Dear God, are You free?
It is the second time I let him go...
Lord, this guy is the first person that clinged me for a long time, at least for a year, when I was in Form 6. And he is the first person appear in my blog, the first person dragged my heart....ha...puppy love at that time....But, he is the first person I like...I concede...
For whole of the year 2003, I kept on hoping to meet with him again, to have his news, to keep in touch with him....but, we didn't have that chance to do so....I used almost a year to delete my feeling toward him...ya, I did it in the last...phew...such a long time...
We didn't contact each other for 7 years....In these 7 years, we have no news from each other...we finished our education and now, we are apart at different place in different carrier...Everything is different after 7 years...
17 July 2010....
is the first date we met in FB...It is just a coincidence where I simply type in my colleague's name and found his profile....Well, I was quite excited at that time to meet with him again....
And...
Last month, he was back for two days...what a short time.....We went out for a movie....He presented me a pack of chocolate as I only notified him once that I like to eat chocolate...ya...its not a big matter....he is gentleman and caring...makes me feel like a lady like gal...ha....have a sweet feeling with him....There are still got many things....just bury it in my mind...
30 Oct 2010...
He confessed to me in MSN at first....Yet,I rejected him..Doubt rite...sounds everything is so good and fine....but how come the ending is like so....he called me and made me stunned...he is working oversea and it is quite expensive for the fare...Yea...I told him, it is more cozy as friend, better stay in present mode...
But...
Only GOD knew the real reason....
There are too many things to consider about...it is not about anything...but religion....Religioun made me ponder and ponder again...let me prohibitive to start...we are different in religion....In before, religion is not a problem but feeling is talking....But now, religion and feeling both are talking now.....A friend reminded me....Human's love is limited and conditional...when a relationship comes to a bottleneck, only GOD's love is able to lead along both of them together and heal the relationship...Two is better then one, yea...., only GOD's love is able to make the couple more lovely with each other....everything will fade with the passing of time, but GOD's love will never fade...
And....We are apart also...I am not really know about him...and either him towards me...ha...so, don't think that i will start before i really know about someone....
Yea....I just wrote the upper half of this post last two days...but, kind of suffer while I am writing this post...I cried desperately...can't continue to finish...Cry....the tears...solaced my sigh...yea...I was sigh for the situation right now...I am a coward....not dare to tell him my true feeling.....
After I rejected him, so surprised I was so down and down...Am I mind? Am I regret? What is that mean? I also don't know...I was tired...tired to wait, tired to guess so many uncertainties...Only God knew about my needs.....I want to rely on Him and let Him decide everything for me...
Yea..I still hoping for a turning back....frank to say.......But I know, it is not for me to decide everything....waiting for God's timing and planning.....I am tired Lord....
A gal who is waiting for love to come...a shoulder to rely...
p/s: ha...just ignore this post...I just want a space to shout out...
It is the second time I let him go...
Lord, this guy is the first person that clinged me for a long time, at least for a year, when I was in Form 6. And he is the first person appear in my blog, the first person dragged my heart....ha...puppy love at that time....But, he is the first person I like...I concede...
For whole of the year 2003, I kept on hoping to meet with him again, to have his news, to keep in touch with him....but, we didn't have that chance to do so....I used almost a year to delete my feeling toward him...ya, I did it in the last...phew...such a long time...
We didn't contact each other for 7 years....In these 7 years, we have no news from each other...we finished our education and now, we are apart at different place in different carrier...Everything is different after 7 years...
17 July 2010....
is the first date we met in FB...It is just a coincidence where I simply type in my colleague's name and found his profile....Well, I was quite excited at that time to meet with him again....
And...
Last month, he was back for two days...what a short time.....We went out for a movie....He presented me a pack of chocolate as I only notified him once that I like to eat chocolate...ya...its not a big matter....he is gentleman and caring...makes me feel like a lady like gal...ha....have a sweet feeling with him....There are still got many things....just bury it in my mind...
30 Oct 2010...
He confessed to me in MSN at first....Yet,I rejected him..Doubt rite...sounds everything is so good and fine....but how come the ending is like so....he called me and made me stunned...he is working oversea and it is quite expensive for the fare...Yea...I told him, it is more cozy as friend, better stay in present mode...
But...
Only GOD knew the real reason....
There are too many things to consider about...it is not about anything...but religion....Religioun made me ponder and ponder again...let me prohibitive to start...we are different in religion....In before, religion is not a problem but feeling is talking....But now, religion and feeling both are talking now.....A friend reminded me....Human's love is limited and conditional...when a relationship comes to a bottleneck, only GOD's love is able to lead along both of them together and heal the relationship...Two is better then one, yea...., only GOD's love is able to make the couple more lovely with each other....everything will fade with the passing of time, but GOD's love will never fade...
And....We are apart also...I am not really know about him...and either him towards me...ha...so, don't think that i will start before i really know about someone....
Yea....I just wrote the upper half of this post last two days...but, kind of suffer while I am writing this post...I cried desperately...can't continue to finish...Cry....the tears...solaced my sigh...yea...I was sigh for the situation right now...I am a coward....not dare to tell him my true feeling.....
After I rejected him, so surprised I was so down and down...Am I mind? Am I regret? What is that mean? I also don't know...I was tired...tired to wait, tired to guess so many uncertainties...Only God knew about my needs.....I want to rely on Him and let Him decide everything for me...
Yea..I still hoping for a turning back....frank to say.......But I know, it is not for me to decide everything....waiting for God's timing and planning.....I am tired Lord....
A gal who is waiting for love to come...a shoulder to rely...
p/s: ha...just ignore this post...I just want a space to shout out...
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