dream? real life?

where is my dream? what i am aiming now? pass the barriers in these 4 years uni life?! huh...sounds not real and fantastic...lately talking about our future time after we gratuate...talking tat how good it is for being a TEACHER...even i sit in Milan bus, got an uncle told me how good is teacher....if u told me, how good is be a teacher, how high is the salary, how good is the welfare....bla..bla..bla..ok,so what?! that's all u think about, i dun think so...once a teacher, be a teacher forever...ah....be a teacher forever? that's not my dream...where is my dream? i dunno, maybe i dun want to think about it...deep inside my mind, now wanna dig it out...
this is the 1st time i deeply think about this about this stupid question, yea...i know, i ought to think about it before i choose my uni course.... still remember that, when the results is proclaimed, i told myself, education is my final choice...but, when applying uni, i put usm education at the 1st place, yea, that's is what i had now...but, that's not what i want...
what do i want actually? ha...i just want something fun and also can learn at the same time...something that is not dull and exciting...something that i like...i even think of jounalism, where u can go travel around, report news, have the 1st hand information and news...wa...what a cool work...and most attractive one is can go to travel around...
i even think of have my own bakery shop, just like Bread History,Secret Recipe...as i like breads and cakes so much, and yea, i like to cook and bake,though i dunno how to bake...hehe...
if i still have one more chance to choose, i think i wont choose to be a teacher..but if i can get one of the dreams that i wish to have, will i be satisfied? i dont think...yea, human being is the most difficult to fulfil, more and want more again...bad conflict...
last study week finally came to the end..pampered myself with rm100++ these 2 days, go shopping around...now planning to watch drama insanely...hehe.....:P
then after all madness, need to have a change of heart to concentrate in my study...2 weeks of study weeks, is a gift to u,as He knows that u dun have enuff time to study before, so He gives u a sufficient time to study, dun simply waste it...Glorify Him through ur study...Father, my future is in your hand, dun forsake me ya..and thanks for everything..May i have wisdom dan confident from u to face my final...Amen....:)

be still...

Qin, u still have a long way to go..ya, it is tough, difficult to go on, lazy to go on, but, dun give up, be still...u can only move forward and no return, eventhough it is not the one that u wish to have or happen...be still...dun give up!!

我遇到瓶颈了。。。。

读书，考试，读书，考试。。。这就是学生生活吗？有点厌倦这样的生活了。发现最近读书的热忱慢慢的减了。。。很常都是到最后一分钟在那边苦读。。。要是以前，教好的功课，老早就在那里读了。现在看到一堆的书，很难提起劲了，能拖就拖。。。也不知自己是那根筋不对了。。。很想狠狠敲醒自己。。。很想找回当日的读书热忱。。。不想再拿借口逃避了。。。想当年，读书可是我最大的乐趣。可是，现在。。。
为什么我会变成那样呢？是不是年纪大了，想的东西也多了？是时候醒了，没多少时间了。。。不要老来后悔哦。。呵！！！振作！！！出发！！！

多一点感恩， 少一点埋怨。。。

在上个祷告会中，学到了，多一点感恩， 少一点埋怨。。。生活中，有很多事是值得感恩的。。。
虽然病了，但感恩，不是家人或朋友病了，自己也不是病得很重。
虽然考不好，但感恩，没有考得很差。
虽然忙，但感恩，还有时间睡觉、休息。
虽然烦恼，但感恩，还有一群陪你笑、陪你解闷的朋友。。。
多一点感恩， 就多一份快乐。何必在意那份恩，有多大？
生活毕竟不能尽如人意，但，这就是生活。。。你服不服？？？ 服！！！

tired....but still need to carry on...

it was 2 weeks after i back to penang...the schedule after cny...really rushing and packing...
wat?! tired? no more excuses for tired and no more time to say tired... March will be my damn busy mth... can only move forward and No pause...

Love...haha..this is the word that i heard most frequent recently...love is giving and serving. it is not holding in ur hand...when u are willing to give, it will turn back to u...woo....what a deep meaning...
sometimes, frens asking me why i am still single? ya, why? i also dunno...maybe i am not that kind of gal who is attractive and shocked boys...ha..wondering...
yea... i did regret that i not holding tight the lots come to me...just let it go by...ha...sigh...

suddenly feeling so lonely...

