is it good to have a long holiday?

It is really heartreatening....i thought it is mine, but she grabbed out from my hand now...damn...what a bull shit promise....can't you just give me one chance, just one month, then what you want to do, you may just do it....ya, maybe i should not blame you for the broken promise....you have your right to do so. I have changed back to my previous life again...

It is what a sudden shock, that i actually got a part time job, just happen in this morning, i went back with flying legs, telling my mom and dad, even my grandma about this news. i didn't have any expectation for that job at first as i just can work for tw0 months, but she gave me the chance...ok, i was so thankful to her....but now, she grabbed back the chance for me...the reason is, she found the permanent....i was bothering to find another part time job again....haiz.............

Where is the way out? it just like what is happen in last year, still fresh in my mind. Last time i also so bothering with the part time job, until there is no way out, then no deal, i need to go supermarket, work as cashier, following the shift. But i don't want such job this time, i was so tired with it....i have no time for my family, the time is not my time...haiz...so contradict right?! There are jobs everywhere, just you yourself can't be humble to take it....let's me be a bit selfish this time...i don't want do the same job in every break....

Huh..is it good to have a long holiday? i not really think so...actually i am a bit nervous with the long break, just like i am sth useless, no point, no target everyday...no motion in life...the same old day....Lord, pls listen to my prayer. I was so thankful for you lead me to that job, but it is no more now, can You pls give me the another one? let's everything be in Your hands....amen.....