How silly i was today... i did something damn stupid today....since there left 2 days before return Penang, so, i checked my flight ticket.....Out of my mind, i didn't have...oh man, i was damn thrilled and crazy...you know...i guess i did book it last time, but there is no flight ticket? i searched my mail box, phoned my friends, wake my dad from nap (for sure, been scolded... (-.-))..Again, i was very sure that i did book it last time, so i checked my mail box desperately again and again...FINALLY....FINALLY....I FOUND IT....Thanks God...if not, i need to spend RM350++ for another flight ticket....^^..LOL
How time flies...2 months past just in the blink of an eye....thrilled...this is the first i stayed at home, being a poppet for two months...i never did it in last few sem breaks, as i felt boring at home...haha....feeling good also staying at home...
After this holiday, time will pass even faster...coming July will be an opening for my final year and the last sem i sit in the lecture halls. I have been in uni for 3 years and coming 4th year, i will much more treasure it, and, as well, my cell group. I hope i can improve myself, to let them more enjoyable in it...
In this two months break, i was factually felt that how family is pretty important to me....In the past time, i made up my mind to stay in Penang for my carrier...day by day, now, i was more enthusiasted to stay in my hometown, Sibu...Life is short, but, as long as it is wonderful...i want to have more time with my family....and, serve them, while i still able...Mom and dad were gettin g older, and is time to enjoy a happy life....
Idiot
‘涨’声响起
听到‘涨’声响起来
我的心中有无限感慨
多少折扣不在
多少价钱已更改
我还没来得及反应啊
好像初次的风暴
听到第一声涨价
我的眼泪忍不住掉下来
经过多少失败
经过多少等待
告诉自己要忍耐
‘涨’声响起来 我心更明白
油价吃掉我们了啊！
‘涨’声响起来 我心更明白
如今要缩紧腰裤了！
‘涨’声响起来 我心更明白
面包和米实在贵啊！
‘涨’声响起来 我心更明白
大家一起种番薯吧！
It is really terrble now...
Since back from Sabah, really felt like wanna suffocated...life became hard and hard...everything up, up and up...and, today is the last day of the RM1.91 per one liter for fuel, then, tomorrow it will be RM2.70 per one liter..Oh man....it is really terrible now....bombastic increase of fuel price, indicate that, nothing will be excluded to be low the price...
What's wrong with our world? Now there are 37 countries facing foodstuff crisis, eight hundred million people facing starvation. We gonna have nothing to eat, gonna eat insects, as suggested by some American's scientis...Global warming changed the world climate, polar bears now are endangered species, glacier melting at their places made them unable to survive anymore....The whole world is in risk now....Did you feel the conjuncture? 502, cyclone Nargis in Myanmar, 512, a magnitude of 8.0 quake in China....just 10 days apart, there are two disasters which eroded two countries, how many life been perished? how many family been ruined? Cry with no tear, the ever heartrending....
Today, the ineluctability fuel price hike was announced by government. After today's midnight, you need to buy petrol with RM2.70 per liter, increament by RM0.79. So, prole as we, line up at petrol station just to have the last, can it be cheap petrol? i really qued for 45 minutes to get the refill, not just once, but twice, as the credit card can't use for the first time, therefore need to run for the second time...my legs are really ache now... :(...
Hmm...do you ever think that why we are so reliable to motor or car? Have you ever consider to take bike? hmm...not bad too...it is environment gentle right? Now, have to think twice in spending every sen...and less harm our world...It is you and I's responsibility...don't forget, you are ought to do so...
p/s: why i can't upload the photos? i actually wanna upload some photos showing the terrible que at petrol station....sigh....
Some one in my mind....
This is the very first time i write a post about him..he is some one that still in my mind, even though he may not remember me anymore...
I knew him while i was in Form 5, after i finished SPM examination. Like others, doing a part time job at a supermarket, wanna earn some pocket moneyla.. A few weeks after, he came and work part time job too. Still clearly remember that, my first impression to him, he is some one playful and not serious in working...But, never judge a book from its cover...my impression reversed by his good manner...He is a nice guy indeed, he cares for the friends beside and helpful...the pivot is, he is quite handsome....hahah.... =l....