Going back....sobsob T.T.....

this time back to home, i have another mission to do...i want to transmit gospel to my family, but i found that really hard to do so, as they looks like very defying...especially my big brother...izzit really hard to do so? they are doubt with the faith in God...i am scare that in the day of trial, they will be in the abyss of suffering...they are my beloved family, i dun want they to be so... oh Lord, could u pls show me wat can i do? i know it is a long way to go, it is impossible to change their mind in a single day...God will accompany me to walk through...i can only uphold them in my prayer, and keep on praying for them...hope there will be a day where they were renewed....
mom, dad, i now with wat i am now is all with the faith and believe in God...pls do trust this miracle and amazing grace...and we still have the chance to live another day, to take another breath, to have another blink, its all gifts from GOD...

and, now the feeling is really down...going to return penang tmr, and it is only the 2nd day of cny...ai..wonder why i book the air ticket so early...really wanna kick my coconut head...really dun want back to penang, i not yet go to visit my buddies...not yet celebrate my grandparents' birthday...ai....sigh...speechless...sobsob T.T ...

p/s: Happy Chinese New Year to you all!!!!!! ^.^

Home Sweet Home.. ^.^

ya..i am back, back to my home, back to my family, reunion with my family...saw daddy and mummy at the airport, i felt so grateful...they were healthy...yea, tis was the ever best present for me in this new year...oh no, my youngest brother!! u r gained weight again and even taller than i...hmm...wat a sister...hey, i think u r overweight la, u r juz 11 years old..how it could be after few years later...
back home, enjoy eating the delicious chicken soup prepared by mom....yummmy yummy...it is really long yearned food...^.^
in the rest of the days, wat a emperor life...day by day, sleep, eat, watch tv...and sleep again..haha,...piggy...:P

is the final countdown....

hehe....there are 2 days left, 2 DAYS LEFT!!! I CAN REUNION WITH MY FAMILY!!!It is really really a long awaited time...feeling high and excited now, as it is about 7 months i din c my family...really really miss them...how r they now? mom, dad, hehe, ur darling is going back, hehe...prepare sum delicious dishes 4 me...
oh...my bed, my guniuea pigs, ooo..too much things..ooooooo......
haha...buddies, how r u all?
this time my new year is just a short period, as i have to return in 20th (chu shang)...aiai...nvm la, at least i can go back and reunion with my beloved family...
dun wan to come back la, a lot of assignments need to complete...and only one mths+++ left b4 start final....ahhhhaahhh..suffer!!!

久违了，我的部落格

好久没有写部落格了。。。已经有一个月了。。。想想这整个月我做了什么。我想除了忙还是忙。。。
新的一年才刚开始，排山倒海的考试，功课，接踵而来。。。压得我透不过气，压得我想逃跑，压得我好想放弃这些，回家算了。。我什么都不要了。。。这整个月， 我仿佛觉得我快要崩溃了。。。感觉肩好重，手上好多东西未完成。 好想逃避，不想去面对。。但，想到难道我就这么没用吗？这么一点苦都不能忍，以后你还能生活吗？
有时不知有谁会明白我的烦， 倾听我的心。。。好累好累。。。
但，神真的明白我的需要，我的缺乏。。神透过一天一天的灵修。。。他来对我说话， 亲手来医治我。。。我觉得虽然我很难受，但，却出奇的平静，平安。。。相信必会度过这一切，而且还是有神的带领。。。
拜六早的灵修，最深触我心。。“当忧虑在我们的心里肆虐时，应但把它卸下交给主，再也不要自己去担负“（彼得前书5章7节）。念到这里，觉得是何等的奇妙。。。
接下来几天的灵修，主都透过灵修，提醒我，试炼是预备我们通往得胜的道路。感恩啊~~~！！！！

亲爱的天父，
谢谢你让我们何时何事都能向你倾诉
我们为着这特权心怀感恩，
因你的独生爱子耶稣的死与复活，
为我们成就了这样的事。
谢谢你让我们借着祷告，让我们随时亲近你。。。。

Hello 2007!!!

