with the part time job, until there is no way out, then no deal, i need to go supermarket, work as cashier, following the shift. But i don't want such job this time, i was so tired with it....i have no time for my family, the time is not my time...haiz...so contradict right?! There are jobs everywhere, just you yourself can't be humble to take it....let's me be a bit selfish this time...i don't want do the same job in every break....

Huh..is it good to have a long holiday? i not really think so...actually i am a bit nervous with the long break, just like i am sth useless, no point, no target everyday...no motion in life...the same old day....Lord, pls listen to my prayer. I was so thankful for you lead me to that job, but it is no more now, can You pls give me the another one? let's everything be in Your hands....amen.....

Will He still love me?

figure out that, i am too over now, i have challenging God! i knew that there is something that i should not do, but, always failed in doing something that is not in His liking....i am so sad now as i felt that i am no more close with God!! is it numb with it? always heard the same and same things? my heart is a bit closed...i felt so scary now as just i am just alone....nobody with me, nobody know me!! i even reject God to be close with me...Will He still love me? love me this rebellious child?.......i don't want to be forsaken by Father......I DON'T WANT!!!