What most delighted me was, when other friends telling me that, he has feeling on me....ehhmmmm...i admit, i have feelings on him too...He was the very first one that i have such a strong feeling....Since that, i don't know how to react to him, and try to shift off from him...i was such a craven...i just like suffocated while he is standing besides me....ohman.....abashment!! We don't have much interaction, just help each other doing the works...and he never profess his feeling to me....so, i don't take any serious on it after that...And, after few months, the results declared, for sure, it's time to say good bye~~hahha...we just left like so...Until now, we never contact each other.....=(
Now, i think, if i be the first position, ask about his feeling, maybe i won't regret now....haha....what a soul feeling now.. May it be my lesson to alert me to grasp my fate next time...
i wish to have a part time job!
地球怒吼了！
地球："人们啊，我觉得我有点发烧了"
人们：“有那么严重吗？只是没了几棵树，没了几片海，没了几座冰山。。。只是小件事。我们
做那么多还不是让你更加的美丽，更加的发展。"
地球：“是吗？那么为什么我的温度一直在上升呢？我真的觉得我要爆炸了。你们看，你们都不
珍惜我。我这里破洞，那里破洞。为什么不要帮我补补呢？你们这样做，我也保护不了你们了”
人们：“好啦，好啦，我们会尽量少开冷气，少开灯。”
地球：“人们啊，为什么我放在北极和南极的冰山一直在融化呢？现在，到处都是水灾，都是灾
害，都是你们咎由自取的！没有粮食，发生饥荒，都是你们一手造成的！”
地球开始怒吼了。。。它已忍无可忍了。。。
人们：“地球啊，我们快要没有食物吃了。你看，现在真的很热啊！好多的生态都改变了！为什
么会发生这些事呢？”
地球：“你们问我？！不如我来告诉你们吧。。。你们砍了树，可是不会种树。车驾了跑，烟就
到处喷。工厂天天喷烟。你们也好爱太阳的‘热情’啊，散发多多的二氧化碳，把‘热情’都关在里面了。碧绿的海，被你们弄得肮肮脏脏的。你们以为海里的生物是铁打的吗？不会死吗？你们现在才关心，会太迟了吗？”
人们："。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。”
地球：“你们已经剥夺了你们下一代生存的机会了。。。一切都已成定局了”
最近，发生太多的天灾。中国的大雪暴，全球的粮食危机，温室效应，大海啸。。。读到这些新闻，感到很痛心，很惭愧。身为人类的我们，我们能够做什么呢？有太多我们可以做的，只是，你愿不愿意...大家，爱我们的地球吧。。。停止一切的破坏吧！
is it good to have a long holiday?
It is really heartreatening....i thought it is mine, but she grabbed out from my hand now...damn...what a bull shit promise....can't you just give me one chance, just one month, then what you want to do, you may just do it....ya, maybe i should not blame you for the broken promise....you have your right to do so. I have changed back to my previous life again...
It is what a sudden shock, that i actually got a part time job, just happen in this morning, i went back with flying legs, telling my mom and dad, even my grandma about this news. i didn't have any expectation for that job at first as i just can work for tw0 months, but she gave me the chance...ok, i was so thankful to her....but now, she grabbed back the chance for me...the reason is, she found the permanent....i was bothering to find another part time job again....haiz.............
Where is the way out? it just like what is happen in last year, still fresh in my mind. Last time i also so bothering with the part time job, until there is no way out, then no deal, i need to go supermarket, work as cashier, following the shift. But i don't want such job this time, i was so tired with it....i have no time for my family, the time is not my time...haiz...so contradict right?! There are jobs everywhere, just you yourself can't be humble to take it....let's me be a bit selfish this time...i don't want do the same job in every break....
Huh..is it good to have a long holiday? i not really think so...actually i am a bit nervous with the long break, just like i am sth useless, no point, no target everyday...no motion in life...the same old day....Lord, pls listen to my prayer. I was so thankful for you lead me to that job, but it is no more now, can You pls give me the another one? let's everything be in Your hands....amen.....
Will He still love me?
where to go?
the reason that i decided to go Langkawi is my friends are going too and some of them are final year, so, wanna have the last trip with them...and, going to a trip with a group of friends will be very fun, right? taking the map, explore the place ourselves...whao....sounds challenging...
finally my dream to Singapore coming to be real. what to say, it is so complicated as we need to decide where to go in the first time, cos, no money no talk, k?! Whatever la.....We plan to go there after we finish our final...it is quite enthusiasted now and so looking forward for it...i am going to Singapore...hahahah....mum and dad this time have no reason to reject me, and thanks for their permission....**wink ^o^LOL......
But, haven't start final already plan to have vacation, you must be in crazy now....whatever, i have been 'compressed' for a long time...study week is quite boring and routine, doing same thing for everyday, what la...revision la....haiz....whatever!! strike for it, never give up and simply say tired, it's your responsibility to study!! GAMBATEH!!!