year 2006 was ended, and year 2007 is begin...
wish everyone have a fruitful, prosperous and blessed new year.....cheer!!!

what an unefficient day...

the day after christmas day should be a fresh and a nice day, but what to say, today really low efficiency....not because i was empty energy...but............

woke up early in the morning, as have class at 8am...then went to school by foot. ok, 1st walking, fine...as it is usual cox the earliest bus is at 7.15am, can't manage to wake up that early...after reached lecture hall, find a comfortable seat to start our lecture...10minutes past, another 10 minutes...where is the lecture? damn, she is not coming...well, now, oredi felt a little mad as we don't have enuff sleep, felt like fooled by sum1...ok, walked back again, the 2nd walking...tired..

then, start the 3rd walking, as have lecture at 11am and no bus at that time, now the sun started to blaze and made us felt like wanna suffocate...it is 'killing' me....
now, the highlight comes...we forced out by another lecturer!!! her reason is she was given by the school that now is her time, her class and she should be the one to use it...our lecturer even argued with her and we even showed her our timetable, but useless, she is blind and deaf on that all things...
"can u all please move out now as i have to start my lecture", " i don't know that all, now is my time. it is not my fault"..these were the things she said..damn, u r really impolite...no deal, our lecturer cancelled the class...ahhhaahahah....cancelled again, how much times had we wasted?????!!!! the time is ticking....

ok, fine, luckily, the next class was as usual, but i can't concentrate anymore as i was really tired and sleepy....
after had my lunch, walk to the nearby shop to buy something, the sun just like the blaze of the desert sun, it's goin to melt anything...damn hot!!

finally, finished our last lecture at 4pm and manage to take the bus home....

so, to conclude, each walking took 25 minutes. 3X 25 minutes=75 minutes. cancelled class 50 minutes. all together, 125 minutes wasted...really an unefficient day...:(
wish to have a better day tmr...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Jux wanna to say, Merry christmas to u all and wish u all have a fruitful, joyful and prosperous new year!!!

生.老.病.死. 人的一生?!

如果有一天, 当你致爱, 致亲的人, 离开了你, 而你未能在他身旁, 你会怎样面对呢? 换了是我, 我想我会崩溃...

最近, 发生了很多事...一件一件不如意的事都一一的上演...
牧师孩子的挣扎, 朋友的亲人...
人是脆弱的, 生命也由不得我们控制, 不知它几时会划上句号.
能活到今时今日, 全是神的恩典...每天早上, 知道自己能升个懒腰, 吸口空气, 眼珠子会转动, 这都是恩典啊!!

不知现在的你怎样了...你被打倒了吗?
我所认识的你, 总是笑脸迎人, 可却不知你心底最深处的忧愁...
女孩,你当刚强. 让主亲自来医治你...
他必带领你一家渡过这一切苦难...别放弃, 别崩溃...我们会更迫切为着你与你的家人来祷告...
加油噢...女孩!!

牧师, 你比我们每一个人都辛苦, 可是看到你总是在自己的岗位那么的尽心尽力, 我们都深受感触...
看到你孩子的不幸, 我们会更迫切为着他来祷告...

生.老.病.死. 真的是人的一生吗?人有旦夕過福！月有陰晴圓缺！誰都不知道下一刻自己會如何？如果走到了人生的尽头, 才恍然原来自己的人生是这么虚空的. 到时你再怎样锤心, 哀哭都无济于事了... 现在, 能做的就是, 能珍惜的，就努力去珍惜它...但更重要的是在有生之年, 更加的亲近主, 爱主,传扬主的大能...并时时感恩你还有呼吸的一天....

主啊, 很感谢你, 你让我与我的家人走到了今天...求主保佑我的家人, 因他们是我生命中最重要的人...

