Melancholy

I am really moody lately. I am pregnant for the 7th month and feeling so frustrated lately. Easily to cry, easily to feel down, easily to feel sad... I need my husband beside, but seems like he quite enjoy his life out there. Who don't want their husband to pamper them and accompany them? I also need him, but i just can't speak out easily. I don't want him to feel that I am so independent and always need pamper. I don't want him to feel burden. Sometime I can't even speak out that I'm worry about baby, this and that, just because I don't want him to worry the same way as me too. But I felt angry when he is hanging out there so happily... And I selfish and abnormal? I need hug at night.. I need caring words too when I am down. Yet, now, I can only omit all of these into my mind, buried it deep and deep.... 

Hardly to find a way out to cheer up myself...Afraid that my baby will be like me too as baby is inside my bump and closest with me now... Can baby feel my mind and I am moody now? Will my husband feel that I am down, sad and worry now? No, he won't....

Lord, I am tired and this time, not like just speak out and can remedy all. I just feel like a sound in my mind that, something is happening....something that's miserable going to appear and happen. Mood is melancholy.... Not yet labor the baby, but I started to desperate...How's it gonna be when baby came to this world? Husband is not beside, who is going to accompany in the mid night? nobody............Lord, I can rely on You only... You're the one i fully count on...as, reality is cruel...

Be bold gal and harden my heart Lord.... Let me be a mommy with brave and love, but not the one with hate and afraid....