Life of late...
yeah...events on saturday night is really a great memorable for all of us...it is quite touched this time as 3 of my housemates is going to gratuate in coming convocation...it is quite nervous and complicated after gratuate, as we have to decide our way, our carrier, our future...Hey!!let go those things, let God to decide it...His time and decision is never expected by any one of us...we cannot be HIM...if we really commit everything to Him with faith, there really will be something that cannot be expected by you and i...why we still need to be afraid as He is always by our sides? wondering...i confest, sometimes, i will...my faith with Him is still not stable...Father, My Lord, pls let be to be more dependent on you, with myself, i can't do anything...
found out that, i became non-chalant with people and things around me...is it business covered your eyes? tiredness enclosed your heart? just think about it...
study week is started, but i am still searching my mood to study...not yet have mood to start my revision...but, cannot delay anymore...just a short study week for me to study...Qin, arrange your mood and mind...don't waste your time anymore...
p/s: this blog was written in library 2 in USM...haha...suddenly have a mood to write...have to stop here...many people is waiting to use the pc..
Deepest sorrow to lost of Chen Dian Xia
Her impressive laugh and her significant spectacles frame, deeply infixed in everyone's heart. She is a happy-go-lucky celebrity. Yet, who knows, behind the laugh, sorrow and sadness haunted her....Liver cancer had grabbed her life...
a bit shocked while get to know this news...still remember that i watch her tv shows since i was still a child...what a great fun while watching her shows....yet, with the passing of time, wealth is there, but health is no longer there...she was peach in God now....
Indeed, treasure when you are still able...not let it be a great remorse....
Deepest sympathy to her family...May they be more doughty....
Chinese New Year
Since started open-house, met with a lot of relatives...yo...the springal in olden day, now turned to gorgeous gals and handsome boys...how time flies!!! haiz...cannot deny that i was old already...even my youngest brother now is taller than i (cannot shout at him anymore..=(...)...no more young lo....hahah....glad to saw that they were still well-being and stay healthy...
BUT!!! it is a bit carking that everyone asking me about my beau!! hey, no rush, k?! i can't do anything for it, it is all about fate and luck...i also wish i could meet with someone who is able to catch my heart, who is able to make my heart ramming and make myself suffocate, but, i haven't meet with him yet...no rush, k?!! Let's Lord to lead me to meet with him...
Haha...it was just weird that we all circulating about our future...talking about $$$....it is reality everywhere, everytime, we need $$$. Am i too realistic? money-minded?? it is so weird!!
ya, i am taking education, that's mean that i will be teacher in future, right?but frankly speaking, it is not my wish since early...i don't want to be teacher. it was so strong in past month.... i even blame myself why i don't insist on not taking it at that time? but i told myself...pls bear in mind, just for the moment....no promise that i won't fall in love with it in future...maybe i will...who know?? Teacher...what a word that i ask much nowadays...
Dad and Mom were still the same, still happy-go-lucky. Ha...what an oddball Dad this year, he plays firecrackers with brother..so funny looking at Dad playing it, Dad is having rejuvenation... huhh .....-.-!!! Well, my big brother, what i could say, he is indeed different with the old him...What a surprise, he wants to buy a massage chair for parents as new year presents....if in old days, he never consider about parents' painstaking...what a big change for him... i am so thankful for what Lord had been done for him...even my big brother is not believe in Christian, Lord still bless him and renew his life...What a big blessing to my family, everyone are still healthy...the ever best present given by Lord...
How fast the time flies....10 days of holiday, left two days....need to return penang soon, haven't cram the exhausted vigor...my student life still left 14 months...after that, the end of my student life..haha..need to plan about my future...haiz...don't see any 'light' in front, still dunno where is my way....
p/s: GONG XI FATT CHOY!!! HAVE A BLESSED HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR...
what a funny day today...
Today, i have a test which is the ever fastest test that i finished just within 5 minutes....tell you what, just 10 ticks, our answers for the test is just 10 ticks...what a loaf of crap!! we study so hard but you just gave us such a test, will us satisfy?! i am absolutely stunned by it...a bit furious actually...but never mind la..at least it is simple, no need squeeze my brain to answer it....haha....
ok, then, with flying legs, we wait for the bus to go home....well well well, out of the blue, the road was blocked by the cars beside...Darn it, cool our heels in the bus for 30 minutes....=(
I crave that i am at my home sweet home now...i am really wanted to go home...sleeping on my bed, with mom and dad besides me, have a simple breakfast with family.... wao...what a wonderful moment...BUT!!! need to pay of it.. lotz of assignments which are going to killing me after return to penang...after 10 days, return to hell again...ahhhhahahahahahah........really suffer!! what a student life!!! All bothersssssssss... i warn you, i want to toss you all aside...Never disturb my Chinese New Year mood!