圣诞歌穿梭云宵, 但听在一些人耳里, 我想, 也变得单调了...

is time to start...

phew....2 weeks camps in KL finally came to an end...what did i earn from those camps? just want to say, it is worthy, don't miss such a good and valuable camps- Purpose Driven Life Camp and The Greatest Thing is Love...what i experienced in these 2 camps cannot be described in any single word..really grateful as i joined...if i have chance, wanna share wif u all more

and, is time to back to the real world...4 weeks holiday, is time to end...and is time to start my 4th semester in USM...yea, i can hear the sigh of suffer...why we need to start our school so early? others uni start early in Jan, and only USM and UMS, what a 'hardworking' uni...ai...

we all are now on the road of adulthood.childhood stayed in brain cell. the time continue to run, we can only marching onwards and there is no u-turn. the life of students is the most precious one, agree? sure! this morning, a fren keeps on moaning as he needs to do OT. his time no longer belongs to him. yea, still a student,can arrange ur own time, can do anything u want and u dont want, but it is no way after u stepped out to society. hey man, chill out!!! u r a strong man right?
yes...this coming semester, need to put much more efforts, need to study harder and harder, dont want be lazy anymore, coz time is ticking!!!! the race is started!! ur time is still flexible now!! Baxia!! Fighting!!
New sem, I am ready!!

Jalan-jalan cari makan, 1-12-06

很常都听节目, 朋友介绍槟城是个美食天堂...来了这边这么久都没去吃美食, 怎样都对不起自己啦..终于, 有这个机会了...哈哈...不过也梃辛苦的. 七个人坐在一辆Iswara, 很挤噢...坐到脚都麻了...
因为不熟槟城的路, 所以走了很多冤枉路.好在有senior帮忙带路..要不然, 美食没吃到, 吃空气也吃饱了..拿着地图, 就像Explorace, 逐个逐个找...:), 好在有senior mark 好地图...
那一天, 整天都在吃. 第一站, 我们先去点心之家. 各式各样, 琳琅满目的点心,就像我们时常在港剧看到的点心...可是不能吃太饱...接下来, 要去吃我的最爱-炒果条.
penang char kaey thew
可是那家出名的还没开...:(..后来就误打误撞的去到一家店吃红豆冰..还蛮不错的, 可是太甜了..
penang laksa vz sarawak laksa?! penang laksa out...
penang laksa
还是喜欢sarawak laksa. 这里的laksa 是asam laksa, 味道怪怪的...面不像面, 倒像米粉...还有哦, 天气热时, 来一碗cendol真的很爽噢...
cendol..
这里的cendol很好吃. 跟诗巫的有差别.最出名的就是在一条小巷.
吃饱了怎样都要动一动啦...哈,原来有toy museum的.来到toy museum, 就像回到童年, 各式各样的玩具, 人像, 服装, 都一一陈列在眼前....连热辣辣的电影, 动画, 漫画, 电动游戏, 你能想到的, 你不能想到的, 都能在这里看到...a very recommended venue to visit...
Oops...五脏庙又开始作怪了...ok, depart to one-stop to eat Thailand ice-cream. it consists of bread, nasi pulut, peanut, and ice-cream. d ice cream is not vanila flavour, chocolate flavour, or else, it is made of coconut water...really delicious and tasty...aduh...high calories la...gaining fat again!!!
Later, we went to a new-opened Queensbay Mall...ha, my heaven right? absolutely no. It is damn big and the things sold inside are damn expensive, can only window shopping...not effort to buy...
aiyo...y it is raining now? the heavy downpour + opening of Queesbay Mall + Pesta Penang + Mega Sales = terrible Snarl-up. :( and firstly planned to eat chicken porridge at Georgetown, but have to cancel it now. Guess where we go to eat? Super Tanker la, the place where all of us really don't want to go, coz we oredi went there for many times to have our lunch or dinner. no deal...
now, is time to have supper...hehe....my supper is coffee...tis time went to Old Town, a famous place to enjoy coffee.
after that, continue to explore around Georgetown..hehe..., there is a street name- love lane. from the name, what will u think of? hmm...just left for u all to think about...
and now is 11pm, and we are rounding penang...aduh, round till 3am...really tired and sleepy...
then there comes the end of our plan...
And, want to tell u all, it is really grateful and nice to have frens like u all...Cheers!!!
p/s: ahhhhaahhaha.....starting of nightmare!! i am gaining fat!!!

And, i m going to have camps in KL in next coming two weeks...wish to hv a good and nice tryout over there....

