Yea, I’m in a relationship now, and I was full with doubts now actually..I really wonder am I making the right decision for both of us…I m still wonder am I really like him or just want to taste the feeling of in a relationship….the so called I’m no longer available…
Before I go to meet him, I was struggling in the prayer convention.. I kept praying, for Holy Spirit and God to tell me, what I should do later on, as I know this is the nite that I’m going to make the decision, an important decision. On the spot, the preaching of Pastor James Shia touching me with the same scripture again, ‘Do not afraid..continue to move on..Don’t just asking, try to pause and listen to what spirit is gonna tell you…’Alright, I prayed…
He came to fetch me after the prayer convention, it’s Saturday nite…I gave him a book, entitled ‘ When Boy meets Girl’ by Joshua Harries. I want him to finish reading this book first before we have any next movement. What surprised me, he only left the last chapter to be finished. After we had a long chat, sure in open air area, he asked me what our present mode is. I replied him, it’s still complicated…he seems disappointed with my answer, but at that moment, my heart telling me that, you should give him a positive answer, the answer that you want to let him know two months ago…. Please don’t drag him anymore…yea…..he is still the same, saying that he will give me more time, if I’m still not ready yet…Oh man…he is backward again…he wants to give me more time…I was quite tired in all of these in guessing my own feeling, the some sort of grey area…it’s quite tiring….We silent for a while…it is so quiet as we are on our way back home….chillll…..I took the deep breath, and told him…alright, my answer is I accept you…Oh man! I said it out! I still wonder how I will say it out! He hold my hand and said, I will never let go this hand….and I was surprisingly excited! is this what called fall in love? This is the starting of my first love at the age of 26…=)
However, we went to the Methodist Prayer Convention yesterday afternoon. While I was praying, terror suddenly haunted me…and I wonder why I have this kind of feeling…it’s the first day we hitched together as companion. I did enjoy at first, but after the prayer, horror haunted me until now….he is a Catholic, but I’m Methodist, religion is the main reason why I felt like that…
I wish we could talk more about Jesus and not about us….
I wish we could praise the Lord together, but he seems not interested…
I wish we could pray for the same things, but seems everything is just by words…
I suddenly felt insecure….and doubts…….
Is this the first love that I’m going to have?
Is this the first love that Lord wants me to have?
Is it the right time I start the relationship?
5 comments:
Have faith on jesus, swee king.
It is God that gives/takes. When he takes something from you, you cant reject you. When God gives something to you, you shall accept it with thank.
My ex-girlfriend is a member of local church and i am Methodist. But we still receive the blessing from God until the God decide something better for us.
Methodist, Catholic, local church are actually coming from the same God, but us, the human, try to specialize/divide it into what-we-called different branch of God belief, ie. local church, methodist, catholic and etc.
But our love to God is still the same.
还有一个方法消除你的疑虑。就是你和你的男友见牧师和师母，或其他年长的长老，来一个心理，心灵上的沟通。
为什么我这样说？因为我以前追我前女友时，我是过5关斩6将式的与牧师师母“面试“，一起吃饭，沟通交流。年轻人可能思想不够成熟，有些东西可能没考虑到。通过交流，你们可能会对未来/家庭/主内的另一半有更多的体会。
还记得，我第一次和师母吃饭，就被问：什么是家庭？如何追女友，他们都不问。他们问比较多关于基督，比如认识基督，受洗，观念等。
看到你这篇blog，我突然想起我的前女友。不过那是一个美好的回忆，因为我们共同扶持。
希望对你有帮助。也祝福你被主保守。
King Ung, I talk with him after i posted this post....ya....indeed, communication is essential in a relationship..we talk lots and both of us give faith to each other and give faith to GOD...we commit it to God, as He brought us together, then sure HE will never forsake us as well....yea, this is my first love and this is the guy that im going to hand in hand with....
We are apart now, as he was back to his working place today....even though it is, i felt so warm as God is within us, HE is holding our hands together now...
If we are not for each other, God will left our hands and bring us to the right one....
remind myself again, WITH FAITH IN GOD, THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR!
Thanks King Ung, for your comments here...do you have gal fren now?
Wah, I never thought religion influence so much. I also chasing after a Methodist gal and I am not even Christian. Hmm, I some time also wonder she haven't accept me because of this. All are chinese yet so much difference, headache.
i dont have any girlfriend at the moment. the God havnt prepared 1 for me yet.
My 1st relationship which is ultra long distance relationship #(germany-taiwan)lasts 1.5-2year. and now i am single.
May God bless us. amen.
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