Now, i need you all help... i am going to have an oral presentation after 10 days. but, i have no ideas about the topics to present. Much ideas popping out, but just a short while, then, it disappears again...so, if you have any good ideas, do share with me....i am much much thankyou for your help....just any topics you think that it is interesting and easy to elaborate.....thanks ya.!!
is time to sleep...
blogging for the 3rd time in Jan
phew...it is 2 weeks left before i back to hometown for my chinese new year....i wanted most to go home now...i miss my home so much...found out that i am closer with my big brother now...if in the past, we seldom have a long conversation...hmm..maybe we are far apart, as i am in Penang, and he is in Sabah, and we can only reunion once in a year, that's why i appreciate every moment i have with my family....
it is really a long time no blogging...blogging here is a place where i can examine myself, thinking deeply and clearly what i had done in the past, what i had said, what others had done, what i hope for the future...but, sometimes, need to think a lot, thus, I took a long time to finish a post...haha....too prolix..
It's sounds weird that someone i am familiar with now are no longer familiar with...They were changed or they are not changed, i am the one changed? wordless...ya, there is no harm to change, as environment altered our life, even we don't want at all, but, pls, be the positive one...
i had lead my cell group for the first two times...Thanks for God's guidance, everytime i pray, i felt so released, just like a big rock removed from my shoulder....but, still got a little tension la...i afraid i made the atm just like in Artic...everyone freeze to 'death'..hey, it is really uneasy to let everyone to talk, need to persuade and persuade again....i know, it takes time...not everyone have the sentiment to share, they have their comfort zone...Give time to them, be patient...At the same time, so thankful to them who are so bla bla bla.....if without you all, i am just speechless...and just panic there...pls forgive for my nescience, i will try hard to learn!!
Learn to abase myself
Since the clock of 2008 started to run, i have no pause for it... indeed a bit tired lately...i went for a leadership camp in last weekend. i just as if forced to be there, if i am not a leader, i wont be there...the melancholy feeling haunted me few days before i go to the camp...since i sat on the bus, reached the destination, feeling so depressed, as if nobody understand me..ya, just call me cynic..just like wanna throw a tantrum to anyone at there!! Why force me to go there!!!
Yet, i want to proclaim one thing...I am expecting that i will be very suffer in this camp...i tell myself...don't want to join any programme, don't want follow the rules, and want to ruin all programmes...but i didn't do so...yet, i am glad and thanskgiving i have been there, flabbergasted that i have this kinds of peaceful feeling after the camp ended...i learnt a lot, somethings that really gave me a pretty big nudge ...
i never know that, i am such a proud and sinful man. i never be humble and humility never grow within me. i never follow Lord's wish. i asked myself, why being a cell group leader is on par with fall deep into the pit of no return?! it was just weird?!!!!!!!!!!! I really hate myself..i am sinful as i breach my promise to Lord. I promised to Him that i will try my very best, but, the job not yet started i gave up already...i am afraid, i am timid..Yet, Lord told us, 'For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.'. yea...He is mighty God, why i still need to be afraid if i am really humble in Him...As i haven't abase myself, i am still afraid...don't let yourself regret, if you still have chance to service Him.
Much of grouses, even myself also bored with it...ha....sounds weird...
To everyone, what is your 1st impression to a Christian? holy? good manner? kind-hearted? friendly? or hypocrite? just have a chat with my beloved mom last day about her view to Christian...just then, i knew that she don't believe in Christian...for her, Christian=hypocrite...step into the church with a face, with another face again outside the church...this is what her impression to Christian...my heart felt overwhelmed and dire sad. i cried. Yet, mom said that, she won't hold back my belief and religious... she even encourages me...i know she still have little believe with Lord...
Lord, what should i do? with myself, i can't do anything...i have no power! i need your support...just then, i know, i can only affect my family with my own life and character...she don't believe is because of the sham christians, then i need to sober her up with the real...with my life...mom, dad, Lord will never forsake you!!
Until today, again, my table covered with notes and exercises again..haiz...student's life is like so...keeps going ....be reminded, without Lord, you are nothing!!
Happy New Year!!
Actually i am indeed a bit numb with celebration...even not feeling high with it...Yuck...what a bizarrerie feeling...maybe is due to my aging ..lol...