My footprints in Sabah- Sabah trip in June

last June, after ended my fresher life in uni, finally can have a week vacation in Sabah with my family...hmm...tell u all, i am Sabahan actually, and tis is the 1st time i went back to my born land when i grew up...previously i did go back to visit my relatives over there,but, all of it forgot already..and at the same time can visit my big brother who was working over there...hey man, how r u?
What is the first thought that comes to ur mind when Sabah is mentioned? Frankly, i would say it is not tat developed...well, u r wrong, it's gorgeous now!
wat i am really praise is it's totally different from its olden day...it is fully developed...and, it is a vacation paradise!!
oh my....when u go to Tanjung Aru beach, the shimmering and crystal clear beach, can u believe that there is such a beautiful scene?! there were also a lot of islands where u can visit oso..
there are a lots of delicious delicacies around the beach...i stil remember that i m most attracted to the 'char kue thew' over there...uhhh..wat la, juz a simple cook which can get in any place, yea, juz a simple cook, but, i went there for more than 3 times and everytime i must order tat food...can u imagine the taste? it is really really delicious...YUMMY YUMMY...
And..walau..another appalled thing is, can u imagine tat u can get a 30cm height drink with cost only RM 3.50 and it is fruit juice!! haha..dad's reaction stil fresh in my mind..he was shocked when he saw it!
another paradise is Sutera Harbour Resort. ha...if u think that there was no international standareded resort in Malaysia then, u r really outdated and lousy...it is a 7-stars resort..here is really really an amazing place...u will keep on screaming...as u will fully salute with the structures and the buildings inside. it is really a romantic place!! believe me
but so sad, i din bring along my digicam and could not capture such a miracle place..
here is the link where u can noe it more
http://www.suteraharbour.com/new/
In Sabah, there is no way for u to skip the seafood..it is famous with its seafood, right? yea, really enjoy eating seafood over there...

in a nutshell, we are more closed after this vacation..and found that big brother really changed a lot after left home..he became more considerable and more rational...and tis precious moment was deeply stated in my mind...Cheer!!

and my next aim is i wanna climb Mount Kinabalu!!

Pictures draw hundred words...here are sum of the pics tat i took during my vacation....Cheer~~~~

New place, new friendship..

wonderful moments at Genting, during my sophomore...Cheer!!

Friendship...

no deny, we cannot survive without frens...there is a say, where at home, u depend on parent, outside u depend on frens...frens play an important character and role in our life, no matter who, we cannot live alone, without any1, right? if u are like so, u are really pity...as u live all by urself, no others...wat a pity....
gals, i m really appreciating u all.....albeit i had not seen u all for a long time, i m still keep u all deep inside my heart...i m really grateful to have frens like u gals...even though juz a simple regard, 'How r u", tat's enough for everythings...
seeing the moon at different places, when there is the time, then is time to reunion...

Lang, ebeth, angeline, friendship forever!!! cheer!!
miss u all~~

Precious moments in olden day....

感觉? 神的旨意?

感觉对你来说, 重要吗? 还是你顺服神的旨意?

前晚, 学好吉它, 就去吃久违的宵夜了...不知不觉, 大家也聊起自己对另一半的看法...有的重感觉, 有的看重他/她是否是合神心意的人..
感觉对我来说是很重要的...淡了, 就是没了. 这种感觉来得快也去的快...这并不是神安排的另一半...
有个朋友说, 你交了一个男/女朋友, 你求神祝福, 神会祝福你. 但, 若你先问神, 他/她是否是祢安排的, 神会赐你更大的祝福. 这两种不一样祝福, 你要哪个呢? 期待, 等待, 主为我安排的

单身? 由始至终都没想过. 可是, 如果真的有那么一天, 我会顺服吗?

等待

这星期的祷告会. 教了我学习等待的功课..生活里, 等待是难免的, 有时你等的不是你要的, 有时又错过了你等的..唯有长叹无奈!
等待, 是很苦的...但你愿意等吗? 若你愿意等, 并将主权交给那万事都能的主, 那你就有资格得福了...
我需要反省了, 这个功课, 我都不去深思...生活里, 主权都在自己手中, 没将它交托上帝...道理知道得很多, 可是都没行出...矛盾的人啊, 反省吧!!!