Anyway...we all are blessed, as we had come to today right? Wish you all have a fruitful and blessed 2008!!! Everyday indeed is a gift to you and me...Cheer!!
p/s:just the first day of new year, the air ticket annoyed all of us...Up upupppppppppppp..so hate looking at the air ticket price.........=(
New year wishes
It is Christmas today, what a big day to everyone...It's birthday of our Lord.. Happy Birthday, Dear Lord....
It is drawing a close to year 2007..whao...how fast the time is zooming...again, another year is going to be history, everything is drawn a close with the past of time, be the memories...be the recall
Here come my prayer for coming New Year, 2008...
I love my country, Malaysia.. I enjoy reading news, but, it is really feeling sick and sad of reading those heartrending news...it is such a great grief....
All Malaysian, can you sense the unpeaceful brouhaha in our country? We live in a multi-racial, multi-religious, multi-lingual society... At one time or another, our country are famous with it's peaceful, races' integrity...albeit we are not as develop as other countries...but at least, we are happy and hold together...Are we forgotten the moment we hand-in-hand, moving towards the same target, the same goal? No denial, we are 'degenerating'...the social safety is going down the drain...everyone became more non-chalant....what rape, murder, riot, inflation, is non of my business.....don't you ever aware of this? or you just pay attention to fashion, the latest mobile phone....bla bla bla...so forth...Come on, sober up!!! don't let it to rampant...We are in danger!! Dear gov...what is playing in your mind now? thinking of where to have occation? thinking of what brand new cars to buy?? Do you ever think of us?
I wish there will be no more disaster, no more global warming, no more pollution, no more killing of animals....pls, love our mother nature...the green land, the seas, the forests, the hills...don't just let our earth covered with skyscapers building....
To my family...
Thanks Lord, i am indeed grateful with my living now...eventhough there is a great flood at my home, i still thanksgiving...Thanks for His protection and great love to my family...Even if in a tough situation, mom and dad are not desperating, they are still happy-go-lucky...haha...That's my parents...
Regarding my family, i pray for them, everyday...They haven't see the miracle of Lord. Their life are still without Jesus...I bloodly hope that, one day, they will profess the faith to Lord, have a renewed life...just like what i experience...God really will make a way...Comparing my life with before, i am indeed empty...no joyance, no thankgiving, and never threasuring....what a great pity... But now, i have a change of life...everyday, for sure a great present for me....
To myself...
I always tried hard to do my very best, but, sometimes the results is out of my expectation...Just the incident in last few days indeed a great sorrow to me...just some kinds of weird. In essence, this is my first time, to start a new attempt, but what bring back to me is despair....Ha... maybe i should not draw a summing-up too early...it's still a long way to go..i should think like this, see, how wondorous is our Lord...how creative He is..He creates so many kinds of people, with different personalities, habits, temper, characters...whao...that's why everyone of us is exclusive, the one and the only...
If some one is not like what you expected, just ignore it...it's not a big deal...And, the most important is, how is your heart deal with your cell group...since you had promised to lead, then no way for you to regret ...you reap what you sow...What you done is just for HIM, my Lord....try your very best!!
i wish myself will not be a baby girl anymore...wish to have a change in coming year, sure the good one la...i wish i could do that....
phew....what a long grouses....In fact, it is my voice of heart...In a new year, everything will be changed, maybe sometimes will be a great letdown, but for sure, one thing that will never be altered, is THE LOVE OF JESUS...EMMANUEL!!
Moody
New semester is going to start soon. Actually, i am still in holiday honeymoon mood...now, woke up early in the morning is such a big suffer for me...haiz...
I took an English paper this semester which is different with my friends. And now, i am leaving my comfort zon where i may not go to the same class with the same group of friends...I need to meet with the new faces...So far, i am a bit worry about it, afraid that i can't handle the works and so forth....maybe i am just much ado than nothing, it won't be that difficult as what i thought...i should think in positive way...should learn to be more sociable and not just stay in my comfort zone...it won't be any sake for yourself...And, you are not alone, Dear Father is always by your side...How could you forget HIM...
Another thing bugging me...i am giving a chance to be cell group leader in this semester..but i confess, i am not ready yet. you gave me such a big mission to me, i can only keeping my mum. nothing to say.......................try my very best to live up to what i had promised...
It is big flood at my hometown, my home...Again, flood is again ruined my house...Never ending....Enough is enough...you will never know how is my feeling of depression if you never come through the nightmare...
worry about my home....worry about my parents and siblings...
